A Date With Her

Woke up to her messages. 

Took the phone to the loo and chatted with her. She was all packed to take that flight away from life, at least for a while. And I am still here, questioning myself about the trip booked two days ago under alcohol influence. But the next morning everything looked so fine. Both of had enough leaves and finance also could be managed even thou wound be under tight reigns. 

We were planning this trip for years now, our sort of "Date". When career took us to two different countries across the globe from each other, the only console where planning these imaginary trips. Now it's going to be a reality. Or should I cancel the whole thing and apologize to her? No. It's too late now and she already left for the airport. 

After debating with myself for what seemed like hours, by evening I left to the airport. We were supposed to mid-way. She said she'll wait at some bookshop in the airport terminal. 

When the flight touched the ground I woke up with a jerk. Yesterday couldn't sleep a wink out of excitement, fear, and my own doubts. 

There she was with a huge bag over her shoulders browsing through the bookshelves, with earphones plugged into her iPod.

That’s how we met. Through music. Debating about my favorite song which she hated for reasons not acceptable for me and over which still we fight a lot.

It's been ages since we met.

My best friend who I haven't seen for the past 5 years. 

I’m participating in the Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge through October. #WriteBravely

Today’s Prompt – “Put your music player on shuffle or turn the radio to your fav. station. Write the post today using the song as your prompt.”

Adding this to #FridayReflections too

Not Sad, Just Empty.

These mornings I wake up with a sinking feeling in my pit. 

I feel like heavy weights been kept on my shoulders and knees. As if something is pulling me down further into the folds of bed and not allowing me to get up. I am not sad, but just empty. Still, I wake up every day, fighting the invisible demons.

Yet the mornings feel blanched. When the cold shower hits my face and body, I feel cold and tears start rolling down my eyes making it indistinguishable from the water. But once the shower stops I could literally feel the demons, frustration and irritation, creeping down my feet to the top, as if some snake is crawling.

You know what I did?

I ignored. I went my way. I made myself busy. So busy that I didn't take time to breath.

And I kept doing this.

For hours initially,

Then for days.

For months. 

Today he said my face looked drained out. Said I lost the life I had in my smile. Said that he could see lines and wrinkles and before I could mention age, he denied. I laughed off. 

But 

Is it the snake that causing me this? Did it reach my face when I kept myself busy ignoring its existence? Is it going to choke me? 

Is this how you failure feels like? 

Is it how giving up looks like?

She closed her child’s journal and sank under the bed-cover hoping for the sleep to embrace her. But the mind kept reminding her that tomorrow it’s going to be a year since she lost her child to those invisible demons.

I am taking My Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa with BlogChatter. 

This is Post #6

Don'ts of a Girl - #D

Dear Daughter,

Today let's talk about the Don’ts. In a society like ours you're going to face so many Don'ts, even for the smallest things you do. So let me give you a heads up on them …

Don't play with cars or superheroes, its dolls for you.

Don't talk too loudly, girls only talk in hushed voices.

Don’t sit with legs apart, it’s not feminine.

Don't run or jump around or do sports like boys, you’ll build muscles.

Don't wear short dresses, you're asking for it.

Don't use bold lip colors, its provocative.

Don't travel alone, esp. after dark, you’re putting yourself in danger.

Don't make friends with so many boys.

Don't be too ambitious, you should be more concerned about your family.

Don't act bold, that’s not your cup of cake.

Don't be stubborn, you will be tagged a feminist.

Don't take your own decisions, because we know better.

Don't wear jeans or such so called boy's attire, people will talk.

Don't contradict with your elders even if they're wrong, they have seen the world more.

Don't dream about a life of your own, it’s a crime.

Don't live for yourself, it’s selfish.

Don't indulge in your dreams, that a sinful leisure.

Don't raise your voice even if someone abuses you, women are supposed to tolerate.

Don't fight against people who try to destroy you, women should forgive.

Don't think you can have a peaceful, secure and carefree life, that’s not your right.

Don't …...

Don't ……

Don't ……

Because you're a girl!

My precious precious child... 

Do whatever you want to do as long as it's right for you. Live your life the way you want. You're created as a human being by the Divine Power with equal rights and freedom as he created every other man. So no one, absolutely no one has the right to tell you "No" just because of your gender. As long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong or don't have to lie you have the complete freedom to do your heart. 

Just keep in mind... If you don't have to lie or feel embarrassed/guilty about something you did, then you did the right thing.

Yours,

Me.  

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Create your Creation - #C

Dear Daughter,

You may think why I'm writing to you even before you were born and also about such trivial issues. It's because now at my late 20s I came to an understanding that all those things I thought were important till yesterday were just not. And there's much more in this world. I want you to do your share of mistakes but not fall heads down without any clue like I did.

