Wish u were here... !!

She lived in a state of constant pain. Nothing done or seen or touch does not remind her of her beloved.


Nights meant for those quiet moments..... talking..... laughing...... dreaming...... loving....  are now megaphones for her pain..... amplifying back so that it slams her into submission. There were no holiday’s..... there were no anniversaries..... no birthdays...... lest she counted the anniversary of her beloved’s death. She started counting the days since he left her. Her world was never right after he left her.... like a shattered glass it was destroyed to thousand pieces.... she tried to glue it together... and it did work.... but....... only for a short time. Gradually she understood dat a broken piece will always be broken... and evn if itz mended it wont look the same...!

Her life was never a fantasy. It constantly had it ups and downs... smiles and wales. But wen he came along, she turned every tears into smiles.... and every frown into a grin. She loved every bit of him.... his craziness....anger....laughter....beliefs....looks....attitude.....and wat not.! 

She got the wind of those life ending words.... with grief .... with shock. But she quickly composed herself... coz she never believed... there was noway she could make sure wat happened..... not ever in her life she felt dat lonely. Everyone she knew who was glad to help was helpless.... and those who could din...!! That was the night she learned to silence her tearz.... to hide her agony... and to act normal, in-spite of the burning sensation in her heart. The night wen she loathed the world around her... hated herself for being der.... for being soo damn helpless...!! 

She have been having a very hard time, comes in waves and some of them knocked her over. She lays in bed crying gasping for air as she prayed to be with him..... prayed for a miracle...... prayed that everything was jst a horrible dream...... nd not to wake up alone. But, she woke up, she have never been so sad to wake up in her life. But she did. 

In the beginning, she had a numbness that allowed her to exist. Then her memory turned into images like an old silent movie, flickers of images but no detail. Now.. Now she remembered details. It was like seeing fire, being burned before, knowing it will hurt, and sticking your hand in anyway. In her mind she inspected his face, his look, what did she miss, what could she have done to save him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But the thought of not having him near her...... kills her each moment. 


Badly wish you were here ... !!!!!