Monday, September 11, 2017

Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.


Today I saw, no heard death, not once but twice. Morning I woke up to a blogger friend’s mom passing away and in the evening a colleague’s. She called me in between a meeting and said crying her mother was seriously admitted and chances are low. But after half an hour a call from India to me, confirmed her mom passing away. Till now we haven’t disclosed to her. When I went talk to her she hugged me and cried she want her mom and don’t want to lose her. She took away my strength.  

Tonight she’ll drift off to sleep, praying for her mom’s recovery. Tomorrow night she’ll reach her hometown to see her mom numb and cold. I cannot imagine her devastation. I cannot imagine both my friends’ loss.

I have seen death before. My grandparents, aunt, uncle, friends…

But one death that shocked me to the core was a friend’s. I was 20, at that time. I was taught that no harm will happen to good people. No destruction, no loss, no bad things will happen to people that do no harm to others. But when I lost him, I lost that belief. I lost my innocence and hope in goodness with him.  

It took me year to accept the reality and the fact that death is inevitable. It comes to the good and bad, rich and poor, young and old, friends and enemies and even to me. Death is the only area in life, where man is truly helpless and at the mercy of the ultimate power. Only time when man becomes nothing.

Death leaves you breathless. It takes away your sleep. It changes us. It breaks us. You seek them everywhere, you feel their presence, and you smell them, even when you know that they are not there. You still pray for a miracle even after you have buried them deep down. 
It leaves a permanent void in you, which no matter what happens, or time passes … will not heal, but will diminish the scar, really slowly.



And still, after years and decades there will be moments, when you will suddenly feel a heart trenching ache when you miss them just like that.

But if there’s a sunset, there’s a sunrise too. With a new morning you will definitely move on.

Still believing in goodness and still embracing hope. Praying that both my friends get immense strength and love to stay strong during this period. 

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. —James O’Barr



I am taking My Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa with BlogChatter. 
This is Post #4





29 comments :

  1. I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced today. How hard to be strong for your friends, but strength is what we need most when we ourselves are weak.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very very sorry to hear of the devastating loss, Sheethal. I have seen death up close and each time it takes away a piece of me. You're right. Death is inevitable. We all know it will come. Sometimes the unexpected nature of it renders us helpless. Other times, the unfairness of it all makes us angry and upset. There really is no one way to deal with the grief that comes with death. Praying that your friend and her family find the strength to deal with the loss. It's not easy. Sending prayers her way and yours too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You said rightly, each time death takes a piece from us.
      Thank you Shailaja. I too hope she can cope up with strength.

      Delete
  3. Death scares me. It's something I don't like talking about. But it's a truth we cannot deny. I'm scared everytime someone is sick or when we hear news like we do. Death is a permanence of heartache I feel and I'm truly scared of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am also scared. It shakes me up completely. But we are bound to face it one day, nah.

      Delete
  4. Death is painful and the sorrow inflicted by grief is painful. SOrry to hear about your hearing a series of bad news. But time heals and writing aides it. Hope you start feeling better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You so much Ramya. YEs. I am better just praying for them.

      Delete
  5. Oh I cannot even imagine how your friend would feel. My closest brush was in the form of my friend's Dad death. It broke her and it deeply impacted me. And what was worse was it happened on her bday. No matter what we say or do, it takes a lot of time to get over a loss. Love and hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh! It would have shattered you friend nah. Death is such a loss for anyone.
      Thank you Raj.

      Delete
  6. It's scary to even think about losing your loved ones. I ...can't!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Death is not easy to accept - the thought of never hearing/seeing your loved one again is devastating! I have lost a few people in my life (who were closest to me) and I dont think I will ever get over it. I pray for your friends and sending big virtual hugs your way Sheethal

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry to hear about both the losses Sheethal! These are the times when we feel so utterly helpless because other than accepting it we have no other option available to us and yet, death is so terribly final and so inevitable. I feel so shaken when I hear of a loved one or an acquaintance's loss ...takes me a long time getting over it. I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us ...hope both of them find the strength to bear their losses!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is very painful to lose someone. I know that. Been there in those shoes, and it doesn't get any easier with time, though many say that it does. It takes just a small trigger to bring memories back, because that's all you can hold on to now. :(

    ReplyDelete
  10. Death is scary and disturbing at any age. Even when a person passes on at a ripe and happy age after a fulfilled and happy life, we still get upset when we hear of it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very painful to even read about loss. Death leaves a wound that sometimes never heals.
    Hope your friends find strength to move on.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Beautifully written. Death is a part of life you have to accept, but the people who pass away always have a presence in you and your life, as a feeling, a memory or an inspiration. They always stay! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe in that. They're always near us.
      Thank you. :)

      Delete
  13. You said what I have been holding for almost 20 years. Lost a friend from college, a gem of a person, most loved soul in the whole college. But then God too did not want to be without him too. He was my pillar of strength and still is, whenever great things happen to me, I feel he has blessed me.

    This post must have been difficult to write, but you wrote it really well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This blog was born because of him. This was my getaway from that loss. Whenever things going great, I feel blessed too. It's the sign of their presence.
      Hugs Varsha.

      Delete
  14. It must be terrible what your friend is going through and worse is what awaits her. This is the trouble of people living abroad. They miss being with their loved ones in moments when they need them the most. It is sad. But life must be lived, goals must be reached and your own family needs you. I do pray for their peace. Death is scary and you never know how it will leave you feeling when someone close passes on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We were scared of what might come. But fortunately she had her whole family to hold her and support her. And she's getting back to life. Death is always scary, it just leaves us tarnished.

      Delete
  15. Very sorry about your and your friends' loss. Death is painful especially when witnessed in your age. I witnessed death of a friend at a tender age of 15, it was horrifying. Although I could never find out cause of her committing suicide, her memories have never left me ever since. I wish I could have offered her support in her trying time which I was completely unaware of at that time.

    ReplyDelete