It's been days since I wrote something here. Everyday I open up this space of mine, feel proud of myself for this, then when I move towards the 'New Post' page I just stare at the screen and the blinking cursor ready to move in accordance with my words. Time flies... but nothing... absolutely no words, no verses, nothing comes. Failed and tired, I just close the whole tab and shuts down my laptop.
The days were hectic and tired. Emotionally. Everything seemed to be disturbing or wrong. Many were misunderstood, many were read incorrectly, many were hurt and sad. Was away for a couple of days and it was entirely different from my usual breaks. Never had the usual hangouts, celebs, noises or anything. Was a silent getaway from the crowd and that silence is still prevailing very loudly somewhere in me.
Uncertainty in life certainly makes a person think wider, broader and analyse oneself more closely to see his own words and deeds. I wished I had followed my heart in the past rather than the crowd. I wished I had the courage to face the not so good scenes. And in between I was entitled a fine of QR 500 for using mobile while driving. Crap! And at this point when the money rate has been rocketing like never before. And the funniest part is the way a police car came out of nowhere just to fine me. Dad and Mom still doesn't know that I was fined for mobile usage. Courtesy my speed! Yeah, I know am a lousy driver. Big Deal!
And last days I was kinda practicing social hibernation! And very soon all my friends are gonna kick me dead. Saw Chennai Express and I was actually sad that I didn't enjoy the Block office hit that much. The only highlight was seeing SRK onscreen for straight two hours. One of my bestie is gonna throw away her bachelorette title and is gonna be Mrs in 10 days and I'll miss everything.
Is life all about missed occasions, opportunities, relations and uncertainties? Or is it the never ending thought process of mankind making these normal scenarios of everyday life exaggerated? I wish I had the capability to see the tomorrows.
P.S. I know all these doesn't make any sense or syn with each other. But at the moment this is how I feel. Completely disorientated mind!
P.S.S. Just some random ramblings to fill up the vacuum here.
God Blez all the randomness in Us.
Randomness has it's own sense of order- doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteGuess, it has....
DeleteSometime i too feel like that way .. i know it feels so disgusting have that kind of feelings .. bur sometime randomness has its pleasure i guess .. good to see you back :) .. rs 500 did they charge that much now ??
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteIf it was Rs 500 I would a let out a sigh of relief! It's 500 in Riyal, which comes to 8000 Rs at present! :( I know I should be kicked for this!
that amount too much .. :(
DeleteIt does make sense. i go through such feeling and blog breaks often. Don't worry this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteWe are like this so much na? I mean, the way our brain works, the opposite way in which our brains go off. Don't fret, I know you will be fine very soon.. As for the fine, you know what they say, money comes and goes. If you value the person whose call you picked more than the 500QR, I'm sure you would feel so much better. Then again, was it not you following the heart and not the rules? ;) You're a strong girl and I know it.. hang in there... hugs to you dear
ReplyDelete