Kindness - A boomerang Effect. - #K

Dear Daughter,

I believe that kindness is one of the most important virtues because it is an important basis in everyday life. It is a strong moral to have. Kindness can be giving a simple smile or helping someone cross the street. We can use this virtue in every situation. When your in a good mood and someone around you isn’t wouldn’t you like to keep your good energy and show some kindness, rather than be effected my their bad mood. Every single person in the world has the ability to choose how they treat others. We should all choose to be kind.

For me, kindness is important to give, much more than to get, because it not only gives another person the opportunity to feel better about them, it also gives me the ability to feel better about myself. Wherever you’re just keep your eyes and ears open, you never know who might be in need of you. A smile, a word, a head nod, a hug … with just these you can change a person. When you look at the world through a lens of kindness, non judgement and compassion, you would see good people. People just like you — people who want to be happy. Without the kindness of strangers you wouldn’t have food on the table or a roof over your head. Don’t forget that we are all interdependent. We can’t experience anything without each other. Allow kindness to become the natural and spontaneous response to every situation, with this increased ability to respond compassionately, true success will follow.

All around the world, there are many big-hearted individuals who practice daily acts of kindness. Patience Salgado, who is known as “kindness girl”, leaves $5 vouchers in shop backpacks for the first day of school and scrawls messages of hope on footpaths. There’s a seven-year-old girl who has raised enough money to give 700 teddy bears to hospital patients, and a group called Wake Up in Sydney who’ve sent out more than 75,000 free kindness cards to encourage random acts of kindness.  And another group of youngsters who started Letters of Love, a global initiative ensuring that thousands of refugee children, tended by the UNHCR, receive personalized New Year cards from people like you and me. And in my case, I’m part of a group who ensures education and financial help for children and family from not so sound background. And by the time you read this letter, this NGO is going to reach out thousands of children out there. Because it's my dream project. 

What I learned from an act of kindness is that never underestimate the ripple effect of your actions on the planet. And don’t underestimate the boomerang effect your actions will have on your own life; even if not immediately apparent.

Keep in mind that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

My little one, I pray, I truly pray that you're a kind-hearted soul. Kindness is one virtue a human being must possess.

Yours,

Me.

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Jealousy is Normal - #J

Dear Daughter,

Have your felt that pang of jealousy hitting you at the most unexpected times? When a friend scores more than you, or gets better in life or looks more pretty than you, do you feel a burning in your chest?

I am not here to say jealousy is wrong. A little envy is so normal. But too much of it is not and to understand it and tackle the feeling and not let that ruin your peace of mind is the key. One main reason when this emotion engulfs you is when you feel insecure about yourself. When you doubt your worth. I have felt the same. And before it started ruining me I controlled it. There was an instance when I felt I was far behind my peers despite doing everything they did or sometimes much more. There came jealousy…an uninvited guest. The thought gave me some sleepless nights and I began to doubt myself. But my love for myself was much more than those rootless feelings I was able to kick them off.

All your life you are going to encounter this emotion. But there are somethings that can be done when you feel like jealousy is spreading out like a disease in your life. Like …

Surround yourselves with trustworthy, positive energized people. They boost your spirits like anything when you slide down.

Celebrate others success and be genuinely be happy in their growth.

Do what your heart says, and never let others opinions bother you. You might take a longer route to reach your destination but the journey is all worth.

Count your blessings and you’ll know that there’s no need to be envious about others.

Take a social hibernation once in a while. Social media is a highlight reel. We just put the best of everything there. Best pictures. Best check ins. Best quotes. Or life altering moves. Less than the best or even average is not been uploaded there by anyone. Keeping away from screen for something gives you time to look around and gain some confidence and me time. So unplug at the right time.

Never ever compare yourself with others. There’s always something better in him/her than in you and vice versa. Why waste your energy in this, when you can fixate on the positives in your life and in the lives of others?

So my dear child,

When self-doubt creeps in, when jealous peeps out and when you start running to beat someone else, understand that, “Jealousy is really perceptual. Nothing that you have is going to feel good if you’re constantly thinking there’s something else that’s better. Don’t focus on comparisons.”

Yours,

Me. 

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Happiness Over Hatred - #H

Dear Daughter,

How are you in handling "hatred"? Are you the kind of person who keeps the anger inside you burning till it turns to the strong emotion hatred? 

There was a time until very recently I was such a person. I couldn't tolerate backstabbing and even now I can't. I can't tolerate broken promises. So when one does any of these I react in the most horrible way. I avoid them from my life and eventually start hating them. But one thing I didn't realize was, this hatred was making me a angry person. A bitter soul. Forgiveness was not even in the dictionary. The mere mention of that person's name could send me in flames. I was moody, frustrated and grumpy all the time. For what? For something the other person did? What did he gain? My imbalance in life. And what did I gain? Nothing. Just gave him the pleasure of his success.

