Sometimes I feel like I don't exist, life rushes
around me. People
The wind blows hardest downhill as I walk up hill,
but it passes right through me. My hands and feet feel numb, I glance to the
ground to steady myself and I notice I'm not casting a shadow.
The skies are usually dark in grim times, storm
clouds lingering overhead and they say "when it rains it pours". So I
chant that old lyric 'let it rain down on me...'
It's funny or at least a little odd the way
clouds can filter the colors of leaves and even flowers. Dark romantic hues
color the world around me and a nearby cast iron fence frames a garden like an
oil painting, but I stand grey.
They don't see me because I am not there, I was
never born...but merely, imagined. I am who 'she' would be had she not been
disrupted, this makes me somehow important as measure for comparison. As an
answer to an unasked question I float in the mist unrealized but not unwanted,
never embraced but always cared for.
So a message to you from the world of what could
or might have been...
Sheethal....I sincerely hope that you aren't questioning your existence. We care...and want you to stay....
ReplyDeleteAt times I do question my existence Sid.... that just keeps me sane ;)
DeletePoignant!
ReplyDeleteThanks Privy! :)
DeleteThis is haunting. I often feel the same way. I feel invisible. Sometimes I am glad that I am, and other times my soul rebels and wants more than anything to be noticed. This post is so deep and poignant. It struck a chord deep within me...because I can empathize. ♥
ReplyDeleteThere are times when I want be just invisible... to sort out myself, to think properly.... somewhat like ME-time. Guess everyone needs such a time...
Deletehave one question for you are you haunted by depression some time .. because this kind of thought's come's to me usually when i feel low .. or perhaps i'm just thinking as a sonder !
ReplyDeleteI am addicted to insane mood swings.... and this is the by product of such times...
Deletei tagged you for My Most Memorable Memento' Contest here believe in 'me'mento
DeleteThanks Ankur. Will do it asap! :)
DeleteOh yes, being invisible and being only in your own company is a must for everybody! It is the best way to keep yourself going and sane too :)
ReplyDeleteThere you are... Perfectly right! :)
DeleteI too feel it sometimes as if I'm invisible but I guess everyone feels it at a point of time.. Its a phase and just goes off with time!!
ReplyDeleteTrue Nibhz.... this is also a much needed phase of life... :)
DeleteI too feel invisible, not-mattering, insignificant at times, but I still think like a child and think something else. Just like thinking of someone else when you can't get an impossible crush out of your head.
ReplyDeleteI am not writing much because I really don't have much at the moment :-)
Feeling invisible is ok... but getting out of the is also very important!
DeleteHope you get back your muse very soon... :)
We will stay long and U always exist around me even if we didnt meet :) good to see u after long
ReplyDeleteThanks Afshan!!!
DeleteMuch love <3
Hmmm invisible.. nope don't do that, don't go disappearing on us.
ReplyDeleteNope.... never Tulika.... I'll be always around u guys ;)
DeleteVery existential post, Sheethal! Gave me goosebumps reading about your invisibility. And yet, I have to say, I can relate to that sensation of seeing everything pass me by while I stand still. Very eye-catching imagery you've used there.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shailaja :)
DeleteIn the rush, we sometimes don't feel that things are meaningful....but it does get better.
ReplyDeleteYea... always... get better with time..
DeleteDon't question your existence sweetie!
ReplyDeletePoignant post.. but, you are not invisible.. you matter and of course there is a purpose to your being here :)
hugs!
Hugs to you too .... <3
Delete