Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Jealousy is Normal - #J

Dear Daughter,

Have your felt that pang of jealousy hitting you at the most unexpected times? When a friend scores more than you, or gets better in life or looks more pretty than you, do you feel a burning in your chest?

I am not here to say jealousy is wrong. A little envy is so normal. But too much of it is not and to understand it and tackle the feeling and not let that ruin your peace of mind is the key. One main reason when this emotion engulfs you is when you feel insecure about yourself. When you doubt your worth. I have felt the same. And before it started ruining me I controlled it. There was an instance when I felt I was far behind my peers despite doing everything they did or sometimes much more. There came jealousy…an uninvited guest. The thought gave me some sleepless nights and I began to doubt myself. But my love for myself was much more than those rootless feelings I was able to kick them off.

All your life you are going to encounter this emotion. But there are somethings that can be done when you feel like jealousy is spreading out like a disease in your life. Like …

Surround yourselves with trustworthy, positive energized people. They boost your spirits like anything when you slide down.

Celebrate others success and be genuinely be happy in their growth.

Do what your heart says, and never let others opinions bother you. You might take a longer route to reach your destination but the journey is all worth.

Count your blessings and you’ll know that there’s no need to be envious about others.

Take a social hibernation once in a while. Social media is a highlight reel. We just put the best of everything there. Best pictures. Best check ins. Best quotes. Or life altering moves. Less than the best or even average is not been uploaded there by anyone. Keeping away from screen for something gives you time to look around and gain some confidence and me time. So unplug at the right time.

Never ever compare yourself with others. There’s always something better in him/her than in you and vice versa. Why waste your energy in this, when you can fixate on the positives in your life and in the lives of others?

So my dear child,

When self-doubt creeps in, when jealous peeps out and when you start running to beat someone else, understand that, “Jealousy is really perceptual. Nothing that you have is going to feel good if you’re constantly thinking there’s something else that’s better. Don’t focus on comparisons.”



I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 
“Letters to Dear Daughter… “


  1. Beautifully written! This actually made me feel so warm ad fuzzy inside! I'm glad I came across your blog on the A to Z challenge post :)

    J is for Judgement

  2. I also feel jealousy with my siblings many times
    This letter will be good lesson for the kids
    Thanks for sharing
    Dr bushra
    do visit mine
    J for Jubilant Yourself with the Healthy Diet for Pregnancy

  3. That's another valuable lesson to learn in life. Yes, jealousy is a disease. If it is not checked in time, it can consume us and destroy our mental peace and sanity.

  4. Hi, Shethaal, loved the way, you have told,how to handle the feeling jealousy. Agreed with you. I also wrote on Jealousy, today, but, from a different aspect. It is how about how the feeling grows in one's mind and how it will kill one's beauty. Hope, you also enjoy that. Here is the LINK

  5. Jealousy does a lot more damage than good! It's a human feeling on which no one has control but what we can try is no let it grow!


  6. Nice tips to keep jealousy at bay

  7. I just read another letter about jealousy addressed to the son! valid points here. and with girls its a bit more too! so, great advice.
    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

  8. Sensible and practical advise there...

  9. I was about to write about the same topic but jealousy among moms. It is not easy but a good thing to teach our kids as we learn from experience.

  10. "Nothing that you have is going to feel good if you’re constantly thinking there’s something else that’s better."
    Loved this line!
    It's the hard truth. We can never appreciate anything that we have if we are jealous!
    Happy AtoZing, Sheethal!
    Chicky @

  11. Great post! It's really worth bearing in mind that everyone has their own troubles and doubts, they're just not likely to put them out there to be chewed over. We shouldn't be jealous as most are just doing what we do - getting along the best we can.

  12. A very relevant post for our times, Sheetal! I feel social media offers lots of scope for jealousy, particularly considering how people only put the best of their lives on display here. I've felt exactly the same way you've described and am learning to deal with it!

  13. We've almost touched on common tips, except the one on surrounding yourself with positive people. That sounds like a good one. :)