Hatred doesn't end anything. It just keeps on building a negative aura around you making your soul and yourself unhappy and bitter all the time. When a person chose to do something you doesn't approve of, keep them away from your life but without any emotional baggage. They doesn't require all these attention you might be giving to them in your mind. Hatred is a very strong negative word. It doesn't do you good. But just destroys your happy soul bit by bit.

So cultivate happiness for a peaceful life and not hatred. 

Yours

Me,

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Fate Contradicts - #F

Dear Daughter,

I don't know what I'm going to tell you today. I feel like no matter whatever I advise, give you gyaans sometimes nothing would prepare you to face the life that's happening.

Today morning I saw death. Again.

Brother of a dear friend who was just 20, passed away in an accident. I had just talked to my friend this morning and we were discussing what should be my "F" post and decided upon "Fighter" after so much of laughter and talks. After a few hours I heard the same man crying out loud. I just couldn't digest the contradiction that happened in between few hours. You know what I did? I did my nails! I have no justification for my action. But I wanted to feel some normalcy. After hearing the bad news I kept going back to the past deaths in my life. It took me years and so many wrong decisions to accept them. I did everything to have a busy day, today.  Had meetings till late evening since I didn’t wanted to stay alone even for a second out of fear of memories gushing into me. Even writing all this is feeling wrong, as if I’m utilizing one’s pain. But I really want you to know that life is unpredictable and comes without any kind of manual. Be prepared for the worst.  

Even when you will be fighting the whole world you could be vulnerable inside. It’s Ok. It’s really ok to be fragile. To feel the raw emotions. To endure pain. But my child, please don’t let that destroy you.

Yours,

Me. 

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Extra can make you Extraordinary. - #E

Dear Daughter,

Have you ever noticed how the word Extra or Free on anything just brings a smile on to our face? When you get three chocolates at the price of two or 20% chips or buy one get one free promos, you feel as if your trip to the supermarket was just worth it.

Now think, what wonders an “Extra” can do in your life? An extra mile in your walk, an extra step towards your dreams, an extra ear for those who want to talk, an extra hug for those in despair, some extra time for those in need… you can be extraordinary because the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

There will many times when you would have done everything to excel in a job or studies or reaching your goal and yet failed to see the result and thinking of quitting the whole thing. But before you do that, just put one last extra step towards your goal. I am sure you’ll see amazing results. Because most of the times we give up before few miles to our destination. Never do that.

More than all this, I want you to go an extra mile in your relations with others. There are so many people in this world who’s suffering alone. You don’t have to travel around the world looking for them. Mostly they will be people around you, your near ones, acquaintances, colleagues, that stranger sitting next to you in metro or subway. It can be anyone.

Some years ago, I and my friends organized a summer camp for teenagers. And on its one year anniversary we were planning a reunion but it didn’t happen, because we couldn’t find time in our schedule. A week after that, heard a boy in that gang committed suicide because he didn’t clear some papers in his first year Engineering semester exam. And till date I feel guilty about it. I keep thinking, if we took that extra effort to do that reunion, or just called and talked to everyone or kept had personal contact he would have been still alive. If someone anyone had some extra time to console him or give him support or talk to him and make him understand that life is not all about the mere things we encounter daily but it's all about the people that are around us, the people that love us for who we are. Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear, all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.

So my child understand that,

Words are strong. Hugs are assuring. Listening is comforting. Been just there for someone can be life changing. Because all these can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.

Yours,

Me. 

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Don'ts of a Girl - #D

Dear Daughter,

Today let's talk about the Don’ts. In a society like ours you're going to face so many Don'ts, even for the smallest things you do. So let me give you a heads up on them …

Don't play with cars or superheroes, its dolls for you.

Don't talk too loudly, girls only talk in hushed voices.

Don’t sit with legs apart, it’s not feminine.

Don't run or jump around or do sports like boys, you’ll build muscles.

Don't wear short dresses, you're asking for it.

Don't use bold lip colors, its provocative.

Don't travel alone, esp. after dark, you’re putting yourself in danger.

Don't make friends with so many boys.

Don't be too ambitious, you should be more concerned about your family.

Don't act bold, that’s not your cup of cake.

Don't be stubborn, you will be tagged a feminist.

Don't take your own decisions, because we know better.

Don't wear jeans or such so called boy's attire, people will talk.

Don't contradict with your elders even if they're wrong, they have seen the world more.

