Monday, September 16, 2013

Happy Onam :)


Today is Onam. In and around my hometown. Our King Maveli who was sent deep in to the earth's womb would be coming up to visit his people. Everyone will be welcoming him with the best foods, clothes, flowers , happy minds and Smiles.

Onam, the most celebrated festival in Trivandrum … The traffics, traditional attire, pookalam, food fest, trade fair and mini-amusement park in the Kanakakkunne Palace premises, the illuminated trees and walk ways … ...

 The festy times like these makes me realize that ‘m seriously in a foreign country, where everything and everyone is foreign. Being here away from home, i miss the craziness of Trivandrum.

 But where ever u are, the harvest festival will definitely make u happy and smiling.


P.S. Happy Onam to all near, dear and far ones. Enjoy to the fullest.


God Blez. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Suicide is Permanent but not our Problems.


Dear Dad,

Can I ask, how are you? I know, I, your pride, sweet stubborn, little girl, who broke your heart to thousand irreparable pieces, have no right to ask you such a question. 

I am sorry Dad. But don't hate me, please...

I don't know whether I am in heaven or hell or anywhere else. When I left my earthly body and came here, I was greeted by an Angel. He showed me what happened after I left. He showed how, while everyone was crying out their loss, you were clutching to my lifeless cold hands and asking in your mind, " Why?... Why you did this? .... Why?...". 

Dad, I didn't knew, I would cause this pain in you.

I tried to be strong. I tried to ignore everything that was happening to me. I tried to look at the brighter side and move on, but Dad, I didn't see anything or anyone. All I saw was, pitch black darkness around me. I know, I let you down. Life didn't turn out the way everyone and I thought it would be. Life just started losing all it colors. Never in life I felt that lonely, like that, one moment. Never till then, I wanted someone to hug me and just be with me.

With more than thousand friends in FB and hundreds in my phone list, I didn't find one person I could share myself with, or just cry to without any inhibitions. I tried to talk to you, but didn't want to burden you. I thought you would  understand without me saying anything, but no. When I smiled and laughed you thought I was OK and happy. But with every smiles I was losing hope.

Dad, the Angel here, showed how my life would have turned out, if I didn't surrender to that dark moment. I saw how everything would have been OK with time. Saw "my supposed to happen" wedding day. And Dad, I looked beautiful ;) and you were dashing too. And you were so openly, shamelessly proud and beaming and telling all the people around, "it's my little girl's big day"... haha... Dad, you looked so cute then.

And Dad, you know what, I was to have a baby girl, like I always wanted. I saw the happy tears you had in your eyes, while holding your grandchild with utter most softness. And you were to be her favorite grandparent. My life, "if it wasn't for suicide" just played in front of my eyes like a movie.

I'm so sorry, I made you miss all this from life. I destroyed every ounce of happiness that was to happen, just cos, I couldn't bear a moment's pain. I couldn't think straight. I just lost myself that one moment. One moment that changed everything.

I wish... if it was all just a dream. I wish... I didn't do it. I wish, I was not dead. Dad, I want to come back to you. I want to live my life. I wish, I was still alive.

But once dead is always dead.

I don't know if I'll have one more life as a human. But, if I am blessed with one, I want to be your little girl once more. And I promise... I promise whatever happens, how bad life turns out, I would never ever leave you like this.

I don't know how this letter of mine will reach you. But this angel promised to deliver this to you promptly. Maybe through a dream. However it is, I just wanna let you know how sorry I'm... but Dad, you are the best father a daughter could dream of and I love you implicitly.

Yours Little Girl forever!



*******


This is written for Write Tribe for a cause in which we all want to make a difference. 

World Suicide Prevention Day-September 10.

Please us the hashtag #suicideprevention to tweet/share on Facebook.




                                  If you or a friend are considering suicide please call the 

                National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273- (8255). It is free and confidential.











Sunday, September 8, 2013

My favourite Friend.


