Life is about living not fearing...

I have always thought, I was never afraid of  anything. I was am a tomboy who is ready to try anything new or different. I am not afraid of heights or darkness. I never had stage fright or meeting new people. I was not afraid of exams thou when results are to be announced I could feel my butterflies waking from their sleep in my tummy. But that’s normal! Years of boarding life, made me love hostel life, so no fear in moving away from family too. I love speed and no amounts of accidents, or bruised knees or arms could keep me away from riding my two-wheeler or car. I thought I was scared of cockroaches, but 12^th grade Biology practical’s forced me to catch them alive, drug them and dissect them. And to my horror I was good in that and I loved doing that! So there ended my cockroach fear too.

Pic Credits: Google Images

So there I was living gloriously thinking that I don’t have fear for anything. But that came to end when I realized that I was afraid to get hurt emotionally. When life is going very happily and eventfully with friends and close ones as any other normal college going girl, with a pinch of “everything is perfect no one can make it imperfect attitude”, I lost a dear friend of my in an accident. And that was a blow to my arrogance. That made me conscious that life is not predictable. Anything can happen to you, me or the person next door. His going away, made me realize that I, who thought was not afraid of anything, was actually dreading his absence. I was not ready to accept the person who was with you this moment would never be visible again. I couldn’t accept that he won’t be there when we organize a reunion after 10 years. I took that fact so deeply and started to withdraw from everyone. I was in an impression that, if you’re not close to anyone, no one can hurt you. I literally closed down myself, and kept everyone at a safe distance.

Like someone said, God always have his own ways to do something, and that will be weirdest way ever. When I thought no one or nothing could hurt me if I stayed away from people, God proved me wrong in the most unacceptable way. I lost yet another friend of mine to death. And that was one hard blow to my head. I was hurt like before. Maybe more, thinking that I could have made much more memories with this one, if only I had permitted myself. When we buried him, I buried my stay-away-stay-happy attitude too. Now I know, no matter what you do, no matter how you live your life, people come and go in your life. Some are just meant to stay for a while, and some for long. However, when each person leaves you by choice or by chance, you will feel sad or deeply hurt. And you’ll definitely miss that person. But if you chose to live the time you had with that one happily, making memories and do what you want, then you are making yourself and the other person happy too.

Today I am not afraid of losing people, because I know when they move away from my life, I have given them some memories of “us” to take with them. That thought itself, makes me happy today. Like they say "Dhar ke aage jeet hai" .... and happiness too. 

   Pic Credits: Google Images

This post is written for  Indiblogger's prompt "Rise Above Fear"  By Mountain Dew. 
#RiseAboveFear

Forgotten Memories

Memories are the gifts we earn from our life. They have an ability to make us cry and smile at any time of the day or night. Thou we keep telling people to live in the present rather than pondering the past, all of us, absolutely all of us, at some time or the other, switched off all the sound and craziness of our present day and just flipped back to our older moments. That moment which made us smile, or cry or feel special, loved or that moment of grief… Anything and everything that happens in our life is been recorded by our mind. And we knowingly or unknowingly chose to forget some, ignore some, and block the rest.

I don’t remember the day I was born, but I have no doubt it’s been deeply engraved in my Mom’s mind. I don’t remember my first day of school, but my Dad might never forget that. I remember my first friend, even thou I have no idea where he is now. I remember the pampering from my Dad, thou I tend to ignore my Mom’s scoldings. I remember the day when Dad said goodbye when he dropped me in boarding school for the first time. I could still hear my Mom’s voice over the phone telling that I am going to be a sister. I still flinch in pain from the burned skin I got while ironing my friend’s dress but lying to her when she asked what happened because I didn't want her to feel bad. That naughtiness when friends decided to make maggi in the dressing room when our warden went out. I would still feel tense thinking about my first boards. The embarrassment I felt after wearing the saree for the first time for farewell.  I remember the day before the boards results were to be announced asking Dad, whether it was OK if I failed and feeling happy the next day to see my Dad proud after the results came. Can picture the first day of college so perfectly. First bunch of friends. Still can feel the butterflies in my stomach when I saw my crush for the first time… Ufff! I wanted to just turn around and walk. But still put on a brave face and talked to him. Feels the same emotions over and over again when I think about the moment I heard the death of a friend. The numbness when had to see his lifeless body. The proud satisfaction after completing an event successfully with friends. The lost moment when left hometown. The happiness to touch its ground on vacations… The sheer bliss when I step into my childhood room after years.

