Kindness - A boomerang Effect. - #K

Dear Daughter,

I believe that kindness is one of the most important virtues because it is an important basis in everyday life. It is a strong moral to have. Kindness can be giving a simple smile or helping someone cross the street. We can use this virtue in every situation. When your in a good mood and someone around you isn’t wouldn’t you like to keep your good energy and show some kindness, rather than be effected my their bad mood. Every single person in the world has the ability to choose how they treat others. We should all choose to be kind.

For me, kindness is important to give, much more than to get, because it not only gives another person the opportunity to feel better about them, it also gives me the ability to feel better about myself. Wherever you’re just keep your eyes and ears open, you never know who might be in need of you. A smile, a word, a head nod, a hug … with just these you can change a person. When you look at the world through a lens of kindness, non judgement and compassion, you would see good people. People just like you — people who want to be happy. Without the kindness of strangers you wouldn’t have food on the table or a roof over your head. Don’t forget that we are all interdependent. We can’t experience anything without each other. Allow kindness to become the natural and spontaneous response to every situation, with this increased ability to respond compassionately, true success will follow.

All around the world, there are many big-hearted individuals who practice daily acts of kindness. Patience Salgado, who is known as “kindness girl”, leaves $5 vouchers in shop backpacks for the first day of school and scrawls messages of hope on footpaths. There’s a seven-year-old girl who has raised enough money to give 700 teddy bears to hospital patients, and a group called Wake Up in Sydney who’ve sent out more than 75,000 free kindness cards to encourage random acts of kindness.  And another group of youngsters who started Letters of Love, a global initiative ensuring that thousands of refugee children, tended by the UNHCR, receive personalized New Year cards from people like you and me. And in my case, I’m part of a group who ensures education and financial help for children and family from not so sound background. And by the time you read this letter, this NGO is going to reach out thousands of children out there. Because it's my dream project. 

What I learned from an act of kindness is that never underestimate the ripple effect of your actions on the planet. And don’t underestimate the boomerang effect your actions will have on your own life; even if not immediately apparent.

Keep in mind that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

My little one, I pray, I truly pray that you're a kind-hearted soul. Kindness is one virtue a human being must possess.

Yours,

Me.

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Happiness Over Hatred - #H

Dear Daughter,

How are you in handling "hatred"? Are you the kind of person who keeps the anger inside you burning till it turns to the strong emotion hatred? 

There was a time until very recently I was such a person. I couldn't tolerate backstabbing and even now I can't. I can't tolerate broken promises. So when one does any of these I react in the most horrible way. I avoid them from my life and eventually start hating them. But one thing I didn't realize was, this hatred was making me a angry person. A bitter soul. Forgiveness was not even in the dictionary. The mere mention of that person's name could send me in flames. I was moody, frustrated and grumpy all the time. For what? For something the other person did? What did he gain? My imbalance in life. And what did I gain? Nothing. Just gave him the pleasure of his success.

Hatred doesn't end anything. It just keeps on building a negative aura around you making your soul and yourself unhappy and bitter all the time. When a person chose to do something you doesn't approve of, keep them away from your life but without any emotional baggage. They doesn't require all these attention you might be giving to them in your mind. Hatred is a very strong negative word. It doesn't do you good. But just destroys your happy soul bit by bit.

So cultivate happiness for a peaceful life and not hatred. 

Yours

Me,

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Extra can make you Extraordinary. - #E

Dear Daughter,

Have you ever noticed how the word Extra or Free on anything just brings a smile on to our face? When you get three chocolates at the price of two or 20% chips or buy one get one free promos, you feel as if your trip to the supermarket was just worth it.

Now think, what wonders an “Extra” can do in your life? An extra mile in your walk, an extra step towards your dreams, an extra ear for those who want to talk, an extra hug for those in despair, some extra time for those in need… you can be extraordinary because the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

There will many times when you would have done everything to excel in a job or studies or reaching your goal and yet failed to see the result and thinking of quitting the whole thing. But before you do that, just put one last extra step towards your goal. I am sure you’ll see amazing results. Because most of the times we give up before few miles to our destination. Never do that.

