Reflections and Realizations ...

This has been going around in blogosphere for some time now. And it’s been in my drafts also for long now. This was first published in Oprah.com. So this year I decided to write it down at last. These questions make you to reflect upon yourself so thought why not? And here goes …

   1.      What Younger You Would Like About Present You?

         I always wanted to be my own boss. And right now I’m that. Thou I still have some of the ambitions to achieve, soon… very soon.

   2.      The Watched/Read It List

         Currently not reading or watching anything. I regret that, but just too tied up with life and tired to take a break too. But 2016 is going to be different atleast in the case of my reading.

   3.      The Mistake You Never Want to Make

          Follow the mass. Do something because the society demands so.

   4.      Your Ideal Outfit

           Jeans, a nice top, heels/sneakers/flats and a handbag. Anytime of the day or night.

   5.      A Deep, Dark—Shhh—Secret

           I love myself too much. ;)

   6.      The Most Unexpected Compliment You Ever Got

        I got a group of friends who are non-expressive just like me. And any compliment from their side is so unexpected. But two days before when talking to S (one of my close friend’s right from school) he complimented me on being an awesome person. Awe! What more you need? ;)

   7.      That One Quote

         I don’t know whether it’s a quote or something I made up myself, but for long I have been clinging to this one statement whenever I’m not happy. “Whatever happens in life, move on with a Smile.”

   8.      Your True Happiness

        I find happiness when people linked to me are happy, that includes my family, my close friends and my dear ones. 

   9.      Your favorite failure

     Relations that made me give so much … gave me memories and lessons and which actually changed me in a good way, and at the end which took a part of me with them.

   10.  An amendment to the bucket list

          A solo vacation.  

Yes. That's my reflection for now. Don't know what the New year is going to hold for me, and for people round me. But hoping and wishing with all my heart that better and good things comes through all our path in 2016. 

Sarah ...

She stood near her mom's grave. When she drew her last breath Sarah was away in Uni. And it’s been two years since then and this is the first time she's visiting her mom. 

When her father informed about her mom's death, she didn't feel anything. It was as if a chapter was closed all by itself, without any dramas. She never felt any connection with her mom.  Her mom didn't exhibit any motherly affection towards her even when she was a child. And Sarah always felt like a stranger who came out of her mother's womb.

"It's nice to make good memories. And I wished you had done the same with me too." Sarah said out aloud standing next to mom's grave.

Linking this to BAR Wordy Wenesday

Random Scribblings ...

Life is been pretty busy yet slow for the past few months. I have been technically away from blogging after the April challenge. I went for a vacation in June and from there it was kind of a roller-coaster ride. My Evernote is full of uncompleted drafts which I have no idea how to complete and yet I hope to do some other day of my life.

I have been investing my time and energy into a new venture of ours and it seems like at the end of the day I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep! Nothing else matters then. But should add, religiously I take my laptop every night and open MSWord thinking of scribbling something but which results in endless staring at the blinking cursor. Exhausted, I tune myself to a movie and stay glued to it.

I sometimes wish there was this technology where your writings from a notebook get transferred to your PC just-like-that. Likewise, I sometimes wish I could just pack my backpack and go see the world leaving all my obligations and responsibilities. Sometimes life is full of those just-like-that wishes. At times I get this sudden irresistible urge to go somewhere far alone for sometime, or just sleep for a whole day, or be invisible from everything or start up something dramatic or just blog more frequently. I know all these are not so not-possible things. But just mundane very much possible things. I know… I know… but sometimes it’s just difficult. Maybe I’m just too lazy.

Recently a dear friend of mine send me an excerpt from a book. It’s about the author been questioned about his past. The author is proud about the things he has done in his yester-years, but the people around him question the morality in that. What do you think? Personally I believe my past defines me. I have done wrong, took the most stupid decisions, have compromised for less worth things, have hurt my near ones, have suffered the consequences of my doings,  have lost and gained, smiled and cried ... but I don’t regret anything I have done. Maybe if given a chance I might have opted for more subtle decisions when it’s concerned with other people. But still I believe our yesterdays are just are learning days were we gain courage to grow. Hope we all gain strength from our past and have the courage and energy to live our present with a dream of brighter tomorrows. 

So what is your take on this? And is your day going on?