All these are just mere moments of everyday life. But it is my life. They made me who I am today. If I am bold, moments in my past made me so. If I am sensitive, I had faced some hard paths. If I am jovial, there were moments of laughter in my past. If I am a caring person, I was cared before and want to reciprocate that to others. If I love to travel, I have discovered the happiness of exploring in my yesterdays. If I have so many friends, I enjoyed having people around. If I chose to have few friends, then I might had some bitter experience in friendship. 

I believe that everything we are in this moment is because of what we were till the previous moment and how each incidents and people in our life have affected us. "Let it go" is just a way of storing that memory at the farthest place… but still it’s stored but not deleted. 

I guess or rather believe no one can actually forget their memories, unless and until a memory itself wants to be forgotten. Like the writer, Haruki Murakami quoted, "No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories."

Open up yourself before returning back.

An old woman died after living a full life. So when it was time to engrave a wording about her life on her gave, no one knew what to write. Thou she lived a full time, she didn’t do anything much. So an elder person in that group suggested a quote, which everyone agreed wholeheartedly. And that was, “Returned Unopened.” 

One day when we die, do we want others to even consider thinking like this about us? Personally, no. I wish to be that person who could leave this world, making a difference to atleast one. It can be my family, kids or a complete stranger. I have seen people near and far pass away. And I have seen some people been remembered even after years of their demise and some forgotten after days. I don’t want my dear ones to cry when my time comes but I want them to miss me in a genuine way.

All of us are loaded with so much of goodness. Even the most horrible person will have something good in him. But usually we are so tuned into ourselves, everything that happens and anything we do revolve around our happiness and our good life. Not once, we look beside us to that individual who might need a shoulder to lean. Not once we notice well in a stranger before criticizing him. Not once we pay for a coffee for that homeless.

There’s only one more month to complete the book of 2014. Fill it up with gratitude, good deeds and happy moments, rather than complaints, whines and grudges. 

Happy December to all my dear friends. Stay blessed, happy and grateful for this moment. 

From the Past...

I miss those Saturdays when I tossed away my blanket and run right to the hall, switch on my favorite channel and snuggled in my favorite sofa. Or those days when I could fake a stomach ache just because I didn’t feel like going to school. Actually I never did that. I loved going to school. And if by any chance I didn’t want to go, mom allowed me to stay back. Or crying the day before my Geography exam because I had so much to study and just a few hours and then mom says it ok if you flunk write whatever you know (That was the only time she was cool about flunking L). And the happiness when the scores came, for I actually did a good job. Or eagerly waiting for the summer holidays, so I could fly to Dad and be with him for whole two months. Or days hours I went on a hunger strike because I wanted a computer. Or the board exam fear. Or the phone calls from my best friend the night before the exam to do that last minute combine studies. Or the moments when J and I exchanged those Sidney Sheldon books which were paper wrapped because we were still too young to read them. Or the day when mom forcefully made me do a confession to our Priest when I questioned my Christian beliefs after reading Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. Or the hours spend in school library bunking Hindi lectures. Or the hard work done in organizing a Science Expo or a school event and the fun we had and blunders we did. Or mimicking the accent of the new North Indian Nuns not knowing that eventually we’ll also be speaking in that very same accent. Or been melodramatic about the farewell and the first saree. Or that rainy last day of school when I roamed around the premises, cherishing all the nook and corners with my best friend.

I miss those innocent days of childhood. Then it was more of living but now it’s more of surviving.