Today I want to share about the importance of Creation. You're most powerful when you have the ability to create something. Nurture your skills to create. Whether it’s music, art, fabric, writing, pictures or anything. Take the time out to learn and be a master in the selected arena with dedication.  It’s always important to have a hobby and to make that hobby into a passion. Because at your lowest these are going to hold you up. And when you indulge in the art of creation you’re getting more close to the Divine power.

I started this blog at the lowest point in my life. This was that one place that gave me the freedom to be myself without the fear of been judged. Later on this became an essential part of me. When everything around me fails to be in my control, this is one place where I could create and be the master. And always do things for yourself and not for others. It’s your happiness and emotional satisfaction that matters most. Create for yourself, and for your happiness only and make a small part of heaven here in this world. 

Understand that, “We are all creative beings. The act of creating puts us in direct connection with the greatest creator. The master artist that is our Divine Creator.”

From,

Me.

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Wrong B's - #B

Dear Daughter,

How're you my child? What's happening in your life? All good?!

Have you reached your rebellious teenage stage where you'll be giving priority over all wrong Bs?! Butts, boobs, body and even wrong boys!

Stop obsessing over them.

You may be in that phase where you'll be wasting gallons of time in front of the mirror checking out your body and wondering why you didn't have that perfect toned butts or an hour glass. Or staring for long at the school/college beauty or some random celebrities and cursing you for not having their high cheekbones or curly thick mane or long slender limbs. Stop. Stop it right now. Stop obsessing over these mundane things.

Change your lifestyle or get some workout done if you're not happy about your body. Or else accept and start loving the whole you. But always remember it's always important to nurture a beautiful mind and character more than anything else. I and the world need a kind and good hearted human being than a gorgeous Goddess.

For one person your hair won't be perfect or your nose, for the other, your skin maybe too dark and another one may find it too fair. But what matters is your opinion about yourself. And no one, absolutely no one is worthy enough to degrade you. Always remember, no matter what the rest of the world says, you're beautiful inside out. Nurture your mind and heart and brains. That's what matters the most. 

So keep in mind,

"We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were meant to be." 

From,
Me.

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

A Woman is a Woman is a Woman - #A

Dear Daughter,

By now you may have heard and even faced so many atrocities against women kind. There are times when you feel as if the whole world is against women. So many improper things, unkindness and abuses might be happening to the fellow women around you. And there might have been a moment when you have thought that it would have been better if you were not born as a woman.

Do you know Oprah Winfrey? I hope you do. She was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother. She was molested during her childhood and early teens and became pregnant at 14; her son died in infancy. Betrayed by family and not mothered well by her own mom, she struggled all through her childhood. And from there to earn the titles like "arguably the world's most powerful woman”, "arguably the most influential woman in the world" and "one of the 100 people who most influenced the 20th Century", it couldn't have been an easy journey for her, especially been a African-American woman in 1960s.

Yet she strived.

There is something unexplored about every woman that only a woman can explore. There’s a hidden strength in you that will help you jump hurdles and walk miles alone. Being a woman means being strong, because you’ll find that your womanhood will need that strength, and when you let it, sometimes that strength will even find you. And it is the recognition of some of your weaknesses and the struggles you might have to endure while travelling through this not so perfect world.

So dear child ...

Embrace yourself. Embrace your womanhood. Be proud of yourself and strive to be a better human being every day.

So remember always, 

A woman is a woman is a woman. She can never be anything else but a woman.

From,

Me. 

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Zindagi, You're Beautiful!

‘Dear Zindagi’!

My dear Zindagi … My dear life…

What a beautiful mess you’re? What all you have taken me to? What all you have made me endure?

But you know what? I always loved you, even when I hated you. All these years we have made so many infinite moments of smiles, tears, excitement, adventure, terror, fluttering heart, tickling tummy and every emotions that’s ever discovered. From a happy-go-lucky-girl to bold-stubborn to the present, you have taken me through everything.

12 years ago, I never for once thought at 27 this is how my life would be. At 15 when life looked so hopeful, filled with so much of promises, added with confidence and anything to do attitude, I thought, Yes! This is life. This is You. No tears, worries, losses, or anything bad. Then, it was all about aiming for the stars.

But down the lane, when I started to grow, I encountered everything. From good to best, bad to worse, flickering heart to heart break. Those were the days when I lost the love I had for you. And should say it lasted for long. There were times I just wanted to leave you and run far away, but the love you had for me was so strong that you never let me leave your side.

Those happy teen years when everything was happening so routinely happy with been everyone’s favorite to taking home good grades at the end of a decade. Then college happened with new faces, new lessons, first love and twinkling eyes between college fest and internals. Everything was so sure then. Couldn’t wait to make all those plans into reality. There you caught me. Giving me that absolute jerk like you were trying to wake me up from a trance. I literally saw all my plans falling down as if they were a card castle. I blamed you for that. Only you! But you pulled me near to you with a tight hug and taught me lessons I had to learn. Lessons about failure, patience, sacrifice, endurance, kindness and moreover filled my heart with a zest for you.  For some time in the past I regretted for the mistakes I have done, for not listening to my instincts but I realize it have made me who I’m today. And I firmly believe that whatever you send my way is for good.

