Heart Prints

A stack of old books came into her way while dusting their room. It was his. While shuffling through the books, she came across a book wrapped completely, as if he was afraid that the words will fly out if kept unbound. 

Out of curiosity she ripped opened it to reveal a diary, showing snippets of writings in bold messy letters.

Today I saw a woman, 

With a mind that leaves butterflies in your soul. 

                    You just have to feel her presence once to remember her forever.    

               

She turned to next page

Today I saw her again, and she smiled at me.

The intoxicating, whiskey sipping, skinny dipping smile.

Then next...

I feel as if she had magnets in her bones, for the iron in my blood. 

The strength with which she pulls me towards her,

 Just with her eyes is unbelievable.

Then to another....

Even before she looked at me, 

I had begun our forever, 

Though she didn’t have any idea about that.

And ….

I want to fly

I want to live wild

To explore the unknowns

To walk the strange roads

She said ….

But she didn’t ask me to accompany her.

Is this an abrupt end to my forever?

Were the last lines …

After reading through all his writing she felt a pang of jealousy inside her, but yet she couldn’t restrict herself from smiling, to know that underneath the stranger she married, there is a man who has sailed through love and had strong heart prints in him. And now it’s up to her, to give rebirth to the poet in him.

Snippets Courtesy: Atticus

I’m participating in the Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge through October. #WriteBravely

Today’s Prompt – “Heart prints”

 Adding this to #MondayMusings too

A Compliment ...

In school, the teacher told me to keep quiet

And stop complaining even though

The sweet boy next to me was bullying me

The principal in my college told me

To shut my mouth and enlightened me that ragging

Is a must for mental strength

My boss demanded to prove myself multiple times

For that promotion I deserved

When my male colleague was handed that in a jiff

At the age of 24 I was forced to see men

So that could they could judge me, mark me

And weigh me against dowry

At 25 I was told by in-numerous aunts, uncles and neighbors

It’s high time to find a man to protect me because

Society doesn’t have the heart to hold single girls of 25+

At 27 I became a spoilt girl when

Decided to walk out of a marriage

They said emotional abuse was nothing

All these people had one thing in common

Even though the situations varied

Scenarios changed

Personalities differed

All these people had one thing to say

One compliment to make me smile

That I was Disobedient.

I’m participating in the Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge through October. #WriteBravely

Today’s Prompt – “Disobedience”

Adding this to #MondayMusings too

Patterns can be Wrong.

Settling down into the favorite corner of my couch, with the television running in mute, laptop on and a browser open with YouTube playing a song, I am desperately thinking about what to write on the prompt “Patterns”.

This has been my life for some time now. Late nights are usually slouched in the couch; with reading or a movie. I tend to stay up till really late even when I’m dead tired. And mornings are a rush to join the run and to make sure not to fall out of the race. There are times, when the question ‘what’s the purpose of life’ starts screaming on my face with big capital letters and a huge question mark.

If asked, whether I am happy at the moment, I would say partially. I love what I am doing. But … yes, there are so many buts to it. I gave up so much of dreams and aspirations and self being for this, which shades down the happiness.

I am scared to take the big foot and step out into the world.

I am scared to hurt the dear ones.

I am scared to follow my heart not at the fear of failure but at the fear of giving the unexpected to the expected minds.

I am scared to break the pattern I have created even when it tires me out.

I am scared but I know I am strong enough to do anything my heart sets in. It just … might take some more nights and cajoling and threatening myself.

One thing I have learned is that, after a while of living, a pattern sets in. But it’s up to you whether you admire the design or redraw the whole thing, adding more colors and lines and erasing some lines here and there, if needed.

Don't ever settle down for the wrong patterns in life. 

What’s the pattern of your life? Have you ever wished to redraw it?

I’m participating in the Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge through October. #WriteBravely 

Today’s Prompt – “Pattern”

Adding this to #MondayMusings too

Home.

Home?!

The place where I spend my childhood

The room that saw me evolved into a woman from a little one

The pillows that caressed my broken heart’s tears

The white curtains that let inside the breeze of joy into me

And ever changing colors of wall that let out my mood

The veranda which let me be intoxicated with the smell of fresh earth

Is that my home?

Or

Is it the place where I learned to rise back after a fall?

Land which taught me to survive without friends or even foes

Abode where loneliness was welcomed as a long lost friend

Opportunities which waited for me to embrace

Busy-ness which offered a pseudo invisibility

Mundane routines which make me yearn for weekends

Is this land away from my native, my home?