But I am grateful for those days of wonder years. They still make me smile and taught me to see dreams.

So what was your wonder years like? Do share the fun and happy moments.

Allow Them To Live their Life.

A young man ended his life, because he couldn’t cope up with the pressure his studies demanded. He was a writer by heart. But his father wanted him to be an IITian, which he became. But not for long. And even now, his father lives in agony for his loss. Another girl, wanted to be a pilot, she dreamed about flying, and exploring new places. But she ended up in a Med School. After two years in school, she was admitted in the psychiatry department for severe depression.

“Follow your heart.” … something we often hear from all the successful people. But are we actually letting our children to follow their own dreams.  Yes, a percentage is… but majority are not. I am an engineer, by chance. And should say I never hated another profession the way I hate this one. And I have worked only less than a year in it. After that I couldn’t take it anymore. Not saying that it’s not a good profession, but I am not a good engineer. I believe engineering is the backbone of the world. And you should be passionate enough to be in that, which I am not. 

Every time when a parent decides something in their child’s life, one sentence they never fail to say is, “This is for your own good. I want you to have a good life.” But when are they going to understand that for a good life, happiness is the most important thing. I don’t believe that money can bring happiness. And if you’re not happy with your work, your work doesn’t even bring you the money or fame you deserve.

There are travelers now, who earn their bread and butter just through travelling the world and living their dream. But does any parent accept that as a profession. No! We have to fight for that, go against their wishes and show that this can be a dream job. And then they might give us a good smile. But why so much hungama? You gave birth to them, you bought them up, and you taught all the good things, to choose what is right and understand what is wrong. If you have complete faith in your upbringing or in your child, let him follow his heart. He may make mistakes, but he’ll learn from that. He might fall down trying, but he’ll get up again. But he will be happy doing this. At the end of the day he’ll be satisfied with the work and life he has and every morning he’ll be pleased to do the same.

There are people who are all ready to follow the crowd, but there are other people who want to make their own path. Let them do that. Just don’t hold them back to follow the everyday crowd. In the long run, these rebels will make everyone proud.  

Once ...

There was once a little girl, who was always happy. She lived her life the way she wanted. Every morning her day started with loads of love, smiles and happiness. She went to school, took lessons, studied hard, played with her friends and was the apple of her parents’ and eyes.

One fine afternoon while she was coming home from school singing and laughing, a wolf jumped in front of her. She, who was a friend of every human and beast in her village didn’t feel any fear. But this wolf, jumped upon her, torn her clothes, ripped her soul apart and left her there… all alone. She didn’t understand what happened or why this happened to her. But she knew something bad and cruel was what she went through. She didn’t know why the wolf didn’t kill her but left her behind giving all the pains.  She passed out and lye there until someone came and recognized and informed her parents.

No one saw her laughing after that. No one allowed their children to visit her or take her to school again. Every parent blamed her for been a wild child who was insanely happy and carefree.  According to them it was her fault. She shouldn’t have laughed so loudly, talked kindly to everyone, or just been helpful to all. It was her fault that she was good. Her fault, that she was pretty and unaware of that. Her fault, that she didn’t hide behind her duppata and made herself invisible. No one, for once blamed the wolf for snatching away her happiness from her. No one for once said, it was ok, let it go. Wherever she went, everyone looked down at her. In a few hours she became the untouched from the lovable child.

She didn’t know what to do, whom to approach or who will listen to her woes. She couldn’t bare the looks of the world, who were undressing her just by their stares. She felt more humiliated. One fine morning, she wore the best clothes, hugged her family put the brightest smile on her face, went inside the farthest and darkest room in her house, and closed the door... never to open again.

Hey You,

Yeah, you itself. Not the young you or the old one. Just you. The present one. Two days ago you were asking yourself and all around you, what’s all about life? Why are we born? Isn’t life too monotonous? If we are meant to live a routine life then why are we born?

Personally for me life is all about been happy. Been lovable. Having people around you who makes you feel special and in turn who you love like anything. Living life is all about been good to others, been there for them when they least expect but wish they had someone.

