Ramblings

It's been days since I wrote something here. Everyday I open up this space of mine, feel proud of myself for this, then when I move towards the 'New Post' page I just stare at the screen and the blinking cursor ready to move in accordance with my words. Time flies... but nothing... absolutely no words, no verses, nothing comes. Failed and tired, I just close the whole tab and shuts down my laptop.

The days were hectic and tired. Emotionally. Everything seemed to be disturbing or wrong. Many were misunderstood, many were read incorrectly, many were hurt and sad. Was away for a couple of days and it was entirely different from my usual breaks. Never had the usual hangouts, celebs, noises or anything. Was a silent getaway from the crowd and that silence is still prevailing very loudly somewhere in me.

Uncertainty in life certainly makes a person think wider, broader and analyse oneself more closely to see his own words and deeds. I wished I had followed my heart in the past rather than the crowd. I wished I had the courage to face the not so good scenes. And in between I was entitled a fine of QR 500 for using mobile while driving. Crap! And at this point when the money rate has been rocketing like never before. And the funniest part is the way a police car came out of nowhere just to fine me. Dad and Mom still doesn't know that I was fined for mobile usage. Courtesy my speed! Yeah,  I know am a lousy driver. Big Deal!

And last days I was kinda practicing social hibernation! And very soon all my friends are gonna kick me dead. Saw Chennai Express and I was actually sad that I didn't enjoy the Block office hit that much. The only highlight was seeing SRK onscreen for straight two hours. One of my bestie is gonna throw away her bachelorette title and is gonna be Mrs in 10 days and I'll miss everything.

Is life all about missed occasions, opportunities, relations and uncertainties? Or is it the never ending thought process of mankind making these normal scenarios of everyday life exaggerated? I wish I had the capability to see the tomorrows.

P.S. I know all these doesn't make any sense or syn with each other. But at the moment this is how I feel. Completely disorientated mind!

P.S.S. Just some random ramblings to fill up the vacuum here.

God Blez all the randomness in Us.

It's raining Awards! :D

I first met Brandy during the A-Z April Challenge. And it was too good knowing her and her Jane Austen craziness, which even I share a bit. Now she have give me not one but two awards. 

Best Moment Award & Wonderful team Member readership Award. 

Awesome, No??

For accepting the Best moment Award all you have to do is write or record one or more of your Best Moment(s) and post an acceptance speech and then pass it along to someone(s) that you feel worthy of this award. 

     
                                                

I don't have a single Best Moment. I cherish all small happiness I get in life. 

A cup of coffee in the morning... is a Happy Moment.

A good book... is a Happy Moment.

Rain after long summer... is a Happy Moment.

A good long ride... is a Happy Moment.

Time with family/friends... is a Happy Moment.

A notification about a new comment in my Blog... is a Happy Moment.

Getting a chocolate... is a Happy Moment.

Unexpected call/msg from a friend... is a Happy Moment. 

................. All small things/moments/incidents that can put a Smile on my face is definitely a Happy Moment. And all these happy Moments altogether equals to my BEST MOMENT! :) 

Acceptance Speech : Beautiful Brandy, You are just awesome the way you are. The way you embrace life and your love for knowledge is always an inspiration. Thank you for this Award. And so glad I get to know you at-least through these Blogosphere. Maybe one day we'll meet in person, you never know...! ;) Love you Girl! 

Now passing this to a Dear Friend Bhavya! 

:)

                               

Next the, Wonderful Team Member Readership Award! 

The rules for accepting the Award.

1.  The nominee of The Wonderful Team Membership Readership Award Shall display his logo on his/her blog.

2.  The nominee shall nominate 14 readers they appreciate over a period of 7 days, all at once or little by little; linking to their blogs and telling them about it on their blogs.

3.  The nominee shall name his/her Wonderful Team Member Readership Award nominees on a post during 7 days. 

The 14 nominees are...... 

Bhavya from Ishittaa

Corinne from 'From 7Eight'

Shilpa from A rose is a rose is a rose!