There are times when the contrasts of both places frustrates me

Yet I find peace in all these chaos 

But which one is home to me?

These days I feel at home in some moments

In some people and in some memories

These days I feel at home in my laughter

In my ambitions and in my happiness

These days I find home in myself.

Linking this to #MondayMusings at EveryGyaan

&

I am taking My Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa with BlogChatter. This is Post #2

Be Present ... This Moment.

Yesterday while rummaging through some old picture folders in my PC came across my betrothal and marriage pictures. There were just few pictures which I actually liked, the rest of them were all mandatory family and couple pictures. I'm not blaming the photographer. I was not a very cooperative bride. I was busy doing or arranging stuffs for both the functions either with my eyes or hands or emotions or mind. 

I cannot even remember a moment I felt relaxed or happy or enjoying the moment. During my betrothal's reception, I was worried whether everything will be fine. Whether the cake will reach at the right time? Will everyone like the decor? Will the food be enough? I forgot to take picture alone with my brother, best friend or even parents. When it was time to get my single pictures, I was busy settling the hotel and decor bill. 

During marriage it was just one moment, which the truth of 'I'm getting married' actually struck me, the moment before he was tying the knot. Till then, I was like this bouquet is heavy, I told them I wanted a light weight one and still they gave me this. Gosh, these heels are killing my feet. My veil!. OH! Yea should smile. Then then lighting stricked and I was like. What the hell am I doing here? Who's this guy standing next to me? Am I doing the wrong thing? Do he even know me? And even before I finished thinking the marriage was done, and the priest was blessing us to have 100 kids. 

Then everything in the reception was dizzy. A saree which refused to sit still, some guests who wanted time to tease the newlyweds and a picture, others who expected me to remember them from my baby years, friends whom I wanted to just take away to some faraway place and just have some wine, but just got time for a hug, music which everyone applauded and I didn't even notice. Everything was like a mirage.

I can't remember …

One moment I was utterly happy.

One moment where I was at ease.

One moment where I didn't think about anything else but me.

One moment where I believed everything was just fine and I could let out that breath I was holding.

One thing I learned from this is, what matters is your happiness. No matter what you do, if you are not happy or if you fail to enjoy the moment then everything else is absolute nonsense. 

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” 
― Maya Angelou

Linking this with #MondayMusings by EverydayGyaan

Break Some Rules.

Have you ever thought, “Hell No, I’m done with these rules!”? I have.

Plenty of times.

Two days ago I was talking about the same with a friend of mine about how I am with some rules and restrictions that tags along with them.  I am not a person or never being one of them who could break rules just like that even when I have such an image.

Initially, I try to obey them, then when the rules starts to choke me, I bend them a bit to have that air space and finally when I’m breathless I break them!

I was am (not sure anymore), tagged as a rebel, tom-boy and stubborn. I took the life transformative decisions in haste or rather gave up to my parents. And no, they didn’t impose any of them on me. They asked my opinion and I just let them have their way. But one thing I discovered rather late was that I never gave upon my decisions or likes. I just weighed my opinions as secondary, and acted slowly.

But,

When I decided my happiness were way more important than others, I was breaking the selfless rule.

When I decided that my integrity was far worthy than any relation, there I broke a rule.

When I chose not to wear the *nishaani’s of marriage to please the public, I broke the good-wife rule.

When I befriended more males than females, I broke the nice-girl rule.

When I decided to walk-out of life-ruining situations, I was labeled as an arrogant lady and there I broke a rule.

When I dismayed to be silent against the obscenities of a man, I was breaking the **adarsh Bhartiya naari rule.

When I raised voice against the lies and embarrassment one bestowed upon me, I was the breaking the compromise rule and ‘girls don’t raise their voice’ rule.

This rule … That rule

Blah blah blah!

There are going to be millions to tag you, label you, poke you even drag you down when you break some nonsense rules and start thinking and acting the way you wish to. But just keep in mind, that none of them are walking in your shoes. Only you, you alone will understand your path and will be able to make decisions for you.

Don’t give up that right of yours for anything and anyone.

So go on… Break some rules.

For your …

Happiness … Freedom … Life …

And for yourself.

You’ll be fine. Actually, more than fine. 

* nishaani’s of marriage  - Signs of marriage like wedding ring.

** adarsh Bhartiya naari – Ideal Indian Woman

Read Ishitaa's Blogpost too on Break Some Rules, You will be fine.  I got this post idea from her's. 

Linking this to #MondayMusings at EveryGyaan