Seventh and the last day of Festival of Words. It was truly a festival with lots and lots of words, stories, personal experiences, excitement and happiness.

Glad I took part in this and get to meet so many more bloggers. Thanks to Corinne and to all the brains and imagination behind this.

Today for my last post of this series I am taking inspiration from Richa's theme, "Seven things about the first person I get to see each morning". If you haven't yet been to her space.... just rush! :)

But here it's not the first person I saw today, but about a person who influenced me years before and still doing.


Midhun aka MRM aka M.

1. A 6 feet (somewhere near) macho man. An athlete. You can't just ignore his presence. If he's somewhere near, then he'll definitely hit your eyes.

2. A person with immense love for his family and friends and who don't hesitate in showing that. He made sure everyone knew that family and friends are his first priority. And he's extremely possessive about them.

3. No permanent rivalry with anyone. He would be your enemy this moment, but if you are in need, he will be the first person to give his hand.

4. He's the one person who taught me to find happiness in small things. If one feels happy only when something great happens, then he'll have to wait long for that, but when one finds happiness in small small things, then he'll be always happy. 

5. A lover of branded stuffs, right from sunglasses to cars. And he's always impeccably dressed and should say he got great sense in choosing his and others (which includes women too) attire.

6. He's a females person. Chic magnet!!! (as Richa describes one of her friend). He's just too good with words and the way he talks. And the best part is no girls will feel offended talking to him. He got great Respect for women.

7. We used to fight a lot through phone as we were seas apart. As am a very stubborn female,  it doesn't take much time for his patience level to reach the peak point. And if you thought he will blast out, never! He, in his most sweet, calm, ever loving tone will say "Bye... take care... talk to you tomorrow"... and just disconnects the call. Grrrrr... that's the way he expresses his anger. 

Thank God for that. Or else we would have killed each other a zillion times by now.

He's not perfect. But I call him the 'Imperfectly Perfect Man'.

He left this world Four years ago. But the strength with much he is remembered by all of us, even now just surprises me. I have seen many people near and far pass away, but this is one is still living more strongly each day through his dear ones. It's like his friends and family near lets anyone forget that he was here among us and still is...

Recently I talked to a mutual friend of ours. He said he still couldn't accept the fact that M was gone. Even thou it's years since he's gone, the vaccum he left is still the same. Guess that was the power of the life he led and his love for others.

We all think about life after death at one point or the other. But, I wish to live in the hearts of my dear ones like he lives now and forever.






This is my Seventh post to Write Tribe Festival of Words.


Friday, September 6, 2013

That Moment...


She stood there looking out to the vastness of the sea, holding both her children's hands strongly and closely to her. 

Standing there without nothing more to hope for or any farfetched dreams to achieve she felt completely destroyed. It's said that as you near to your last minutes of life, your whole life is flashed through mind as if, it's some movie.

She saw her journey from a child to a beautiful bride to the wife of an alcoholic to the mother of her two children. Her seven years of marriage was not as expected. Living with a man who's only priority is alcohol was not easy. But still she couldn't leave him. Maybe the thought of her children growing fatherless bothered her. She found refuge in her job. But the debts her husband made was too much that creditors began to bother her wherever she went. They never left her in peace at home, public places or even at her work space. And that was the last thing she could take. She left him and her home and went to her father's.

But the thought of been alone with so much burdens bothered her. Taking the easiest way out of all the problems was her only solution. And that's why she's here with her little ones, to be a part of the roaring sea and to go deep down.

While still looking out to the vastness, she felt her son clutching to her more strongly, as if he didn't want to let her go. That simple gesture of faith in him woke her. Why destroying her children's dreams and lifes' just cos their father turned out to be wrong? What did they do?

"No, I can't kill my children. They are mine. I can't let them go... " .... hugging and crying her heart out she holded them more tightly towards her....  forever!

P.S. Shared by a friend from a real life account.


This is my sixth post for Write Tribe Festival of Words.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Womanhood!


