She was waiting in the airport terminal for more
than an hour now. His flight had been delayed, the board says. She got another
two more hours to kill alone. She felt angry. Three hours out of the 48 hours
they get. Time races as if on a F1 race when they're together. They barely meet
and then it's time to part.
They have been doing this for 15 years now. This
parallel life of 72hours.
Both of them have their own set of Giggles, smiles,
tears and sorrows at the opposite side of the globe from each other. Both of
them have made their own mark in their place. Both of them have their own set
of ideologies and opinions. Both of them doesn’t even exist in each other’s
life until when a year starts crawling to its' last month, then they collide, with so much of power. As if
their identities are invisible, their thoughts don’t float, their lives don’t breathe. They meet for 72 hours, stealing away from the world for themselves.
I am selfie person. Though I don’t share them in my FB feed 24*7; I do change my Whatsapp display picture regularly. And last week after so many months, I got some genuine comments from friends and cousins saying that I look my old self with a happy smile that reached my eyes.
If someone told me some years ago, that today I was sitting in a pothole of emotions surrounded by so many queries about life itself, I might have mocked them. I was a person who had her perfect plan for life mapped out right from the age of 12. I knew what I wanted to do, I knew where I wanted to live, knew when not to fall in love, I knew which all countries I wanted to explore, knew the kind of house I wanted, I knew when to get married, how many kids I wanted, even had my retirement plans planned out. But none, absolutely none, worked out. To start with, I didn’t study what I wanted to (now I am), didn’t change cities when I wanted to, found love and lost, married at the wrong time and the wrong soul, my need of house changed to home, idea of parenthood changed, my perception for exploring changed, my opinion about life itself changed.
And all these took a toll on me.
Initially faced with adversities, I fought silently and came out of it with stronger wings and strength. I had this “I don’t care, it’ll be alright” attitude in me. The moment I lost it, I lost myself. I lost my happiness and basked in insecurities.
But recently something snapped inside me. I was all set to close down the unwanted chapters and people in my life, but that also didn’t work out as planned. That moment, I came to understand no matter what I do, no matter how much I stress out about my tomorrow’s, it will just happen as it is meant to. The amount of stress I give as input is not going to result in a better output. Infact it’s just ruining my present.
And last week after reading Corine’s Monday musings, it just cemented by my thoughts. The realization that what you do, how much you worry, tomorrow will definitely take care of itself. You don’t have to do much; you don’t have to worry much. You just have to do whatever to have to do today. And tomorrow will happen. Just like that. Stop worrying and start living.
My life is full of chaos at the moment. But I am ok and I am happy.
Have
you ever noticed how the word Extra or Free on anything just brings a smile on
to our face? When you get three chocolates at the price of two or 20% chips or
buy one get one free promos, you feel as if your trip to the supermarket was
just worth it.
Now
think, what wonders an “Extra” can do in your life? An extra mile in your walk,
an extra step towards your dreams, an extra ear for those who want to talk, an
extra hug for those in despair, some extra time for those in need… you can be
extraordinary because the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that
little extra.
There
will many times when you would have done everything to excel in a job or
studies or reaching your goal and yet failed to see the result and thinking of
quitting the whole thing. But before you do that, just put one last extra step towards
your goal. I am sure you’ll see amazing results. Because most of the
times we give up before few miles to our destination. Never do that.
More
than all this, I want you to go an extra mile in your relations with others. There are so
many people in this world who’s suffering alone. You don’t have to travel
around the world looking for them. Mostly they will be people around you, your
near ones, acquaintances, colleagues, that stranger sitting next to you in
metro or subway. It can be anyone.
Some years
ago, I and my friends organized a summer camp for teenagers. And on its one
year anniversary we were planning a reunion but it didn’t happen, because we
couldn’t find time in our schedule. A week after that, heard a boy in that gang
committed suicide because he didn’t clear some papers in his first year Engineering
semester exam. And till date I feel guilty about it. I keep thinking, if we
took that extra effort to do that reunion, or just called and talked to
everyone or kept had personal contact he would have been still alive. If someone
anyone had some extra time to console him or give him support or talk to
him and make him understand that life is not all about the mere things we
encounter daily but it's all about the people that are around us, the people
that love us for who we are. Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear,
all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an
understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.
So my child understand that,
Words are strong. Hugs are
assuring. Listening is comforting. Been just there for someone can be life changing.
Because all these can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than
life is good.
Yours,
Me.
I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme ....
It’s
already a week into the New Year. And I honestly don’t know how I’ll describe
last year. It has been really really long. It was not one of the worst, but
yes, not the best. Some life changing decisions where taken, my blogging and
reading took a backdrop, and my social circle got minimized yet some really close
ones made sure to stay near, yet I had some of the best moments, like that beautiful sunrise in a new place.