More than all this, I want you to go an extra mile in your relations with others. There are so many people in this world who’s suffering alone. You don’t have to travel around the world looking for them. Mostly they will be people around you, your near ones, acquaintances, colleagues, that stranger sitting next to you in metro or subway. It can be anyone.

Some years ago, I and my friends organized a summer camp for teenagers. And on its one year anniversary we were planning a reunion but it didn’t happen, because we couldn’t find time in our schedule. A week after that, heard a boy in that gang committed suicide because he didn’t clear some papers in his first year Engineering semester exam. And till date I feel guilty about it. I keep thinking, if we took that extra effort to do that reunion, or just called and talked to everyone or kept had personal contact he would have been still alive. If someone anyone had some extra time to console him or give him support or talk to him and make him understand that life is not all about the mere things we encounter daily but it's all about the people that are around us, the people that love us for who we are. Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear, all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.

So my child understand that,

Words are strong. Hugs are assuring. Listening is comforting. Been just there for someone can be life changing. Because all these can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.

Yours,

Me. 

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Don'ts of a Girl - #D

Dear Daughter,

Today let's talk about the Don’ts. In a society like ours you're going to face so many Don'ts, even for the smallest things you do. So let me give you a heads up on them …

Don't play with cars or superheroes, its dolls for you.

Don't talk too loudly, girls only talk in hushed voices.

Don’t sit with legs apart, it’s not feminine.

Don't run or jump around or do sports like boys, you’ll build muscles.

Don't wear short dresses, you're asking for it.

Don't use bold lip colors, its provocative.

Don't travel alone, esp. after dark, you’re putting yourself in danger.

Don't make friends with so many boys.

Don't be too ambitious, you should be more concerned about your family.

Don't act bold, that’s not your cup of cake.

Don't be stubborn, you will be tagged a feminist.

Don't take your own decisions, because we know better.

Don't wear jeans or such so called boy's attire, people will talk.

Don't contradict with your elders even if they're wrong, they have seen the world more.

Don't dream about a life of your own, it’s a crime.

Don't live for yourself, it’s selfish.

Don't indulge in your dreams, that a sinful leisure.

Don't raise your voice even if someone abuses you, women are supposed to tolerate.

Don't fight against people who try to destroy you, women should forgive.

Don't think you can have a peaceful, secure and carefree life, that’s not your right.

Don't …...

Don't ……

Don't ……

Because you're a girl!

My precious precious child... 

Do whatever you want to do as long as it's right for you. Live your life the way you want. You're created as a human being by the Divine Power with equal rights and freedom as he created every other man. So no one, absolutely no one has the right to tell you "No" just because of your gender. As long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong or don't have to lie you have the complete freedom to do your heart. 

Just keep in mind... If you don't have to lie or feel embarrassed/guilty about something you did, then you did the right thing.

Yours,

Me.  

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Create your Creation - #C

Dear Daughter,

You may think why I'm writing to you even before you were born and also about such trivial issues. It's because now at my late 20s I came to an understanding that all those things I thought were important till yesterday were just not. And there's much more in this world. I want you to do your share of mistakes but not fall heads down without any clue like I did.

Today I want to share about the importance of Creation. You're most powerful when you have the ability to create something. Nurture your skills to create. Whether it’s music, art, fabric, writing, pictures or anything. Take the time out to learn and be a master in the selected arena with dedication.  It’s always important to have a hobby and to make that hobby into a passion. Because at your lowest these are going to hold you up. And when you indulge in the art of creation you’re getting more close to the Divine power.

I started this blog at the lowest point in my life. This was that one place that gave me the freedom to be myself without the fear of been judged. Later on this became an essential part of me. When everything around me fails to be in my control, this is one place where I could create and be the master. And always do things for yourself and not for others. It’s your happiness and emotional satisfaction that matters most. Create for yourself, and for your happiness only and make a small part of heaven here in this world. 

