Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Don'ts of a Girl - #D




Dear Daughter,

Today let's talk about the Don’ts. In a society like ours you're going to face so many Don'ts, even for the smallest things you do. So let me give you a heads up on them …

Don't play with cars or superheroes, its dolls for you.
Don't talk too loudly, girls only talk in hushed voices.
Don’t sit with legs apart, it’s not feminine.
Don't run or jump around or do sports like boys, you’ll build muscles.
Don't wear short dresses, you're asking for it.
Don't use bold lip colors, its provocative.
Don't travel alone, esp. after dark, you’re putting yourself in danger.
Don't make friends with so many boys.
Don't be too ambitious, you should be more concerned about your family.
Don't act bold, that’s not your cup of cake.
Don't be stubborn, you will be tagged a feminist.
Don't take your own decisions, because we know better.
Don't wear jeans or such so called boy's attire, people will talk.
Don't contradict with your elders even if they're wrong, they have seen the world more.
Don't dream about a life of your own, it’s a crime.
Don't live for yourself, it’s selfish.
Don't indulge in your dreams, that a sinful leisure.
Don't raise your voice even if someone abuses you, women are supposed to tolerate.
Don't fight against people who try to destroy you, women should forgive.
Don't think you can have a peaceful, secure and carefree life, that’s not your right.
Don't …...
Don't ……
Don't ……
Because you're a girl!

My precious precious child... 

Do whatever you want to do as long as it's right for you. Live your life the way you want. You're created as a human being by the Divine Power with equal rights and freedom as he created every other man. So no one, absolutely no one has the right to tell you "No" just because of your gender. As long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong or don't have to lie you have the complete freedom to do your heart. 

Just keep in mind... If you don't have to lie or feel embarrassed/guilty about something you did, then you did the right thing.

Yours,

Me.  

I'm Participating in the #AtoZAprilChallenge with the theme .... 
“Letters to Dear Daughter… “




44 comments :

  1. Love your expression: complete freedom to do your heart. You offer your daughter sound advice. Wise to add the caveat: As long as you're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong or don't have to lie.

    http://poetryfromthelanai.com

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  2. Love it! We've all gone through this, I suppose - if not from parents, then relatives, or that aunty next door at least. Bleh! Live your life, I say :)
    Thailand Travel Stories at Kohl Eyed Me
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  3. Just imagining all the don'ts for a girl frustrates me. All these remarks have been, in someway or other, been passed to us. I like how girls are so much smarter to ignore them and move on.

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  4. This has such a powerful message to it! Shame girls are being tamed even in the age of Trump...... oh wait.... of course *outburst of anger* I honestly don't know where our society is heading to.

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  5. Dear Daughter
    Don't be daunted by don'ts, don't don't yourself. thanks for writing this.

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  6. Been there, done that! It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I don't have to listen to these Don'ts. We put too much pressure on girls. It's got to change!

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  7. Remembered my childhood and teen years; its better now for sure but some more did get added in the adult years too!!
    I guess my reaction has change dto these donts over the years!

    Theme: Peregrination Chronicles (travel)
    D is for Dolphin Delight in Goa #atozchallenge

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  8. That's amazing list of don't every mother teach his kids
    Impressed a lot with your Yoga skills, Get to learn a lot
    Beautifully written Thanks for sharing Discover how testing in First Trimester ensures a healthier pregnancy

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  9. "Don't laugh so loud" is what I've grown accustomed to hearing! Never pay any heed to it though! :P ;-)
    I would write "MOST IMPORTANT" on the top of this letter.
    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com

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    Replies
    1. That's one of the frequent statement which I heard and still hear being a 28 year old grown up - Don't laugh too loud - are you a boy!**

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  10. The don'ts in the life of a woman are way too many and almost every one has the 'right' to restrict and curb her expression. Sad!

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  11. Such a lovely lovely letter!! We all need words like this from our parents. Absolutely loved this one Sheethal :)

    Doctors and Dentists

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  12. This is absolutely touching and true. I can so relate. More power :)

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  13. This is what I would tell my children too, do whatever you want as ong as you feel it is right
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    * http://www.simpleindianmom.in/organic-vegetable-garden-i-atozchallenge-i-aprila2z *

    *SimpleIndianMom*

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  14. This holds so true! And the moment a child is born, we start genderising them! Pink stuff for girls, blue for boys! And that's how the girl becomes petite and boy becomes strong!