As each
year pass by, I recognize my inner strength, my zest for life, my aspiration
for happiness and freedom. I realize that the more I try to move away from myself
the more my inner Goddess pulls me in.
What a
beautiful mess you’re? What all you have taken me to? What all you have made me
endure?
But you
know what? I always loved you, even when I hated you. All these years we have
made so many infinite moments of smiles, tears, excitement, adventure, terror, fluttering
heart, tickling tummy and every emotions that’s ever discovered. From a
happy-go-lucky-girl to bold-stubborn to the present, you have taken me through everything.
12
years ago, I never for once thought at 27 this is how my life would be. At 15
when life looked so hopeful, filled with so much of promises, added with
confidence and anything to do attitude, I thought, Yes! This is life. This is
You. No tears, worries, losses, or anything bad. Then, it was all about aiming
for the stars.
But
down the lane, when I started to grow, I encountered everything. From good to
best, bad to worse, flickering heart to heart break. Those were the days when I
lost the love I had for you. And should say it lasted for long. There were
times I just wanted to leave you and run far away, but the love you had for me
was so strong that you never let me leave your side.
Those
happy teen years when everything was happening so routinely happy with been
everyone’s favorite to taking home good grades at the end of a decade. Then
college happened with new faces, new lessons, first love and twinkling eyes
between college fest and internals. Everything was so sure then. Couldn’t wait
to make all those plans into reality. There you caught me. Giving me that
absolute jerk like you were trying to wake me up from a trance. I literally saw
all my plans falling down as if they were a card castle. I blamed you for that.
Only you! But you pulled me near to you with a tight hug and taught me lessons I
had to learn. Lessons about failure, patience, sacrifice, endurance, kindness
and moreover filled my heart with a zest for you. For some time in the past I regretted for the
mistakes I have done, for not listening to my instincts but I realize it have
made me who I’m today. And I firmly believe that whatever you send my way is
for good.
At 15,
I exactly knew what I wanted at my 20s, 30s and so on. But at 27, I have no
idea what I want tomorrow. At 15 I thought you; life was so happy and colorful
like a rainbow. But now I realize, you are indeed a rainbow, and the different
colors portray the different emotions and experiences in life. And now at this moment, I may
not be where I wanted to be... I may not be happy with all the decisions I took...
I may not be having the job I dreamed of or the people I thought will be there.
But now
I know you’re all about the journey, the experiences, doing mistakes, letting go and
extending one hand to shake hands with new people yet holding the other one
with people from your yesterdays, dreaming about the stars and living the
untold journey. And I am happy doing that holding your hands.
Thank
you for all the smiles, scars, love and warmth. I am this because you believed in me.
Thank you, Zindagi.
I know there
are so much more of you for me, waiting eagerly for that.
If only
… If I had … If it was … If … If … … it goes on like this.
Is there
anyone out there in the world who has not wondered, even once that they would
have done this, or achieved something or gone somewhere or anything of that
sort IF only everything went the way they dreamt?
Why
there’s always an IF in front of your dreams? Why we have to have everything
ready on our plates before we step forward to do something? Are we scared of
failures or don’t we believe ourselves? Or we just don’t want to take any risks
to achieve our dreams?
I want
to solo travel around the world. If I had ample finance for that, or if convincing
my parents were not that hard, or if I could take a long break from work, I
might go for my dream trip.
I want to open a Book Café in my hometown. Again
finance. If my place of residence where same as my hometown. What if my book café
will not succeed …
Like
that for every dream of mine … there’s a lot of IFs …
I know I could tackle
all this, if I want, if I truly, dearly, whole-heartedly want. But somehow,
something and all is stopping me.
But
just think, if I just go for all this… awe! So much of happiness nah?
All of
us are somewhat like this. We keep on postponing our dreams and likes for
something or the other. Maybe time, money, family, society, peace or no reason
at all. We can’t do anything when everything comes in place. We’ll have to put
some things in place forcefully or else all that we want to achieve will just
remain in our bucket list itself, forever.
I miss
those Saturdays when I tossed away my blanket and run right to the hall, switch
on my favorite channel and snuggled in my favorite sofa. Or those days when I could
fake a stomach ache just because I didn’t feel like going to school. Actually I
never did that. I loved going to school. And if by any chance I didn’t want to
go, mom allowed me to stay back. Or crying the day before my Geography exam because
I had so much to study and just a few hours and then mom says it ok if you
flunk write whatever you know (That was the only time she was cool about
flunking L). And the happiness
when the scores came, for I actually did a good job. Or eagerly waiting for the
summer holidays, so I could fly to Dad and be with him for whole two months. Or
days hours I went on a hunger strike because I wanted a computer. Or the
board exam fear. Or the phone calls from my best friend the night before the
exam to do that last minute combine studies. Or the moments when J and I
exchanged those Sidney Sheldon books which were paper wrapped because we were
still too young to read them. Or the day when mom forcefully made me do a
confession to our Priest when I questioned my Christian beliefs after reading
Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. Or the hours spend in school library bunking Hindi
lectures. Or the hard work done in organizing a Science Expo or a school event
and the fun we had and blunders we did. Or mimicking the accent of the new
North Indian Nuns not knowing that eventually we’ll also be speaking in that
very same accent. Or been melodramatic about the farewell and the first saree. Or
that rainy last day of school when I roamed around the premises, cherishing all
the nook and corners with my best friend.