Understand that, “We are all creative beings. The act of creating puts us in direct connection with the greatest creator. The master artist that is our Divine Creator.”

From,

Me.

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

Wrong B's - #B

Dear Daughter,

How're you my child? What's happening in your life? All good?!

Have you reached your rebellious teenage stage where you'll be giving priority over all wrong Bs?! Butts, boobs, body and even wrong boys!

Stop obsessing over them.

You may be in that phase where you'll be wasting gallons of time in front of the mirror checking out your body and wondering why you didn't have that perfect toned butts or an hour glass. Or staring for long at the school/college beauty or some random celebrities and cursing you for not having their high cheekbones or curly thick mane or long slender limbs. Stop. Stop it right now. Stop obsessing over these mundane things.

Change your lifestyle or get some workout done if you're not happy about your body. Or else accept and start loving the whole you. But always remember it's always important to nurture a beautiful mind and character more than anything else. I and the world need a kind and good hearted human being than a gorgeous Goddess.

For one person your hair won't be perfect or your nose, for the other, your skin maybe too dark and another one may find it too fair. But what matters is your opinion about yourself. And no one, absolutely no one is worthy enough to degrade you. Always remember, no matter what the rest of the world says, you're beautiful inside out. Nurture your mind and heart and brains. That's what matters the most. 

So keep in mind,

"We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were meant to be." 

From,
Me.

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

A Woman is a Woman is a Woman - #A

Dear Daughter,

By now you may have heard and even faced so many atrocities against women kind. There are times when you feel as if the whole world is against women. So many improper things, unkindness and abuses might be happening to the fellow women around you. And there might have been a moment when you have thought that it would have been better if you were not born as a woman.

Do you know Oprah Winfrey? I hope you do. She was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother. She was molested during her childhood and early teens and became pregnant at 14; her son died in infancy. Betrayed by family and not mothered well by her own mom, she struggled all through her childhood. And from there to earn the titles like "arguably the world's most powerful woman”, "arguably the most influential woman in the world" and "one of the 100 people who most influenced the 20th Century", it couldn't have been an easy journey for her, especially been a African-American woman in 1960s.

Yet she strived.

There is something unexplored about every woman that only a woman can explore. There’s a hidden strength in you that will help you jump hurdles and walk miles alone. Being a woman means being strong, because you’ll find that your womanhood will need that strength, and when you let it, sometimes that strength will even find you. And it is the recognition of some of your weaknesses and the struggles you might have to endure while travelling through this not so perfect world.

So dear child ...

Embrace yourself. Embrace your womanhood. Be proud of yourself and strive to be a better human being every day.

So remember always, 

A woman is a woman is a woman. She can never be anything else but a woman.

From,

Me. 

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 

“Letters to Dear Daughter… “

I love/hate you, Mom.

It’s said that a girl’s best friend is her Mom. But not for me.

"Mom, I love you." This is something I have never said to my mom. I think we Malayalis lack this expressing their love in words. Anyways I do. Only once I have wished my mom on her birthday in FB with a picture and an elaborate message. After that I thought, I will never ever say all this to my Mom in person, then why showing off? Then and there I stopped the FB PDA thing.

Growing up I was an NRI father's child. A small chunk of my childhood was in boarding and when I started my 10th; mom and siblings came to join me. From then us kids and mom were together. For me, Mom was always a strict Mom. Extremely strict! She would scold me like anything if I did something or if marks turned out to be low or if some teachers complained about me or if I didn't obey her words or such normal stuff. I was literally scared of her. I never said anything to her because I was scared of her reactions. It was known fact among my family that my favorite parent is my Dad. Because he never said No to me. Never raised his hands against or even scolded me. So obviously he will be my favorite. I can't remember the number of times I have written: "I hate you mom" in my diaries and scribbled it and then tore it off too. I even started my blog only because mom read my dairies and even questioned regarding the same. I was never friends or even close with my mom.

