Suicide is Permanent but not our Problems.

Dear Dad,

Can I ask how you are? I know, I, your pride, sweet stubborn, little girl, who broke your heart to thousand irreparable pieces, have no right to ask you such a question.

I am sorry Dad. But don't hate me, please...

I don't know whether I am in heaven or hell or anywhere else. When I left my earthly body and came here, I was greeted by an Angel. He showed me what happened after I left. He showed how, while everyone was crying out their loss, you were clutching to my lifeless cold hands and asking in your mind, “Why? Why you did this? .... Why?”

Dad, I didn't knew, I would cause this pain in you.

I tried to be strong. I tried to ignore everything that was happening to me. I tried to look at the brighter side and move on, but Dad, I didn't see anything or anyone. All I saw was, pitch black darkness around me. I know, I let you down. Life didn't turn out the way everyone and I thought it would be. Life just started losing all it colors. Never in life I felt that lonely, like that, one moment. Never till then, I wanted someone to hug me and just be with me.

With more than thousand friends in FB and hundreds in my phone list, I didn't find one person I could share myself with, or just cry to without any inhibitions. I tried to talk to you, but didn't want to burden you. I thought you would understand without me saying anything, but no. When I smiled and laughed you thought I was OK and happy. But with every smile I was losing hope.

Dad, the Angel here, showed how my life would have turned out, if I didn't surrender to that dark moment. I saw how everything would have been OK with time. Saw "my supposed to happen" wedding day. And Dad, I looked beautiful ;) and you were dashing too. And you were so openly, shamelessly proud and beaming and telling all the people around, "it's my little girl's big day"... haha... Dad, you looked so cute then.

And Dad, you know what, I was to have a baby girl, like I always wanted. I saw the happy tears you had in your eyes, while holding your grandchild with utter most softness. And you were to be her favorite grandparent. My life, "if it wasn't for suicide" just played in front of my eyes like a movie.

I'm so sorry; I made you miss all this from life. I destroyed every ounce of happiness that was to happen, just because, I couldn't bear a moment's pain. I couldn't think straight. I just lost myself that one moment. One moment that changed everything.

I wish... if it was all just a dream. I wish... I didn't do it. I wish, I was not dead. Dad, I want to come back to you. I want to live my life. I wish, I was still alive.

But once dead is always dead.

I don't know if I'll have one more life as a human. But, if I am blessed with one, I want to be your little girl once more. And I promise... I promise whatever happens, how bad life turns out; I would never ever leave you like this.

I don't know how this letter of mine will reach you. But this angel promised to deliver this to you promptly. Maybe through a dream! However it is, I just want let you know how sorry I'm... but Dad, you are the best father a daughter could dream of and I love you implicitly.

Your Little Girl forever!

This is written for Write Tribe for a cause in which we all want to make a difference. 

World Suicide Prevention Day-September 10.

Please us the hashtag #suicideprevention to tweet/share on Facebook.

                                  If you or a friend are considering suicide please call the 

                National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273- (8255). It is free and confidential. Please Talk!