Home.

Home?!

The place where I spend my childhood

The room that saw me evolved into a woman from a little one

The pillows that caressed my broken heart’s tears

The white curtains that let inside the breeze of joy into me

And ever changing colors of wall that let out my mood

The veranda which let me be intoxicated with the smell of fresh earth

Is that my home?

Or

Is it the place where I learned to rise back after a fall?

Land which taught me to survive without friends or even foes

Abode where loneliness was welcomed as a long lost friend

Opportunities which waited for me to embrace

Busy-ness which offered a pseudo invisibility

Mundane routines which make me yearn for weekends

Is this land away from my native, my home?

There are times when the contrasts of both places frustrates me

Yet I find peace in all these chaos 

But which one is home to me?

These days I feel at home in some moments

In some people and in some memories

These days I feel at home in my laughter

In my ambitions and in my happiness

These days I find home in myself.

Linking this to #MondayMusings at EveryGyaan

&

I am taking My Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa with BlogChatter. This is Post #2

My City. My Home.

I love going to places but uprooting to another soil on a permanent basis…. Aaah???

For most of my life I have been here, in Kerala...

My school and college days were in this city. Even thou I never admitted my love for this place, and had got bored of its lack of entertainment and hang outs am so in love with this city. Its here I was born, grownup, educated, loved, dreamed, shattered, gained, lost and everything that matters in my life till date happened in this very city. This is not my home town. I was just a visitor. But now this is my home. 

My Love, My Heart and My Soul.

Now when I uprooted myself from here to a strange familiar world, I felt lost. 

I always enjoyed the tag of an NRI I got from my peers even when I was very much RI (Residing Indian). But excluding all those vacations enjoyed with KFC’s, Pizzas and Chocolates I was always here.

I always wanted to move to somewhere far away from everyone. But when the time came to pack up and flew... my mind backed off.

  

Maybe……

Coz I am not what others think I am.

Coz I m scared of changes.

Coz……….

Changes are inevitable but …….

I ‘m gonna miss my place like anything.

I ‘m gonna miss all those hangouts where I watered my solitude and thoughts.

Night rides to meet the silent nature.

Waves who kisses on my feet when I say bye.

The untouchable moon and the shore who saw my smiles, tears and loneliness.

Fairgrounds where I loitered around.

Sneak outs with sibling to satisfy an irresistible need for ice creams. 

Dream world which saw the real me right from my growing days.

Hideout with its divinity or so called second home.

People who are just kilometers apart now will be seas apart soon.

But above all 

I would miss those frequent visits to the people I miss most and wish were still in my life.

I would miss being with them and giving them flowers on their and my special days.

I didn't know what I was dreading about….

The changes or the future or maybe even the past?

But life has to move on.... 

And it did move on...even after I came here in Middle East...

Even thou I miss my home, I started loving my new home. :)

                         Linking this to Jan 2014 Ultimate Blog Challenge & NaBloPoMo.

 

To read posts by fellow friends and UBC and NaBloPoMo participants, click here Jairam,Kajal, Kathy, Michelle, Nabanita, Richa, Suzy Que,Shilpa.

Happy Onam :)

Today is Onam. In and around my hometown. Our King Maveli who was sent deep in to the earth's womb would be coming up to visit his people. Everyone will be welcoming him with the best foods, clothes, flowers , happy minds and Smiles.

Onam, the most celebrated festival in Trivandrum … The traffics, traditional attire, pookalam, food fest, trade fair and mini-amusement park in the Kanakakkunne Palace premises, the illuminated trees and walk ways … ...

 The festy times like these makes me realize that ‘m seriously in a foreign country, where everything and everyone is foreign. Being here away from home, i miss the craziness of Trivandrum.

 But where ever u are, the harvest festival will definitely make u happy and smiling.

P.S. Happy Onam to all near, dear and far ones. Enjoy to the fullest.

God Blez. 

A peek into an Awesum Flashback.

One night in the month of March 2012, when we were having our random conversation of “How to make a difference”, the topic changed to the more obvious area of MCYM (Malankara Catholic Youth Movement). We wanted to do something new from the usual routines, wanted to try out something out of the box (we were kind of jobless at that moment)…. And the talks lead to the idea of a Personality Development residential camp for kids from high school (know it’s not an out of the box idea, but standing at the position we were then, it was something entirely out of the universe).

We both were more than stupid to move forward with the idea, inspite of not having any financial support, human resource or the knowledge in this area other than some friends and our Director.  

A whole month was given for this. The plan was sketched and re-sketched, name was searched from local books to dictionary to internet,  brochure was designed and printed, re-designed and printed. Venue was searched, menu was fixed and changed and fixed.
Everything was been done a 100 times, but each time learning something new.

Ads were given, brochures were distributed. Cousins and family friends’ kids were brain washed or more over forced to register.

Then the wait was on….. for the public response.