    Cheers
    BoisterousBee

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  15. day by day, each letter is making me wanting more... You captured vry aptly about the DON'Ts in our society... Hope we will get rid of them soon. Struggle is on....

    "Deep Down in a Ditch" #AtoZChallenge

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  16. I think it's important for both boys and girls to have boundaries. It's lovely to think they can be free to do whatever feels right to them, but society doesn't allow that. I think it's about building self-esteem and self confidence and independence and modelling good choices - then they instinctively know what is right for them.
    Leanne | cresting the hill

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  17. I wish and pray to the Almighty every mom of a tiny angel on this earth is like you buddy :)

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  18. That's a beautiful letter. We need more parents who are open minded like this!

    Divya Discovers a nearby Drawing Class

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  19. Sound advice...just don't listen to the donts

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  20. So many expectations, all of which seem to have the common goal of keeping women down. If there must be don'ts, lets have ones like "don't let anyone tell you you're not good" "Don't stop until you're happy" and the like
    Debbie

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  21. If I had a daughter, I'd have given the same advice. High-time we women need to stand up for for all these don'ts.

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  22. Perfect! It's a pity, more mothers don't advice their daughters like this. And the woman grows into a trap of the society's setting with all the don't's holding her prisoner.Beautifully written.

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

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  23. Great post...!! <3 :)
    https://outfitsandmakeupblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/31/signature-scent/

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  24. Powerful post, hope that it reaches the people who blame girls for wronging(doing wrong) with the ladies!

    http://slimexpectations.com/2017/04/1339/

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  25. Wow - interesting theme! And you're right. So many dont's for the girls!

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  26. My motto should the day ever come to advice a child would be simple - do whatever you want as long as you don't intentionally hurt someone. That is good enough for me.

    Godyears.net

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  27. Yes, being a girl/woman is so difficult with all the donts the society imposes on us. But yes, we must understand that we dont have to listen to all these donts!

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  28. I am loving your letters Sheetal. I seriously wish society in general didn't have set norms!

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  29. I don't forgive, I am stubborn as hell, I talk aloud. ..and YES I am called a FEMINIST, and trust me I am proud of it. It brings me pride like nothing else.
    Be yourself, maybe it will please less people surrounding you, but it will connect you with the right ones and definitely please yourself.
    As an adult I really want this letter to reach as many teenage girls as possible, they need to know they are just enough the way they are and they do not need to hide themselves.

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  30. Oh the don'ts. Somethings need so much more time to change. :(

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  31. The interesting thing is that at least one don't had a good reason behind it, originally. When women wore skirts and petticoats, you wouldn't want to spread your legs apart because often, the fuller petticoat would then be unsupported and free fall to the floor (and get dirty). But knowing why that don't existed makes it's purpose clear--don't worry about the mores of a past that are no longer applicable but are carried over anyway. (Full skirts were also the reason women had doors opened for them, help with their chairs at the table, etc. fashion dictated manners, but if you aren't following the fashion, the manners no longer make sense).

    Thanks for sharing!
    Andrea Lundgren
    www.andrealundgren.com

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  32. What's interesting is so many don't originated, not from our gender, but in consideration for our clothes. When women wore full skirts and petticoats, a different set of "don'ts" applied, but we seem to have carried over the mores without the reason behind them. Like "don't spread your legs apart" is actually very practical advice when wearing a petticoat because doing so left the petticoat unsupported, and if it were fuller than the skirt (as it often was), the petticoat would free fall into view and could even get dirty.Similarly, things like having doors opened for us or being helped up to the table while getting into our seat were practical helps when one wore that sort of garment but is no longer needed now.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Andrea Lundgren
    www.andrealundgren.com

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  33. Excellent post! Right on the mark. Sometimes I want to have a tattoo on my wrist that just says, "DO"!

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  34. I would love to have a daughter in future. In fact I would be happy with a single child if it's a girl. I'll ask her to do everything she wants and I'm gonna break the skull of anyone in the society who asks her not to do what she wants or points a finger at her. I'll be a bad-ass dad! :D

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  35. I want to be your daughter πŸ˜‡πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜

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  36. You can do and you can be whatever and whoever you want to be. Don't let the don'ts come your way!

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  37. I love this one!!! I got some of those don'ts. I hated the don't sit with your legs apart or don't talk loudly...I also got girls don't laugh loudly! Gah!!

    Diamante - Lifespan

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  38. It is so important for every girl to be told this and not just once, every once in a while before the world could mess with her mind!

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