Yesterday while rummaging through some
old picture folders in my PC came across my betrothal and marriage pictures.
There were just few pictures which I actually liked, the rest of them were all
mandatory family and couple pictures. I'm not blaming the photographer. I was
not a very cooperative bride. I was busy doing or arranging stuffs for both the
functions either with my eyes or hands or emotions or mind.
I cannot even remember a moment I felt
relaxed or happy or enjoying the moment. During my betrothal's reception, I was
worried whether everything will be fine. Whether the cake will reach at the
right time? Will everyone like the decor? Will the food be enough? I forgot to
take picture alone with my brother, best friend or even parents. When it was
time to get my single pictures, I was busy settling the hotel and decor
bill.
During marriage it was just one moment,
which the truth of 'I'm getting married'
actually struck me, the moment before he was tying the knot. Till then, I was
like this bouquet is heavy, I told them I wanted a light weight one and still they
gave me this. Gosh, these heels are killing my feet. My veil!. OH! Yea should
smile. Then then lighting stricked and I was like. What the hell am I doing
here? Who's this guy standing next to me? Am I doing the wrong thing? Do he
even know me? And even before I finished thinking the marriage was done, and
the priest was blessing us to have 100 kids.
Then everything in the reception was
dizzy. A saree which refused to sit still, some guests who wanted time to tease
the newlyweds and a picture, others who expected me to remember them from my
baby years, friends whom I wanted to just take away to some faraway place and
just have some wine, but just got time for a hug, music which everyone
applauded and I didn't even notice. Everything was like a mirage.
I can't remember …
One moment I was utterly happy.
One moment where I was at ease.
One moment where I didn't think about
anything else but me.
One moment where I believed everything
was just fine and I could let out that breath I was holding.
One thing I learned from this is, what
matters is your happiness. No matter what you do, if you are not happy or if
you fail to enjoy the moment then everything else is absolute nonsense.
“Be present in all things and thankful for all
things.”
― Maya Angelou
― Maya Angelou
Linking this with #MondayMusings by EverydayGyaan
True. I know that I worry about a lot of things that could go wrong, even when something is going right right at that moment. This becomes a nice reminder to be in the moment, and create that memory for the future :-)
ReplyDeleteWe always tend to forget to live in the moment.
DeleteSometimes we miss the important moments, while worry about the unimportant details!
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteHaa haa haa we all had a tiresome day during our marriage .It's truly a circus .Happiness is an inside job I feel .The stress of it all can suffocate it.
ReplyDeleteYes, happiness is an inside job, which we tend to forget always.
DeleteDetails keep us so busy that we forget the moment. Lovely quotes you have shared. At least you acknowledge it. Do share your wedding pics, I am sure you looked resplendent!
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you. Weddings are never stress free. Frankly I have never seen a bride who is without any worry on her wedding day. But I agree, we need to enjoy the moment rather than worry over small details.
ReplyDeleteThis is just so true. Some of our happiest moments are lost in stress. Weddings in particular are so stressful for the bride and the groom and their entire families.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post. The pictures that we rummage through brings alive the best moments in life. I think it's normal to freak out with all the preparations but happiness rides above everything.
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence says it all. Be present and enjoy now. :)
ReplyDeleteOh! Yeah, marriages can be stressful. I was kind of nostalgic reading about this. Thankfully I have an army of family who are super excited when it comes to arrangements, so that part was not on me.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I had a similar experience during my wedding...so I could totally relate to your feelings. I can look back at it today and think of me as doing anything but "enjoying the moment" that day! Today, though, life has taught me to be much more tuned in to things that matter most. Loved this honest post!
ReplyDeleteVery right, if u r not at ease or not happy then all else is just a waste
DeleteSo true i wish they dont create such a hoopla about marriage as they do in india
ReplyDeleteHey all weddings go by in a fugue state. But I do think you are right in being there at the moment and enjoying it. Even if you were busy doing things at your wedding and betrothal, I'm sure you were immersed in the moment of doing things, therefore, in your own way, you enjoyed it. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteMarriages are always so stressful. Every bride wants a perfect wedding and sometimes reaching for perfection makes us lose sight of the happiness. Well written
ReplyDeleteI totally get it. I had the same feeling . The garland is too heavy , can I take it off, and why is this not like that. But I started enjoying only once the pandit started saying the mantras, he cracked jokes and made us laugh. And there is this one pic where both of us are laughing . We forgot everything and everyone else.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Sheethal ! Honest to the core. Moments of reflection and introspection when we discover the beauty of mindfulness, albeit a bit late in the day. But you know, brides are a bundle of nerves and can't really blame you for being one :)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes,next time you meet that priest, tell him Gandhari had 100 sons and they stopped prescribing that ever since Mahabharata got over :)
Agree wholeheartedly!! Had similar emotions during my own wedding and even now when I look back :)
ReplyDeleteOn my marriage day.. my close friend told me you wont realise what happened and you would be married..thats exactly what I felt. So many things running around that you dont know what to focus on. You are anxious. Phew
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Weddings are tricky days, especially for the families involved. For the bride even more so. Everybody is at our disposal and we literally have nothing to worry about except "worrying about everything". Kind of an irony there.
ReplyDeleteOn my wedding day too, I was stuck with everything being perfect that after the first 2 hours, I became numb to my own feelings and the day went by in a blink. The only memories I have are of the time when I was worrying! Imagine that!!