The first call!!! The smile and excitement it gave me is undefined. For the first time I felt, ‘This is gonna happen’. Because convincing parents that we the youth are gonna handle their children and gonna develop their personality in a five day camp was a challenge, and a greater challenge when the parents considered us as KIDS!!!!!!!

After that, days became longer and nights became days. And I was never seen in my own house before 9pm and after 9am, which made my initially over supportive mom to chant, “You’re a grown up GIRL, and not a BOY to roam around at this time of night”. Due to this constant reminder of hers we were forced to shift the meeting place to my house.

After giving a month of our time for this, the D-day came. 

Kids actually came to the venue with their bags and stuffs and that too even before us. Anything else needed to make us happy?

Thus,

Manana 2012 officially started. With 37 children.

And it was one hell of a week.

Days, when we slept at 3 and waked at 5am, that too, without the ear throbbing sound of the alarm… when we, ourselves who needed someone to look after us, actually took care of all the 37… when we  bothered about their health and food more than ours… when we did everything to make them happy and secure… when we became suddenly mature enough to be their Chettans and Chechies… when we had to go to hospital twice in 5 days, and when the Vicks toffees were handed out in tons... and when we truly lived like One Very Big Happy Family.

Scoldings, peer fights, fun, ego, smiles, tears, personal issues, stubbornness, fear, tension, home sickness….. You name it…. You could find there.  

Even we, the so called big ones were not bad enough. We had our bit of everything… from fighting, teasing, going for a walk around the campus after sane hours, sharing our life stories with a Maaza under a banyan tree to the night shopping to Big Bazaar for our mid night snacks…. We were definitely having fun.

Finally, the last night….. when these little ones started letting out their tears with, “We want more days”, “We will miss our friends”. The moment of ultimate satisfaction.

YES!!!. This was a success!!!.  

The night was spend with taking photographs, exchanging numbers, promising to meet in Facebook, anthaksharis, mimics and everything they could come up with.

The final day….!!!! When everyone packed their bags and was ready to leave, we promised and hoped to keep in touch and to meet the same gang with some new members the next year. 

I don’t know whether every child benefited from this, but ‘m sure at least one did.

At least one learned to share, to be happy with what they have, to feel blessed, to be confident, to appreciate others, to speak out without fear, to live out of their parents wings, to understand that people do care for them, the sweetness of relation, the feeling of missing each other,  and ultimately, to love and to be there for one another.

Because we personally did all this when we were trying to teach you, little ones.

The relations, the people around you, the opportunities, smiles and tears, nothing is permanent. You'll miss them one day, but till then enjoy everything given to you. And even when this world is not that beautiful it is definitely worthy to live.

P.S.   To, my Manana Sweethearts. 

Be good to everyone whether they are white, black, gray, young, old or anyone. And Smile inspite of the negatives around you. Then you'll have the best personality.

Definitely miss the time spend with you all.  

Love u kids.

P.S.S.  Children do know to fake a smile, but when you reach out to them you could make a difference in them.

God blez.

J

Miss you Home.

My place is always my own. Here 'm a stranger, a tourist in an unknown land, who came to seek the gold pot at the end of the rainbow. But till now not even the rainbow has come out of its hiding place.


I was a person who cheered for Pakistan in cricket and who prayed India to lose her crown in Miss World (but i was just 6years, so guess it can be forgiven).


But now after living with her for more than half of my life i began to respect her, take pride in been her daughter, to have a space in her land and to be known to others as hers.


When compared to this strange land she may not have the perfect silky roads. But i can go where ever i want or walk till my feet ache and without fearing any sun stroke.


She maynot have sophisticated malls and hangouts. But the street chaats and exhibition grounds reveal part of her soul, culture and lot of memories.


She may not have a 10 on 10 ruling authority but everyone enjoys the power. She doesn't show partiality in religions. For her every religion is the same and everyone is her child.


She doesn't believe in monopoly. A different telecom company is born every day offering the least call rates or even zero rates for their existence. But due to which I can actually talk to my people without checking my credit thrice in five minutes.


Her shopping outlets may not be air conditioned but they won’t burn a hole in your pockets.


She may not provide a stable electric power 24x7, but always opens the door to the freshness of nature.


The rain at her place may ruin your plans but keeps you cool during your grumpiest hour and will be your companion in solitude.


The beaches may not be seen with white sand, palm trees and calm, clear, blue water but it comforts and soothes your soul.


After dark it may not be safe to roam about in her land, but the courage and feeling of independence she provides is immense.


The street eat-outs won't be providing you with international cuisines but will serve you with a genuine smile.


The people in her land even thou a bit narrow minded, value family and relations above their job, status or worldly pleasures.


It’s said, ‘You don't realize the value of something unless u lose it.' Here i didn't lose anything, rather i gained knowledge of the love and passion i have for my place. The land which provided space for every mood swings of mine.


My country is not perfect, but she is mine and she makes me feel at home.


Whenever i came back to you in the past, you welcomed me warm heartedly and the nectar from the skies embraced me.


I miss u.


I just miss being with you.

P.S. Keep Smiling.


God Blez.