Linking this to Write Tribe #MondayMusings

Wake-Up Call

When a little boy came with a small bucket and spade, all business like, she got curious. He just looked all-around and settled down at a spot which felt best for him. And there he started building his castle out of sand. She felt as if he was showing her life being built. Carefully and patiently he was drawing the castle's perimeter in the sand and then he mounded a big pile of sand inside it. After that he made a hole in the center, filled it with water, and tamped it down. Slowly he added layers of sand and water until he had a firm and level mound. Then when was all set to finish a huge tide came and washed off half of his sand castle. He was going to scream his lungs out of sadness, she was betting on that. But she was amused when he angrily glared at the sea and started rebuilding his castle again, as if telling the sea that nothing could stop him from making him finish what he started. And that was the wake-up call for her, to rebuild her life again, to rejuvenate herself and start fresh. 

Linking this to BAR Wordy Wednesday.

Letters Of Love

Have you ever thought of making a difference here in this world with your life? Yes, I have… and it’s always my deepest desire. But there’s always a difference between dreaming and actually taking an effort and doing it. 

When we all empathize about the terrible things that’s happening round us, beautiful people like Pooja Pradeep just takes that extra step to ensure that something positive is been directed towards the affected people. And here she is doing her bit and letting others to be a part of that and making that something huge for those who receive them.

More than 50% of Syrian refugees are children. The youngest are confused and scared by their experiences, lacking the sense of safety and home they need. The older children are forced to grow up too fast, finding work and taking care of their family in desperate circumstances. They don’t even know why they have to go through all this. They don’t have anyone to comfort, say a word of encouragement or express any emotion of love and here comes Letters of Love. I came to know about this beautiful initiative from Roshan’s blog and what more reason one need to look into something a friend believes in. Letters of Love is an initiative to collect smiles and love from across the world and translate it to Arabic and send to the little ones in Syria. 

 Pooja with the postcards :)

The idea is to deliver all these post cards via the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees to the children across various refugee camps by NEW YEAR 2015. So you just have to search for that happiest picture of yours, write and write a happy positive note with loads of love and inbox it to Letters of Love. And they’ll convert it to postcard with a handwritten note by mid-December.

The images could be anything positive -

•         Your best smile
•         Blowing a kiss
•         You and your friends
•         You with your pets
•         You holding flowers
•         Words - cheery and feel good in tone, ideally, rather than taking on a sympathetic voice.

Things to avoid –

•         Selfies (they may get cropped while converting into post card format)
•       Images with food or materialistic goods (it may hit a raw nerve for a child who has lost everything)
•         Obscene gestures. 

Christmas is always the season of celebrations and hope. Let’s celebrate this December by letting the love and hope and warmth spread across borders to those who need them the most.

Hope you’ll join in too. 

A Snippet from the Past ...

5 Aug 2009

It’s almost two in the morning. The air is so warm that the comforter was suffocating me. I’ve been trying to sleep for hours, but despite the tiredness sleep fails me yet another night. Sleep hasn’t visited me in days and how I hate these long nights. I hate this insomnia. Sleep is a getaway from everything everyone and reality. I don’t feel like staying back when I’m awake, which I’m for days now. I just feel like running away, to that far away island in the north or go road trekking in some strange country or in a café with cups and cups of coffee writing my heart out in the midst of foreign language or volunteering in a village in some under developed country. These were plans in my to-do-list for years. But somehow along the road the to-do-list of living life turned to just surviving. I never understood myself. One minute I’ll be sipping life as if it’s the sweetest nectar I have never tasted and the other moment I’ll be in this deep dark pitch screaming silently to be unseen and unknown. But till when …  

Liza turned to the next page and to the other but to find them all blank.

Where's all this religions taking us?

In this fast phased life where everything and everyone is running around to meet their ends in a very modern rate, even spiritualism is also running forward to meet them.

Religion is a set of beliefs made by the elders in a society to enforce the moral values necessary to preserve the society which exploits a belief and supernatural powers to enforce “the rules.” Societies with religion were more likely to survive than those without because of the community, compassion, lack of anarchy or murder, family structure, etc. enforced by religious beliefs. And that's why religion was important and to an extend that's what is it's role even now. But now community have developed, technologies are discovered, information whether right or wrong is shared across the world in a moment's click.

Now religion has became a method of debate and self esteem. People are willing to fight and die, to do anything and everything to install their religious views upon someone else even by force. In the primitive age when there were no means of communication except word of mouth, religions didn't had an opportunity to conflict. But now the situation is just the opposite.

Even when we say the modern society is educated, well off and logical, there's some part in everyone which is obsessed  in the supernatural power and that is doing more harm than good.

