When she entered her childhood days room, she came face to face with her mysterious secret fuchsia wall color. She have never seen this wallpaint anywhere else till date and still wonder what made her choose this, even when pink and shades of that was never her favorite. This was chosen only with the intention of giving a different perspective for the room from the rest of the house, which was a shade of chocolate brown.
And now after some years out in the world, but yet so tied down to the roots, she fear from taking that step away from the crowd. She know what she want. Know how badly her heart desires to plunge into that direction. Yet her legs shake at the mere thought of going through that path, going against the world, without no one to hold her back, no one to give that assurance smile, without one to say "It's OK, you're going to be fine".
She always had her own set of dreams, opinions and ideologies. But somewhere down the lane she lost it someday. How much she searched, they were never found.
Setting back to the past, she couldn't even recognize herself from her yesterdays. Herself when she was a child, who never cared about the world, or how other's gonna rate her but who believed in her dreams and gripped tightly to that. Or as a teenage tomboy, who lived life as if there's no tomorrow. But as the numbers in the age scale increased and days in earth decreased, looks like she was also plunged deep into the society norm. Where risks were just to be seen far from a distance and if your dreams are not the ordinary one then you better stop dreaming. Thou, you learn to lead this very ordinary life at some point you stop in the midway not wanting to go forward, still not knowing how to go back and start again. That's the real crossroad of your life and one she was facing right now.
Now at this moment sitting here and looking out at the never ending ocean, she was searching for all the answers in its depths. Hoping that they'll reach out from the deep blue to her all by themselves...
Sometimes you just have to look forward and not worry about the past. Loved the idea of a fuschia room!
ReplyDeleteThe idea actually came from my room back in India ;)
DeleteMaybe she can find a way to do both... fit in with the "norms" and also be who she wants to be. :) I hope she finds those answers.
ReplyDeleteFit in with the norms is usually a hard thing, esp when we dream of something different... :)
DeleteIt is never too late to live your authentic self! Don't worry about what others will think of you. They are not living your life, you are. Besides, they are probably spending their time worrying about what you think of them.
ReplyDeleteVery well said Arla. Only been ourselves leads to happiness. Thank you so much for visiting. :)
DeleteIntriguing! Thank you for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Laurel for visting. :)
DeleteWill you be writing a serial story, Sheethal? Because I'd like to know what happened next!
ReplyDeleteNo Vidya.... this was just a short post. Maybe someday I could develop this into a serial story... ;)
DeleteIntrospection is the best way to move forward. So much thought has gone into this post. All the best for the UCB
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Indrepreet for the words and also for visiting :)
DeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteIs this the start of a novel or a one off piece of fiction?
Either way, I really enjoyed it. I like your writing style.
:)
This is just one piece of fiction.... maybe a story in the near future.
DeleteThank you so much... and so glad that you enjoyed reading this. :)
The answers might be there but it is too late to act for any needed rectification.. A good start to UBC.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jayanata :)
DeleteThe last two lines are powerfully. Depths of the ocean may indeed hide our answers, this thought has often come to me too. But is it always the ocean outside or the one within?
ReplyDeleteNice introspective post, Sheethal. Good luck for the UBC.
The room color reminded me of my room. The only pink strawberry colored room in the whole house. We were so sure of our decisions during those days. Though your words, you have expressed the dilemna of many.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful story. Like others I too am curious to know what happened to 'her' dreams!
ReplyDeleteBrings about so much nostalgia, Sheethal :) Like the others, I'm curious to know what happened as well!
ReplyDeleteMay she gets all the answers that she is seeking! Good to see you back, Sheethal :)
ReplyDeleteNice going... You know would love to read the continuation of this. ..see her mature n find all the answers!
ReplyDeleteSo glad u t back n doing UBC!!
That's an intriguing story. Hope she finds the answers she's looking for
ReplyDelete