Life is about living not fearing...

I have always thought, I was never afraid of  anything. I was am a tomboy who is ready to try anything new or different. I am not afraid of heights or darkness. I never had stage fright or meeting new people. I was not afraid of exams thou when results are to be announced I could feel my butterflies waking from their sleep in my tummy. But that’s normal! Years of boarding life, made me love hostel life, so no fear in moving away from family too. I love speed and no amounts of accidents, or bruised knees or arms could keep me away from riding my two-wheeler or car. I thought I was scared of cockroaches, but 12^th grade Biology practical’s forced me to catch them alive, drug them and dissect them. And to my horror I was good in that and I loved doing that! So there ended my cockroach fear too.

Pic Credits: Google Images

So there I was living gloriously thinking that I don’t have fear for anything. But that came to end when I realized that I was afraid to get hurt emotionally. When life is going very happily and eventfully with friends and close ones as any other normal college going girl, with a pinch of “everything is perfect no one can make it imperfect attitude”, I lost a dear friend of my in an accident. And that was a blow to my arrogance. That made me conscious that life is not predictable. Anything can happen to you, me or the person next door. His going away, made me realize that I, who thought was not afraid of anything, was actually dreading his absence. I was not ready to accept the person who was with you this moment would never be visible again. I couldn’t accept that he won’t be there when we organize a reunion after 10 years. I took that fact so deeply and started to withdraw from everyone. I was in an impression that, if you’re not close to anyone, no one can hurt you. I literally closed down myself, and kept everyone at a safe distance.

Like someone said, God always have his own ways to do something, and that will be weirdest way ever. When I thought no one or nothing could hurt me if I stayed away from people, God proved me wrong in the most unacceptable way. I lost yet another friend of mine to death. And that was one hard blow to my head. I was hurt like before. Maybe more, thinking that I could have made much more memories with this one, if only I had permitted myself. When we buried him, I buried my stay-away-stay-happy attitude too. Now I know, no matter what you do, no matter how you live your life, people come and go in your life. Some are just meant to stay for a while, and some for long. However, when each person leaves you by choice or by chance, you will feel sad or deeply hurt. And you’ll definitely miss that person. But if you chose to live the time you had with that one happily, making memories and do what you want, then you are making yourself and the other person happy too.

Today I am not afraid of losing people, because I know when they move away from my life, I have given them some memories of “us” to take with them. That thought itself, makes me happy today. Like they say "Dhar ke aage jeet hai" .... and happiness too. 

   Pic Credits: Google Images

This post is written for  Indiblogger's prompt "Rise Above Fear"  By Mountain Dew. 
#RiseAboveFear

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

If someone asks me this question my spontaneous reply would be, “Me? Noway! I’m not afraid of anything.” … But in actual there are lot of things which make me back out of things I want to do, or want to go for. For instance been afraid to say No to people I love. I can’t do that. How much I try, hoe stubborn I may turn to be… at the end I just give up. There are times I have thought, “If only I was a bit more rebel in some situations, I would have moved on with saying a No.” But sometimes saying that two letter words requires so much of courage and strong hearted, which I certainly lack. Maybe as I age up, might gain this too. Fingers crossed!

I am afraid to face certain demons of my life. Which if once faced courageously, would leave me forever. I know that very well, but the fear factor is so high that I ignore the good side of getting those demons out of life. I haven’t yet reached that part of life, where I could say at certain situations, “Let anything happen, I don’t care.”

When these two phobias of mine leaves me, or when I grow up to achieve these qualities life would be much more easier. But life doesn't come with a manual or an instructional video. We are bound to find the best ways to make life happen for us. And I believe, all these are part of that. And I’m still trying to find out the best way to tackle life. And once I do that, I’ll be kicking all these fears of mine goodbye forever. 

This is part of the Blog Carnival that's been kicked off in Corinne's blog, Everyday Gyaan.