For me life is coming back home doing that job you love so much. Feeling happy and content from the satisfaction you get when you do your job. Living life is having the courage to dropdown everything when you feel tied up, choked, and packs that bag to breathe some fresh air. Life is having people who understand you so well, that you don’t have to explain yourself, for them to accept your weirdness or imperfections. It’s all about having that chocolate bar, you’re not supposed to have, but you want to have. Life is like hearing that song repeatedly for the hundredth time, just because you love the sound of it. Seeing that movie for the last time again, even when you know all the scenes by heart just because you love the actor so much. Life is all about been alive. Alive doesn’t mean just breathing. It means breathing because you want to. Living life is falling in love with that imperfect person because you can’t just not fall in love with him, even when he’s not made for you.

Life is all about repetitions in a different way. It’s monotonous yet so adventurous. It’s a planned routine, but no two days are alike. Life is all about embracing everything and making that extra path to happiness.

If something is making you unhappy, change that. If something is making you sulk, change that. If your life itself is making you sad, change yourself and make your life happy.

Whatever happens, be happy in life. Because everything is all about your smiles.

Yours,

Me.

Been Grateful...

Another month. A new one. And just two more months to go for New Year. Awe… how fast this time goes. September was a good month for me. Thou was hectic, thank God didn’t had to face with much downs. In personal phase… two of my favorite cousins got married and happily enjoying their honeymoon right now. And my nephew celebrated his first birthday. And in work phase… ticked off the initial step for new ventures. So a happy September it was.

It’s said that every morning we have to be grateful to God for a new day, a new beginning, a fresh start. Infact should be thankful to everyone around us for all that they do to make our life easy. Been grateful for your life, for the people who are there for you, for the tiny tot happy moments you get every day is a positive way to approach life. We know that life is not always fair, it can be so rude that there are moments of giving up we face. But when we realize that even the unfair life, shows love towards us by sending some people or moments, to make our day easier, every difficulty looks much lighter.

What am I grateful for in life?

Actually for everything. Everyone. Aren’t we all? Yes! But the realization hits way late, maybe when we miss someone or something. Till then, it’s all taken for granted.

I am grateful for every single soul (Living and death) who has been in my life till date.

Family. Cousins, who despite the distance and different paths taken in life, at the end of the day no matter what, leaves a message to mark their presence in my life.

Friends (Virtual and non-virtual). People who loved me the weird way I am. And also to those, who made me realize that no one is worth holding when you have to drop your standards for that.

My librarian back in school who did a major role in entitling the love for books in me. I am forever grateful to her. In lower grades, if she hadn’t allowed me to take those brand new books which were only meant for senior students, I won’t have been a bibliophile now. 

This blog, which happened on a midnight some years ago, when I was so frustrated and angry at life, and wanted to take that out on something or someone to remain sane but still didn’t want that scapegoat to be a living being. And double grateful for the friends who visit this space.

So welcoming October with a open heart, full of hope for a good month for everyone.

Things To Tick Off Before The Last Breath ...

1. Travel

I want to see, explore, and experience different culture, cuisines and everything new about all the (atleast most of the) countries in this world and esp. India. Even thou I would like to go with a friend or a dear one, some places are entirely reserved for solo travelling.

2. Learn

There are so many subjects I want to learn academically. But in between got diverted to things that never interested me. Now, took the initial step to the old road. Thou it is going to take almost another 10 years to reach there… I am on my way.

3. Adopt a Baby Girl

The day I hit 30 (if not married), going to write the application for this. If unfortunately I am married before that, I will make sure my man is in tune with this decision of mine. Therefore, whatever my relationship status will be, adopting a child tops the list.

4. Book Café

A cozy cave with so much of colors, lights and soothing music in the background. Nook and corners filled with bookracks. Hammocks, beanbags, couches, and common reading areas and also private spaces to those who want to hide from the crowd, party rooms. Lots of caffeine, beverages, chocolates, other sinful delights, some selected cuisines, laughter, smiles, memories etc etc etc .