But as years passed I began to understand her. She was all alone with three kids with no family around to help. And obviously, she expected more from me since I’m the eldest. Though not all the actions and reactions were justifiable for me, most of them were. Because the way she used to yell and be angry at me made me hate her so much and kept away from her. And actually whatever stupid things I did in life was because of that.

I know my Mom loved me the most. But that realization hit me in my mid-20s. She gave me so much of freedom, trusted me like no one else. The person I’m today is all because of her. I’m so much like her. Independent, stubborn, emotional, sensitive, hyper and don’t even ask me about the way I yell when my temper tips off.

We never understand our family when we’re young. Whatever they do and say turns out to be wrong for us then and even now at times. Maybe they’re not fully right. But they always wanted the best for us. When I was going through a hell-of-a-time, when literally everyone around me misunderstood me, only my Mom was with me. No matter what, at the end of the day they are with us, even if we want or not.

I love her. I hate her. Ultimately I love her. It just goes on and off. And I believe that’s how beautifully messy a Mother-Daughter relation can be. And today I am proud of that. 

P.S. This post is inspired by Rekha's latest post. Thanks to her.  Do check out her post. 

Dear Child ...

Dear Child,

Finally!

Finally you're going to be here. Finally I'm going to get to hold you, pamper you and make you entirely mine.

It’s been a year's struggle and constant chaos of paper works. There were moments I thought I could lose you. That mere thought took away my peace and sleep for days. I have lost count of the days I have tormented God for the same and at last he heard me, like I know he could.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow we would come and take you home. I would dress you up, in that white frock and tiny shoes which I have bought the day I saw you first.

Yes. Tomorrow is the day I'll become a mom. Officially.

Love,

Me. 

Linking this to BAR-A-THON by Blog-A-Rhythm Day 5 Prompt – Tiny shoes

I killed my Child in the Future

Dear Child,

 

I'm sorry. 

I'm so sorry my dearest daughter … I'm going to kill you before giving you a chance to live.

I'm sorry for snatching away your right to live, even when you're just my dream. 

I always wanted you to be mine. Dreamt and loved you like forever now. But now I don't want you to be born in this world. Yes. I don’t! 

A world where you have to fight constantly to just live. Where you have to be vigil every minute to just breathe. 

I don't want those annoying aunties to stare at you when you chose cars and guns along with your dolls. Or give you an earful when you opt for shorts and jeans over frocks and skirts. I don't want you to be forced to have long hair just because you're a girl. 

I don't want you to worry about the world before you decide to do anything. I don't want you to live in a world where you'll be tagged as opinionated, stubborn and ruthless when you stand for yourself. Don't want you to fight and struggle against the egos of the opposite sex when you climb those ladders in your career. Nor tag you as a slut when you go for a movie or dinner with your male friend. I don't want you to be called a flirt when you prefer male friends over females. Or a whore when you chose to be sexually active. 

I don't want you to worry about been safe when you're working late. Or be told that been a girl you have to ignore those disrespectful behaviors from your boyfriend/husband/anyone. I don't want you to wake up from your sleep multiple times to ensure that you have bolted the doors and no one will intrude your privacy. I don't want you to be born in a world where suffering, forgiving and been silent is considered as the virtues of women only. A world where male strength is considered as a gift to abuse women…. No, my dear… I don’t want you to be born here.

Don’t think I’m against men; in fact I still love and move forward in life because of the men in my life. But now a day it’s rare to find such souls. And it’s not about men only. When you start living you’ll understand even some women are there to make your life terrible.  

I wanted you to be born in a world where you're respected for the human being you're. Cared for the goodness you exhibit. Appreciated for your bravery and not for the perfection others demand.   I want you to be loved for the kind nature of yours and not because you're born a Woman. 

I want you to be born in a world you deserve dear. And I promise my child, that you'll feel a lot happier and safe inside my dreams. 

Yours Always.