Monday, January 23, 2017

Just Rambling ...


When you're not content with your life, even the slightest prickle triggers you.

That's what is happening with me for some time now. My mood changes in a snap of the finger just for the most trivial reasons. Maybe someone said something silly, someone talked too much, took so much of time, traffic, excess work, irritating bro, over concerned family … anything just anything can make me nasty now.

I had this undying passionate love for myself. I loved myself so much that I could make sure that I was happy no matter what. But now that's missing. I like me. But that's different and the intensity has reduced. I guess... I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed in myself. When I talk to anyone, positiveness will be oozing out from me. But deep down I'm this little girl who's lost in deep woods all alone. I don't want someone to come and rescue me. I want my inner strength and self-love to come out from its hiding and lead me out. I want that dislike-ness for everything and everyone around me to evaporate for good. I loved meeting new people. But now I have lost count of the postponed and ignored and passed on or even cancelled meetings/calls I had with my friends, new humans, clients or employees.

I know this will change.

It's just the time is not right for me. It’s just life is been a bit of a roller coaster ride. It’s just there’s too much in my plate now. It’s just I don’t have enough space to breathe now. It’s just so much of negative thoughts are clogging my mind.

Simply, it’s just life is taking a totally different unexpected bumpy route and that’s taking a toll on me.

But change is on the way. Or I'll plant as many beautiful plants and tress I can, all along that bumpy route.


Ok. I’m stopping here. God! I sound so depressing to myself. And this is one reason I don’t write anything here anymore. 

So to sum up:  

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. "

And I hope to do just the same.





10 comments :

  1. I too feel that way sometimes ... That feeling of irritation that refuses to go away... I blame it on the hormones... But for me this passes in a couple of days... I hope you will get past this phase too... Sooner and faster. We can't help it except to feel all this emotions and then let it go. Suppressing them only aggravates it. Don't be too harsh on yourself. You are a wonderful being, just going through bad times. Hugs and love to you.

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  2. Hugs Sheethal... All I can say this too shall pass by and you would love yourself once again. In the meantime continue doing things you like and Xpress yourself through your wonderful blog. Hoping u start feeling better soon.

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    1. Thank you so much. Yea... This too we pass... it's just the time.

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  3. Trust me... I know how u feel. The last 3 fortnights have been some of the most depressing I've faced in decades. A part of it relates to events occurring but a major part of it is in my mind with self-doubts and watching the past.
    Its tough for me to believe even today as brightly in the future as I once did. But I must. And so must you. Somewhere we will realize our 'happily ever after'. But we need to keep the light on - however dim - till then.

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    1. So true... Our minds are the worst at times. Those self doubts and low esteem we feel at times ... Hope we both will get through all of these really soon.

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  4. Oh Sheethal, I cheer for you! Yes, you will girl! Whatever you put your mind to, you will do:-) Powerful read I think, and can really relate... That's the ups and downs.... Warm hugs

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  5. Yes, change is constant. We need to adjust and work for what we want. The road ahead will be all smooth sailing. Stay strong.

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  6. You know what - I'm just going to leave this here; I love it that you're writing again. And yes, we all have those nagging thoughts at the back of our head.
    It WILL pass.
    Hugs!

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