5. Careers

Work for a Newspaper – I want to know how these papers work. How journalists give their best to write a story, how photographers hold their breath to capture that perfect shot, how all these are combined to form the bundle of paper we hold each day with a cup of coffee to know about the world.

Work for a NGO – MAD was the group who showed me that happiness doubles when you make another person happy, and triples if it is a child. Another event with the kids made me realize there are children who want to be heard, who seek companionship, just to be there for them, and to ensure that everything good is going to happen to them. When I was part of these tiny tot moments of them, the self-satisfaction I felt was so immense. And I want more of that. 

A teacher – No, I do not have the patience for this. Even an hour with my teenage brother along with his books, makes me scream, take a cane, blackmail him, pinch him, and makes me completely insane. So hours with students bearing all their acts is something above my tolerance level. But the way a teacher can touch a child’s life is magical. And atleast for once, I wish… I hope… I pray… I could be part of that magic.

6. Adventure

Sky diving/Paragliding/River drafting/Mountaineering/Scuba diving/etc etc …. These are things I intent to do when I pack my backpack and leave home to see the world. So when travelling is happening this is also definitely going to happen.

7. Live in New York

These days travelling to NY is not a big deal. But I don’t want to just visit that place and come back. It has always mesmerized me just by letting me know her through movies and books. I want to live there atleast for a year, be a part of everyday life in NY and want to know that place like the back of my hands.

8. My very own Library

This is one dream very bibliophile cherish. Same goes for me too. Imagine just opening that door in your house, when you are in need of a book. No driving. No shopping. No waiting. Nothing! Just take that book from the shelf, find a cozy corner, and curl up with a cup of cocoa and the book. Bliss!

9. Publish a Book

No… not my live story. A fiction? Not sure. But something.

10. Live life with no regrets

Waking up someday when I’m in my 60’s, 70’s or 80’s and realising that I didn’t live my life the way I wanted or didn’t see those places I dreamt of or didn’t read/see/experience that book/movie/show I so badly wanted too or didn’t take up that career I saw myself in or was too late to say “I love you” to someone or anything like that. Someone once said that peaceful death comes to those people who lived their dream life in their own terms. Therefore, that is the ultimate aim. 

*****

This is a topic seen in Indiblogger. 
These days’ bucketlists are incomplete without tags. So to make the story complete, I’m tagging Bhavya, Shalini, Meena, Shailaja & Gayatri  to share their 10 “must-do” things list. And anyone interested can take up too. Waiting to read all the list. :) 

Drabble

She was not born as a talented writer. But the love for words and stories determined her to be a writer. She felt alive when her nose is deep buried inside a book. When the time came to decide what to do with her life, she knew she wanted to change the world through her words just as Marthin Luther said. “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.”

In college when her favorite professor quoted Ray Bradbury, “Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.” It became her motto for survival. And after years of reading, writing, getting rejected … today she’s going to publish her first book … her first step towards her dream career.

***

Linking this to Write Tribe 100 Words on Saturday Prompt.

Connect and Stay Together ...

Dear Son,

Happy Birthday to you!

You would have been 21 if you were still here, with us. Now as you are in a place where age is not a factor (believe so) you are still 20 and going to be that forever.

Yesterday we thought to celebrate your day, by getting your favorite cake. But didn’t have the strength to actually do that. How could we buy your favorite chocolate cake and have it without you near us? Arnav came home in the morning. He misses you. Said you were his best friend and no one else seems to be able to fill that position. I think no one can take someone else’s place in a person’s life. Whoever comes in my and your mom’s life, nothing can replace you, my son. No other relations gives us the joy that came from been your parents. But guess we never realized that before. Or we never made you realize that.