Don't dream about a life of your own, it’s a crime.

Don't live for yourself, it’s selfish.

Don't indulge in your dreams, that a sinful leisure.

Don't raise your voice even if someone abuses you, women are supposed to tolerate.

Don't fight against people who try to destroy you, women should forgive.

Don't think you can have a peaceful, secure and carefree life, that’s not your right.

Don't …...

Don't ……

Don't ……

Because you're a girl!

My precious precious child... 

Do whatever you want to do as long as it's right for you. Live your life the way you want. You're created as a human being by the Divine Power with equal rights and freedom as he created every other man. So no one, absolutely no one has the right to tell you "No" just because of your gender. As long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong or don't have to lie you have the complete freedom to do your heart. 

Just keep in mind... If you don't have to lie or feel embarrassed/guilty about something you did, then you did the right thing.

Yours,

Me.  

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Create your Creation - #C

Dear Daughter,

You may think why I'm writing to you even before you were born and also about such trivial issues. It's because now at my late 20s I came to an understanding that all those things I thought were important till yesterday were just not. And there's much more in this world. I want you to do your share of mistakes but not fall heads down without any clue like I did.

Today I want to share about the importance of Creation. You're most powerful when you have the ability to create something. Nurture your skills to create. Whether it’s music, art, fabric, writing, pictures or anything. Take the time out to learn and be a master in the selected arena with dedication.  It’s always important to have a hobby and to make that hobby into a passion. Because at your lowest these are going to hold you up. And when you indulge in the art of creation you’re getting more close to the Divine power.

I started this blog at the lowest point in my life. This was that one place that gave me the freedom to be myself without the fear of been judged. Later on this became an essential part of me. When everything around me fails to be in my control, this is one place where I could create and be the master. And always do things for yourself and not for others. It’s your happiness and emotional satisfaction that matters most. Create for yourself, and for your happiness only and make a small part of heaven here in this world. 

Understand that, “We are all creative beings. The act of creating puts us in direct connection with the greatest creator. The master artist that is our Divine Creator.”

From,

Me.

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Wrong B's - #B

Dear Daughter,

How're you my child? What's happening in your life? All good?!

Have you reached your rebellious teenage stage where you'll be giving priority over all wrong Bs?! Butts, boobs, body and even wrong boys!

Stop obsessing over them.

You may be in that phase where you'll be wasting gallons of time in front of the mirror checking out your body and wondering why you didn't have that perfect toned butts or an hour glass. Or staring for long at the school/college beauty or some random celebrities and cursing you for not having their high cheekbones or curly thick mane or long slender limbs. Stop. Stop it right now. Stop obsessing over these mundane things.

Change your lifestyle or get some workout done if you're not happy about your body. Or else accept and start loving the whole you. But always remember it's always important to nurture a beautiful mind and character more than anything else. I and the world need a kind and good hearted human being than a gorgeous Goddess.

For one person your hair won't be perfect or your nose, for the other, your skin maybe too dark and another one may find it too fair. But what matters is your opinion about yourself. And no one, absolutely no one is worthy enough to degrade you. Always remember, no matter what the rest of the world says, you're beautiful inside out. Nurture your mind and heart and brains. That's what matters the most. 

So keep in mind,

"We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were meant to be." 

From,
Me.

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A Woman is a Woman is a Woman - #A

Dear Daughter,

By now you may have heard and even faced so many atrocities against women kind. There are times when you feel as if the whole world is against women. So many improper things, unkindness and abuses might be happening to the fellow women around you. And there might have been a moment when you have thought that it would have been better if you were not born as a woman.

Do you know Oprah Winfrey? I hope you do. She was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother. She was molested during her childhood and early teens and became pregnant at 14; her son died in infancy. Betrayed by family and not mothered well by her own mom, she struggled all through her childhood. And from there to earn the titles like "arguably the world's most powerful woman”, "arguably the most influential woman in the world" and "one of the 100 people who most influenced the 20th Century", it couldn't have been an easy journey for her, especially been a African-American woman in 1960s.

Yet she strived.

There is something unexplored about every woman that only a woman can explore. There’s a hidden strength in you that will help you jump hurdles and walk miles alone. Being a woman means being strong, because you’ll find that your womanhood will need that strength, and when you let it, sometimes that strength will even find you. And it is the recognition of some of your weaknesses and the struggles you might have to endure while travelling through this not so perfect world.

So dear child ...

Embrace yourself. Embrace your womanhood. Be proud of yourself and strive to be a better human being every day.

So remember always, 

A woman is a woman is a woman. She can never be anything else but a woman.

From,

Me. 

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