I miss
those innocent days of childhood. Then it was more of living but now it’s more
of surviving.
But I
am grateful for those days of wonder years. They still make me smile and taught
me to see dreams.
So what
was your wonder years like? Do share the fun and happy moments.
Ryan
- the female heart throb, single child to sophisticated and loving parents,
artist, MNC professional and a very passionate human being. Life was good to
him in all ways. He had brain, looks and luck n his side and he too did
whatever it did to make it more beautiful. But sometimes it takes only a second
to change everything in the picture perfect life. His mom looked at his
photograph and let out a tear. Today it was a year since he left this world.
When everything was going happily, just an accident can ruin it. She was lost
in thoughts when the calling bell rang for the third time.
“Mom!!...
Where were you? I have been ringing the bell for long.”
“Sorry
dear… I just dozed off…” … she said hugging Varun. The boy who gave meaning to
her life now. Who called her mom just the way her son did and to who’s life
Ryan added so many colors by donating his eyes. The eyes which she loved so
much, the smile Ryan had in his eyes when he hugged her, the twinkle when he
was up to some pranks, or the anger it showed…
she missed her son so much. Even now she did. But seeing Varun with the
very same twinkle and a cheerful smile she felt so near to her own son.
…
We
will be missed when we leave this place behind. But that’s something we could
do nothing to change. Then why not, leave an everlasting impression in someone
else’s life by giving them a chance to enjoy life as we did. By gifting them
our organs to see, feel and live in this world as we did.
There
are precisely 7.8 million people who are blind India, and 7.43/1000 population are
dying in an average every year. If, half of them gave donated their eyes, we
could be able to erase some darkness from this world and brought so much more
colors.
And thousands of heart patients who are waiting for a heart transplant and double the accidents. Why not bring a smile to another person’s life by giving them a
chance to experience some normal heartbeats?
Likewise…
so many more who are in need of an organ or another and waiting patiently,
hopefully to live a normal healthy life. Gift a person a life, that’s the best
thing you could do after you take your last breathe. He will definitely be
remembering you the rest of his life with so much of love and gratitude. What
more you want, after leaving this world?
Twenty years ago, when Priya first stepped into Shishu-Bhavan she was not sure about what she was doing. All sort of questions and doubts were pondering in her mind. But the moment she laid her eyes on the beautiful two year old with twinkling eyes and a naughty smile nothing felt more right.
And after some hours of formalities, Pari became her daughter. And Priya in course of time bloomed into a beautiful mom under the shadow of her child's smile.
Life is beautiful. I admit, it has its ups n downs… and I have seen it… and would say right now 'm standing at the downhill of my life. But still living life to the fullest and enjoying each and every moment is a blessing.
Usually small small things makes a person genuinely happy. And for me too its no different. And my little moments of joy are...
Waking up in the morning to find myself smiling for unknown reasons even to me.
Mom made coffee waiting only for me n ma favorite cup.
Morning nd night wishes from ma dearios.
Roaming around te city at night.
Been in the beach ….. alone or with a person who finds beach as intriguing as I do.
Getting a call from a friend at the most unexpected tym. J
RAIN. COFFEE. BOOK JJJ.
Waking up and realizing I still have a few hours left to sleep.
Reaching into a forgotten pocket or bag and finding money I didn't know I had.
Hearing my favorite song .
Making someone smile.J
An unexpected compliment .
Reading a good book.
Getting to meet friends.
Chocolates.J
Lying on the terrace and staring up at the night sky.
Someone saying they Miss me.
When my brother says m the best sis. (this happens only once in a blue moon.)
Seeing SRK(Indian Actor) on-screen. :D
Dreaming.
A late night hot shower.
Going through my huge collection of Photographs.
Smile of my niece. J
Accidently hearing someone saying nice about me.
Having a happy time.
Seeing my messy room CLEAN.
Having a heart to heart talk.
Ice-cream on a rainy day.
Plugging-in my headsets and hearing songs at the loudest.
A hug when m low.
Fresh Flowers.
Writing.
As someone said, Just open your eyes and see the beauty of life. Life is Beautiful. Enjoy. :)