Religions are made to bring people more close to each other, to live in harmony and peace. But religions always have bestowed a false face of fear on everyone's mind. Every religion starts on the idea that everyone is a sinner. And every act unless and until it's selfless, pure or divine is a sin. And impure souls, if they don’t purify themselves they will soon be condemned to hell by God. In order to avoid hell, religion demands that people prove to God that they are worthy of heaven. How? By following the dogma of religion. Naturally, when people are put in such a situation, they find themselves in a continuous state of fear. They are always afraid whether their actions are right according to religion or not. And a living in fear is not living, it's just surviving.

But people see themselves as sinners they start hating each other. A human who's not able to love himself how he is expected to love his fellow beings. And there begins the conflicts and disagreements. Then he will not tolerate religious ideologies that are different from the one he follow. This is why you can see religions fighting against each other.

When modern society is moving forward with such an astonishing speed, somewhere at least some of us are walking with a blindfold ignoring the facts and truths and we are living in complete ignorance. Right from the small age we have to been taught to follow religion without even batting an eyelash. And questioning anything religious is a sin which will make you a sinner eternally. This fear makes us afraid to search for the truth. And that's one reason there's so many people like Radhemaa, Swami Sadachari, Shreemurath Dwivedi  and so many other frauds. We see them as an easy route to God, when even God would never tolerate their acts.

Religion is like slow poison, and just as poison is killing your body, in the same way religion is killing your soul. Many people choose to follow religion, even though they suffer from this choice, simply because religion frees them from personal responsibility. To live spontaneously one has to take responsibility for oneself, which is not easy. Life is made of choices, and to make the right choices is not always easy. So people prefer not to chose for themselves, but to have others chose for them. They prefer to walk on paths made by others, instead of creating their on path. But unless we stop having an authority to tell us what to do or what not to do, will never be free. And unless we are free, we will never be happy and peaceful.

Be religious and spiritual in the right way seeking knowledge and light rather than following the mass and conflicts. When we search for the heaven, don't let all these ignorance take us straight to hell even without a judgement day. And may this 69th Independence Day bring us more independence in every aspect of our life.

So what's your say on this? Do share...

A Coffee Affair ...

Most of the coffee lovers spend their morning with the coffee as if it's their divine love. Me too actually. I hold my coffee mug for a few moments feeling the warmth of the cup on my hands, and then inhale its strong aroma and somehow I close my eyes doing that. Then the first sip of coffee.... That is heaven. What if we make our life just as special as this coffee-affair?

Yesterday it was the mark of my 26th year in this world. And you know what I missed the most... the moments I would have with my dear ones if they were around. And you know what made me sad... thinking next year I'll miss spending time with these people I have today. And you know what made me happy... that I got some good memories with them.

Some years ago I thought a job with a good pay would make me happy. No! But now I realize only a job which is my passion could make me happy. And a full wallet is not enough to bring smile to your face. You need people with whom you could spend some quality time with to have that smile. I believe life is all about the moments we create and enjoy with ourselves and our loved ones. What's the point in living without enjoying it?

Life is so busy these days running around to juggle between work and home. But that is not going to stop or life itself is not going to put a comma for you to slow down and have that coffee in peace. We have to do it ourselves. Have a coffee affair alone or with a dear friend once in awhile. Catch up what's happening in each other's life or relive the old days. Create memories and good relations. Because on your next birthday even before you check your social status or bank account you're going to look around to see whether you got all your dear ones near you and whether you added anyone else to the list. And while blowing your candle you'll be thinking about your yester year's moments and not the meeting you have to attend the next day.

Don't give up on your own happy-evers. And if your happy-ever is that me-time-tea-time, do it. Or that solitude bookworm moment, seize it. Or a coffee conversation with a friend, go for it. Or a Skype time with a dear one across miles, log in for that.

Live your moments and stay happy and make your life as special as possible, because that's our ultimate dream and that's why we are here.

Zara ...

Her life was never a fantasy. It constantly had its ups and downs... smiles and frowns. But when he came along, Zara turned every tear into smiles.... and every frown into a grin. She loved every bit of him. His craziness, anger, beliefs, looks, arrogance and everything. In the beginning everything was blissful. But as days went, the happiness started to play hide and seek just as his mood swings. He could be a lovable person this moment and an insane man the next.

In the beginning, Zara had a numbness that allowed her to exist. Then her memory turned into images like an old silent movie, flickers of images but no detail. Now… Now she remembered details. It was like seeing fire, being burned before, knowing it will hurt, and sticking your hand in anyway. In her mind she inspected his face, his look, what did she miss, what she could have done to be there with him. Nothing.  Absolutely nothing. Thou the thought of him away from him make her incomplete, it keeps her alive. And she’s grateful for that. 

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Yanna ...