Ankur from Tangled Vibes.

Afshan from The Pensive.

Shail from Shailsnest

Shelly from "Everyone is Special"

Preetilata from My White Window

Rowena from Designs By Row

Ann from (A) musings

Kristen

Shanique

Vandana Sharmaa

Manasa

:)

Dear dear ones,

In my lifetime, till date I have seen people who would be with me this moment and disappears the next. And there were times when I wished to hear them say an official bye.... atleast in dreams.

I am a person of proper goodbyes and farewells. Before going off to a place if goodbyes are said then the missing factor would be tolerable and I'll be at ease.

So if.... one day... maybe today, tomorrow or after 80 years, if 'm bound to disapper from your life, sooner or later, before or after you, what you all mean to me and the love I feel for you all will remain the same forever. So then if I couldn't say anything these words of my will talk to you for me.

Dad... You are the person I always looked upto. If 'm in trouble or despair I knew you would be always there for me. You taught me to be kind and empathetic to others. Showed me that giving out gives more satisfaction. Taught me how to be patient even when someone is provocating you. You gave me complete freedom and as I grow up I could see the influence a daughter could bestow on a father. You were one place I know I could never be criticised even if 'm wrong but would correct me in a way that I would never feel embarrassed.  You taught me that love is trust and letting out is trust. You are one of the best blessing I got in my life.

Mom... I know I couldn't be the best daughter to you. But I did try and the way you made me keep trying is what made me. I always tried to make you smile so I could see the smile in your eyes. But at times what you expected from me was quite different from what I wanted from myself. Sorry for letting you down at times. 

You showed me how strong a woman can be. We had our mother-daughter fights,  tears, hard core arguments, silly laughs and everything. There are things I could never accept of yours which you meant as good for me, but still you made me believe in myself and to be strong. Even thou 'm not near you, Mom just don't forget that I lived you and will love you and no words could convey how proud I  to be your daughter. And been in this another world, I promise to catch your tears before it fall down.

Sister Dear, I miss you. I missed you right from the beginning. Missed the elder sister with whom you share your first of everything. Your worst fears, worries, biggest secrets, love and life itself. Even if I have been the younger one, circumstances never allowed being that. No complaints in that, as I got enough and more of pampering’s. There was a time I wished I could share with you the same sisterhood bond every sisters did. Time when I wished to have a sister to sister talk, when I didn't know what to do next, how to move forward, and didn't know whom to ask. To know whether I am doing everything the way it is supposed to be. Time when I wished we could argue, point out each other's frailties, mistakes, and bad judgment, flash the insecurities we've had since childhood, and then come back together. Moments when I wished to become an aunt through you, to spoil your kids and act out as their second mom. But God obviously, always have other plans. But I never ever regretted for all these. Because, being who you are, made me what I am today to an extent. You taught me everything that I really needed to know. So I am happy for that. So no matter what, I will be always there for you. I know I could be rude at times, I am sorry for that. But I wanna tell you that I love you explicitly. Nothing would ever make any difference to that. Love you. :) 

Little brother is someone you could love like your first born, scold like your baby, fight with like a brat, advice like a sister, hangout like a friend and who tags along you 24*7. Even thou you are ten years younger than me, you were always like my best friend. I still can't believe that I have told you all about my insanity. I just don't know how much I love you.  But I would fight against the world even if you did something stupid. You are one person I am possessive about. But at times you are a pain in the ass with that arrogance of yours. But still a Sweetheart.  Dear, remember to be always there for our folks. Never let them down. Be the big boy for me. Follow your heart and instincts and if ever you have to face a dark spot in life, remember even from the other world, I'll shine brighter to remove the darkness around you and hold you closer. And how much you grow you'll always be that bundle of happiness I holded when I was ten.