At 15, I exactly knew what I wanted at my 20s, 30s and so on. But at 27, I have no idea what I want tomorrow. At 15 I thought you; life was so happy and colorful like a rainbow. But now I realize, you are indeed a rainbow, and the different colors portray the different emotions and experiences in life. And now at this moment, I may not be where I wanted to be... I may not be happy with all the decisions I took... I may not be having the job I dreamed of or the people I thought will be there.

But now I know you’re all about the journey, the experiences, doing mistakes, letting go and extending one hand to shake hands with new people yet holding the other one with people from your yesterdays, dreaming about the stars and living the untold journey. And I am happy doing that holding your hands. 

Thank you for all the smiles, scars, love and warmth. I am this because you believed in me.

Thank you, Zindagi.

I know there are so much more of you for me, waiting eagerly for that.

Love,

S.

“I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagi activity at BlogAdda“

Zara ...

Her life was never a fantasy. It constantly had its ups and downs... smiles and frowns. But when he came along, Zara turned every tear into smiles.... and every frown into a grin. She loved every bit of him. His craziness, anger, beliefs, looks, arrogance and everything. In the beginning everything was blissful. But as days went, the happiness started to play hide and seek just as his mood swings. He could be a lovable person this moment and an insane man the next.

In the beginning, Zara had a numbness that allowed her to exist. Then her memory turned into images like an old silent movie, flickers of images but no detail. Now… Now she remembered details. It was like seeing fire, being burned before, knowing it will hurt, and sticking your hand in anyway. In her mind she inspected his face, his look, what did she miss, what she could have done to be there with him. Nothing.  Absolutely nothing. Thou the thought of him away from him make her incomplete, it keeps her alive. And she’s grateful for that. 

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Yanna ...

Every morning Yanna woke up before anyone did all the household chores, did everything for her husband, kids and family. And then went off for her work. But whatever she did she couldn't concentrate properly. She felt out of the world in a remote place all alone. Nothing felt right. Food didn't taste good anymore. Sleep decided to play hide and seek for long. And she was tired and angry always. Even when her four year old came to play with her she felt irritated.

Yanna knew something was wrong but she couldn't figure out what it was. And she was afraid to say anything to anyone. But when you are married to a person who's not only your life partner but also your best friend nothing goes unnoticed.

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Xena ...

She missed her bus again. And she was running late for work. “That manager is going to screw my day.” Xena thought to herself. While waiting for another bus/cab, a man pulled up next to her and offered her a ride. Thou she’s never someone to accept a ride from a stranger, this time she got in. But she didn’t knew that one mistake was going to change her life.  

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Wenda ...

Wenda, as her name depicts, was a wanderer at heart. One untamed female… who dreams about travelling and running wild. Settling down in a place and making that her home forever was not her cup of tea. Freedom and space was like fresh air for her. Without that she was not alive, but just living. But when she met a man who was strong enough to sweep her off her feet, he was complete opposite to her. She was not sure whether she wanted her untamed life or her love. She didn’t know whether love would be enough for life… or is it her freedom that’s happiness for her. 

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Veda ...

“ ……  I don’t want to live anymore … “

He was reading part of a letter he wrote 10 years ago on the same day. Then he was done with life with nothing to hope more. Everything felt so blank and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But few minutes before he was going to do the most stupid thing in his life, his girlfriend stormed into his flat and announced that she was pregnant. And now she was his wife and they are parents to a beautiful girl, Veda.

Every time he sees his daughter, he finds himself thanking his stars for sending her to his life at the right moment. And at that moment he understood that everything happens for a reason and when God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. And for him, it was his little Veda.

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Uma ...

Uma’s 8-year-old son hugged her and said, “You are the best mom in the whole entire world!” She smiled and sarcastically replied, “How do you know that? You haven’t met every mom in the whole entire world.” Uma’s son squeezed me tighter and said, “Yes I have. You are my world.”  

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Tara ...

When Tara vowed to have and to hold him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever some 30 years ago, she and the people around her had their doubts. Would she make a good partner for him? Will she able to love him no matter what? So many such queries rode through her mind. But now at this moment, she knows despite any hurdles she would never leave her man alone. Not even for a moment.

Years before he was a handsome man who swept her off her feet. Even now despite his deep map of wrinkles and thick groomed silver white mustache he was a good looking man. And his eyes were twinkling with stories of his life and memories, even when they had never seen a ray of light before. She looked at him a smiled and led him out of their house of their evening stroll through the city. 

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