I never knew how unhappy you were with your life. When you moved on taking our dreams and leaving yours aside, I thought you were happy and made new dreams to fly after. I never saw that the smile had disappeared from your last two years photographs. Before that, all your pictures were filled with your warm smile. I never noticed all those status updates in your page, even when I have liked and commented in some. I thought it was the poetic side of yours, but never guessed even for a second that those were the exact thoughts you wanted to convey to me. I could not even grieve thinking you never told me anything. Because you did. In your own small ways.  But it was me who ignored them as if they were nothing. I am sorry dear son.

Now I remember you calling me to say how unhappy you felt there and how you find it very difficult to adjust. But when I told you to stay strong and it was my dream to see you coming out from there with excellence and not in failure, you said you are fine and going to be ok. I never realized that you were actually not fine and those words were just to calm me down. If only I heard you then. If only I took that extra step to hug you and listen to you, you would have been still here beside me. We miss you so much. The thought that if we had connected with you, if we had listened to your heart, talked to you, understood you … this letter wouldn’t be in my drafts, hoping that you would read this, from somewhere behind the clouds.

I love you my son. More than anything in this world or beyond.

Love,

Dad.

------

The above letter is purely fictional, thou inspired from something I read in a FB page. 

But, if ever you don’t want to write something like that to your child, better half, parents, siblings, friends or anyone near or far and save it in your drafts under the folder “Unsent Letters” … take that one step to connect with people around you. Not the now famous connect with likes or a one-word comment in a picture in FB/Whatsapp/Instagram/G+/countless other social networking sites, but in a real way. Talk to people who mean something to you, listen to them, and make sure they are happy and satisfied with their life.  

To end up your own life you need so much courage. Imagine cutting your wrist or jumping from that height or blasting up your head … doesn’t it gives a shiver down your spine just at the mere thought of these. Then think of those people who actually might have thought for days or maybe months for a way to end up their life. Those sleepless nights they might have spend hoping someone could actually see through their fake smile or listen to what they have to say. 

We never see the symptoms, or the signs people show us, in fact we ignore them knowingly. But once something bad happens, the regret is endless.  Parents’ never hear their children, children rarely open up to their parents, siblings often fail to be in touch, friends drift apart and everyone gets so busy in life that there’s no time for a second person. Not even to the one who’s living with you, shares your bed space and your life. Take some time from your busy schedule to actually be with your loved ones. Be there to hear out their fears, loneliness and just make them feel loved and wanted and secure. We can't bear losing our dear ones, then why not prevent that from happening. 

We are blogging for this cause at Write Tribe. Do read and spread the awareness. Thank You.

Unsend Letter - To Best friend...

Dear Best Friend aka Favorite Cousin,

Howdy? :D … You still have not whatsapped me your gown pic. Yea, know it has been send for alternation, but still the curiosity is bubbling like anything. We have been cousins from birth, but it took 15 years for us to know each other well and become friends best friends. And after that there was no looking back.

I seriously don’t know what to write to you, except for the same thing I have told/written to you many times. You are someone I could never replace for anything in life. You have known me right from my teenage day’s tantrums to my dovey love phase to the so-called adult stage. And should say, you are the only one I didn’t mind sharing my room with.  You are one who could take no nonsense from me when say I’m fine when I actually am in a very crappy mood. We have always as every sisters planned this and that and everything that has to done together for our weddings. Now when you are in real going to get married in less than a week, I couldn’t even toast that drink for you. Missed going for elaborate wedding shopping’s, gossip sections, freaking out moments, should-I-do-this days to everything. And I hate myself for having to miss your D-day and see how gorgeous and happy you look. Sorry for that! Sometimes circumstances and situations don’t come our way. People like you are the best gift a person could ask for in a lifetime. Someone who we are so sure to be there for anything and nothing. Someone to whom we could be so blunt with and who no matter what won’t leave your side.

Wherever you go, I’ll be always there to bug you with my, “Are you happy?” or “Idiot, I miss roaming out with you.” phrases. And you better stay so happy in life, because I can’t stand a sad You.

I miss spending time with you, especially now.

Love you tons and loads.

~S.

- A Letter A Week, hosted by Nibha -

Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Me of 16,

Awe…. It feels kind of weird writing letter to myself that too to a younger version.