One thing I know is, if 'm writing here about you, then you would have been my everything by now. And I would have loved you with all heart and without expecting or demanding anything in return. Coz for me loving is selfless, giving and to be there. But if I had died young, I wish you are not there in my life. Coz I don't want another one to know pain coz of me. I don't want you to remember me with tears and to make your life completely bereft of love. But if I had died old, glad I grew old with you. I hope I did make your life beautiful with whatever time I had in hand. I want you to promise me to keep your heart and soul open for love again. Coz you are worth it.

I don't know which world I am in and why I am here. But for everything there might be a reason. I don't know whether you all will read this or know about this but still I m writing this coz if one day suddenly I am taken away from my people, I don't want to embark upon a different world with a heavy heart. And with these words, I tried to share my love for you all. You people made my life blissful with your presence and I hope even I did so. And now, with all the words and byes out there, I could go with no pains, no disappointments, but with a free heart and mind leaving all the adversities. But I would miss this world, coz it taught me love. Even if you run busying yourself whole time, at the end of the day you come home seeking love and comfort. That's the lesson this world gave me.

Yours always, 

Me.

Ex-Best-Friends!

Today morning I woke up to the sound of a message knocking in my phone. It was a FB message from my Best Friend Ex-Best-Friend, inviting me to her marriage which is fixed to happen this month.

Years before when we, 3 friends,  completed our 12th, stood stubborn that if we are gonna join for a professional course then it will be in the same college. We didn't want to part our ways then. I who wanted to pursue literature but who lacked strong arguments to convince parents halfheartedly accepted to join for the professional course only coz of my two friends. What if I couldn't get my dream subject, at least can be with my friends... that was my thought.

Everyone who saw our bond was literally jealous and we are over confident about our relation. But this didn't last long. Misunderstandings and ego was stronger than our love. And we just went different ways. Been in the same college we just ignored each others presence. Years passed that ignorance reduced and once BFFs turned to acquaintances.

We used to to plan each other's wedding, how the guy should be, what to wear on the day... blah blah blah. We even thought of marrying from the same family so we could be sister in laws to each other. But now...??

We are just not in each others life. But are past of each one. We broke up not coz of anyone's fault, but coz of pure misunderstandings. And we were ego blinded to say sorry... coz no one did anything and waited for the other one to come forward.

After this dishum dishum of ours I met a person who made me realize that I can be as adamant as a King and as humble as a beggar. And today I do say Sorry to others even when I believe I am right. I understood that a relation is much more valuable than any ego.

Wish... I knew it before. Then, maybe today I would be writing about my best friend's marriage preparations and not this!

In life, it's given that we lose people. People will flow in and out like breeze through an open window, sometimes for reasons and sometimes for no reasons at all. We met as total strangers and ended as lifetime friends, we shared a season of our lives, but every season has to end!

Sunshine Award #1, #2 & #3 and a Liebster Award!

I have been presented these awards ages before. But I have been procrastinating them. But yesterday brandy again bestowed upon me two more awesome awards  and felt guilty for not doing the old ones. So here I am doing my old ones...

 I've been nominated by Shanique Roca and Brandy for the Sunshine Award and a 3rd Sunshine Award and a Liebster Award from Kristen. Thank you so much Girls! :) So much of appreciation in a row??!! It feels too good when other's read out what we write so randomly and make the effort to give their responses. 

The rules for the Sunshine Award:

• Include the award logo
• Link to the person who nominated you
• Answer 10 questions  
• Nominate 10 bloggers, link to their blogs and comment on blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

Brandy's questions to me:

1. Who is your sunshine? - My niece, Sharon :)

2. What is your favorite activity to do in the summer? - Fun with friends. :)

     

3. Do you suntan? If yes, real of fake bake? - No, I don't

4. Does the sun shine a lot where you live? - Yup a hell lot! I live in a desert now!

5. Finish thus phrase: Sunshine, happiness and... - Fun! :D

6. What is your favorite thing to do on rainy days? - If it's just a drizzle, then walking through it eating an ice- cream. And for heavy rain, then coffee and books! :)

7. Have you ever seen a solar eclipse? - Yup, Fortunately I have :)

8. Do you snack on sunflower seeds? If yes, what is your favorite flavor? - No

9. Have you seen the movie, Little Miss Sunshine? If yes, did you enjoy it? - Not yet, bu have added to the list. Asap will watch! 