Every morning Yanna woke up before anyone did all the household chores, did everything for her husband, kids and family. And then went off for her work. But whatever she did she couldn't concentrate properly. She felt out of the world in a remote place all alone. Nothing felt right. Food didn't taste good anymore. Sleep decided to play hide and seek for long. And she was tired and angry always. Even when her four year old came to play with her she felt irritated.

Yanna knew something was wrong but she couldn't figure out what it was. And she was afraid to say anything to anyone. But when you are married to a person who's not only your life partner but also your best friend nothing goes unnoticed.

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Xena ...

She missed her bus again. And she was running late for work. “That manager is going to screw my day.” Xena thought to herself. While waiting for another bus/cab, a man pulled up next to her and offered her a ride. Thou she’s never someone to accept a ride from a stranger, this time she got in. But she didn’t knew that one mistake was going to change her life.  

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Wenda ...

Wenda, as her name depicts, was a wanderer at heart. One untamed female… who dreams about travelling and running wild. Settling down in a place and making that her home forever was not her cup of tea. Freedom and space was like fresh air for her. Without that she was not alive, but just living. But when she met a man who was strong enough to sweep her off her feet, he was complete opposite to her. She was not sure whether she wanted her untamed life or her love. She didn’t know whether love would be enough for life… or is it her freedom that’s happiness for her. 

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Veda ...

“ ……  I don’t want to live anymore … “

He was reading part of a letter he wrote 10 years ago on the same day. Then he was done with life with nothing to hope more. Everything felt so blank and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But few minutes before he was going to do the most stupid thing in his life, his girlfriend stormed into his flat and announced that she was pregnant. And now she was his wife and they are parents to a beautiful girl, Veda.

Every time he sees his daughter, he finds himself thanking his stars for sending her to his life at the right moment. And at that moment he understood that everything happens for a reason and when God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. And for him, it was his little Veda.

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Uma ...

Uma’s 8-year-old son hugged her and said, “You are the best mom in the whole entire world!” She smiled and sarcastically replied, “How do you know that? You haven’t met every mom in the whole entire world.” Uma’s son squeezed me tighter and said, “Yes I have. You are my world.”  

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Tara ...

When Tara vowed to have and to hold him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever some 30 years ago, she and the people around her had their doubts. Would she make a good partner for him? Will she able to love him no matter what? So many such queries rode through her mind. But now at this moment, she knows despite any hurdles she would never leave her man alone. Not even for a moment.

Years before he was a handsome man who swept her off her feet. Even now despite his deep map of wrinkles and thick groomed silver white mustache he was a good looking man. And his eyes were twinkling with stories of his life and memories, even when they had never seen a ray of light before. She looked at him a smiled and led him out of their house of their evening stroll through the city. 

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Sara ...

"What if I won't be able to remember you one morning?"

... Sara asked him with filled eyes.

He cuddled her face, kissed her forehead and said ... 

"Don't worry... Even if you forget me, I won't. And I'll never let you go away from me. That’s a promise.”

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Ritu ...

Past:

A cup of coffee from here after work was Ritu's routine. Like her name depicts she was a season of changes. But in spite of any season this routine never changed. She had her own space there and her own time. It was an unspoken unwritten rule even among the cafe staffs that the corner space is reserved for her only at her time. But Ritu didn't know at another time of dusk someone else would be taking her place every day. And she definitely didn't know one day when both of their time collides, they would meet.

Present:

Every evening after work when both of them will be tired and stressed from work, when both of them have those worry lines, frustrated looks and stubborn weight on their shoulders, they meet over a cup of coffee. And with each sip all those worry lines and frustration just starts to evanesce. And when that very last ounce of coffee touch their lips, their minds will be like a clean slate on which anything new can be written. Is it the magic of caffeine or the power of each other's presence that's refreshing them?

At times they talk non-stop and at times they just are there next to each other with a peaceful silence deluging them. But whatever they do, after their ritual coffee meet they are rejuvenated to tackle life again with determination, peace and smiles. 

***

P.S.  The thought behind this is that of a friend's. I just scribbled his idea. 

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Qamra ...

She looked at the tiny bundle of joy in her hands. She looked so fragile. She whispered “Qamra” into her eyes. She was her moonlight in her darkness. She prayed Qamra would be always glowing like a moon. 

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Pari ...

Years before, when she and her better half, went to the convent to adopt Pari, that was the best decision they had ever took. When she became a widow at a young age, soon after Pari came home, everyone said it was because of the unlucky child that came home. But she held Pari close to her and it was only because of her daughter she was still living and happy. Now seeing her graduate as the best student in her college made her proud and beaming.

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