Not asking how you doing, because I know at 16 you hated your school, that white and blue strips uniform and the complete different environment from the convent school you came from. But you had lots of dreams and ambitions and the urge to conquer the world. You had many friends who you know could hold your back no matter what and some are still here with me. But should warn you, that life doesn’t always turn out how you plan it. It has a mindset of its own, but influenced by our choices and walks. Never even in your dreams you would have thought that life in 10 years would be exactly opposite to what you wanted it to be now. But that's OK. Life is not always about perfection. Mistakes also play a role in it. And for your information, you’re going to screw up your boards just because you were so glued to Orkut and yahoo messenger, that got introduced to you, right before the exams. And No! Mom won’t let you take Literature/Psychology even when you get interview calls from all the colleges you applied. But in reverse, you will be accepted for Engineering even when you prayed hard not to get in. Cheers! That’s Life! 

Have you ever thought that guys are going to top your friends’ list? But it has. And do listen to them when said not to race them. Because I don’t appreciate all these scars and marks, it has caused on my hands and knees. And if you had half the stubbornness I have now, it would have benefited me. Now I have to do all the stubbornness and hear mom saying, “You were such a good girl back in school.” And stop writing all those crazy stuffs in your diary. Mom’s spying!

You will deal with love, heartbreaks, breakups, deaths and sorrows. And will actually learn the act of saying sorry and be good to others even when they are not, but obviously with an annoying face inside. And that dream of living far away from home is still a dream. Tough luck in that till date. So better, start dreaming about something else.

You are going to meet some beautiful souls in your life. Some are meant to stay for long, and some just pays a visit. However, they are going to be valuable for you for the time, memories and the lessons they taught you. So overall life is different from what you assumed but yet not so boring. There' s always a wow moment in between the crappy ones. So whatever happens just hold your head up and live Life Bindaas. I'll be here for you always, but just 9 years ahead.

Take care.
Loads of Love,
~S.

Live Life as it Comes...

Recently, happened to see the movie Premonition acted by Sandra Bullock. It’s all about her getting nightmares of her husband dying and when she comes to know that it was going to happen in real, the way she tries to stop them from happening. But everything ends in vain, as he dies despite all her efforts. But she realizes, thou she couldn’t change destiny, the tiny tot moments that we give ourselves and others were what matters than forever. And every second of life is a miracle.

There are times we wish we could change things that happened to us, turn around that clock atleast to a second so we could change all that might have destroyed us. Yes, I have thought the same for a long time. Even now at times. When I lost people to death or did something stupid or broke with friends because of sheer ego or broke that blue vase mom loved so much, I might have prayed like umpteenth times to God just to reverse time a little bit. So I could stop all this from happening. But even when I prayed so, the next thought was what’s going to happen to the rest of the world if the clock actually turned around? I wanted my death ones to come alive, but was it going to happen for others too? What about the babies born that minute? Will they go back to the womb? Shit! I cannot even imagine that, but still I want the impossible to happen.

We never know why some things happen to us. Why we fail in spite of our hard work?  Why we couldn’t touch our dreams even when we gave the best? Why we turn unlucky in a relation even when we did everything to make it work? Why people die when we are not ready to lose them? So much of whys’ and so little answers.

Some things are way beyond explanations and far beyond our understandings.

Almost a year back, got a FB friend request from a person I have seen in church. The only reason I accepted the request was it would be rude to ignore, as I was to see him every week. However, today I could say he’s one friend I become close so easily and the way we irritate each other is insane. And at the end of every conversation we ask each other religiously “Are we friends just to eat up each others’ brain?” And every time our answer will be Karma or Destiny! Ok. Now that was a bad example to quote for something like this. Still he was the first person who came to my mind while writing this.

Likewise, some questions are to be answered just by these forces. Maybe there are right in what they are doing, maybe wrong. But there’s no way we are going to find out… so just leave everything as it is… and live life miraculously with a smile for everyone and yourself. That's my two cents' worth and something I strongly believe.