10. What makes you feel like you are Walkin' on Sunshine? - Randomly, I feel so happy and end up smiling to myself without any reason. And that's my "Walking on Sunshine" moment. :)

Shanique's questions to me.

1. Favorite color - Black! 

2. Favorite animal - Never an animal lover.

3. Favorite number - 16! My birthday! :)

4. Favorite non-alcoholic drink - Lime.

5. Favorite alcoholic drink - I can't drink any alcoholic drink except for a sip. I can't digest it's taste.

6. Facebook or twitter? - Facebook, for sure.

7. Your passions - If able to touch a person's life, then its a dream happened through passion.

8. Giving or receiving gifts? - Giving! :) I just love to see the smile on the other person's face. :)

9. Favorite city - I always wanted to live in New York. Dunno why. But I was always fascinated about that city.

10. Favorite TV shows - Tom n Jerry :D

Liebster Award from Kristen

The rules:

• List 11 facts about yourself.
• Answer the 11 questions given to you
• Ask 11 questions to your nominees
• Nominate 11 upcoming bloggers.
• Go to each bloggers page and let them know about the award.
• Thank the person who nominated you.

"Seven Facts about myself". 

1. I love shoes. I love buying all those dashing dazzling colorful shoes/sandals. But right now I have on control from buying anymore.

2. Even thou I love Watches, I never really wear them, but as above like buying them. Buy now I make sure my brother buys only what I like, so I can also wear them if needed. And yea, I prefer gents watch over ladies.

3. I love chocolates at any time of the day/night.

4. I like scribbling out in diaries and there'll be always one in my bag.

5. I don't like tomatoes. But I like it's flavor, but as raw/cooked it's a No.

6. I don't like Maths, But i don't hate it.

7.  I still watch cartoons.

Questions from Kristen

1. What is your fav video game? Can include mobile/FB games. 

Nothing permanent. It just keeps on changing. Played Farmville for a while and temple Run also. But my first video game was Mario, and i absolutely love it.

2. Do you sleep on a very soft surface or a harder surface?

Super Soft comforter with lots of fluffy pillows :D

3. What is the most unusual food you have tried?

Aaah.... Not Yet!

4. What is your fav odd food (if any)?

NO!

5. What is the first sense you turn to describe something in your writing (taste, smell, touch, sight etc)?

Smell!

6. What is the cutest things you have ever seen in your life?

My Brother! ... When he opened his eyes for the first time to see this world.

7. What is the ugliest thing you have ever seen or experienced (this can have to do with feelings, or inner ugliness, etc)?

Death of dear ones.

8. Do you prefer typing or writing with a pen or pencil or paper?

Writing in paper with pencil or pen.

9. What is your fav thing to drink?

Soft drinks - Mountain Dew. 

Fresh Juice - Mango. 

Hot drinks - ME??

10. Do you prefer road trips, airline travel, train travel, or other (when going long distances)? 

Road trips and Train travel. I get bored during airline travel too fast.

11. What is your fav way to watch TV, movies, and videos? For example, do you watch everything on your computer or sling it to a big TV? Do you use a Tivo, a DVR, or Netflix? What is your set up?

P.S. I Love You!

 My Nominations for Sunshine Award 

(1) Ann  from (A) musings 

(2) Jules from A Dose of Jules

(3) Ida from Reflex Reflections

(4) Nina from Nothing

(5) A month of...Blog

(6) Heidi Mannan from Enchanted Pen  

(7) Miss Bates from Embrace yourself

(8) Christine from Inspired Life

(9) Afshan from The Pensive

(10) Preetilata from My White Window

My Nominations for Liebster Award

I am going to be very generous. Anyone can take this Award! :)