During the ABC April Challenge, the only thing I used to chant 24 hours was the alphabet of that day. Now fast forwarding to 5 months from then, I'm still chanting, but now it's Seven... Seven... Seven.......

Yesterday during the gospel preaching part of the evening mass, the Priest choose to explain about Mother Mary. She was one perfect lady seen in this world. (No offences to any other religions and the women portrayed there.) All the qualities that a woman should have was heavenly bestowed upon her.

A woman comes in all colors, shapes and size. They bring hope and love, values and virtues, compassion and empathy, energy and wisdom along with them. They know that a kiss or a hug or just a smile can ease a heart break. Woman can be kid to her father, a friend to her mother, a supportive yet naughty sister to her brother, a companion for her male friends, the gossip queen to her girl friends, a responsible yet a spoiled wife to her better half and a loving mom to her child.

Being a woman we are entitled to many privileges and 'our only rights' and which we tend to utilize at it's best. ;)

So today for my Seven"s thought of celebrating my womanhood.

1. No person in this universe will love you like your mom. Whatever you do, she may scold, crip or even shout at you but at the of the day she'll be there to hug you, console you and kiss away your tears and fears.

2. A woman understands her man, her kids like no one. Even if her dear once are seas apart, she feels what her child feels. And will be a call away to support him. She intuitively sense when something is wrong even if she's in the middle of multitasking.

3. She is sensitive. A woman is sensitive to others tears and sorrows. She rarely turns her head away from the needed. We all learnt the virtue of caring and sharing from the ladies of our family.

4. She is loyal to her loved ones. When she loves a person she is willing to do anything under the sun for him/her, even if it hurts her.

5. She can be your best friend, supporter, critic, counselor and partner in crimes.

6. Even when she look fragile outside, she's one strong hearted person.

7. She maybe stubborn, arrogant and proud like a King now, but the next moment she can be as humble as a child.

If the world can see a mother in every woman, then the world will respect her and love her for who she is. :)






This is my Fourth post for Write Tribe Festival of Words.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Change myself?

As a person I love myself so much. Like Kareena Kapoor says in Jab We Met, "My favourite is me itself".

But no human being is perfect. And I accept that wholeheartedly. I believe that no one is white or black but is a shade of gray. Even when I prefer myself over anyone else there are certain things I wish to change in me.

1. Be more assertive: Telling No to a person is a big heartache for me. If it's a stranger 'm ok, but not to a dear one.

2. To able to play along the middle: I am one extreme individual. Nothings in the middle for me. Either this end or the other. If I love a person then I would give anything or everything and if I hate then there's no one with more worse attitude than me. Actually hate is a pretty strong word. I won't hate, I would just ignore him/her from my life for long.

3. Mood swings: I have one of the worst mood swings you have and will ever see.One second I'll be happy go lucky girl, the next I'll be that rotten cranky female. Once a friend commented that a chameleon is much better than me, coz we can predict the color it will adapt according to it's surrounding but I am not even that predictable.  ;)

4. Stubbornness: I usually don't budge from my opinions and decisions. And at times that hurts people.

5. Visualise the future: I am never bothered about my tomorrows. I live the moment. If someone asks me about my plans for the next day, my reply would be, "let's see if tomorrow comes". Don't take me as a pessimist, I am tagged as the biggest optimist ever by my peers.

6. Extrovert in expressing myself: I am an introvert when it comes to express my feelings or problems. I share my happiness with others but my dark moments are for myself.

7. To able to cry: To cry without any inhibitions or unconcerned about the people around me is my biggest dream. Except for my immediate family only one or two friends have seen, no heard me crying through phone.

So that was my "I wish I could change..." behaviours of mine. What's yours, if any?




This is my third post written for the Write Tribe Festival of Words.


Monday, September 2, 2013

Dark is Beautiful.


I am dusky/brown skin complexion. But till date by God's grace I never had to face any problems or harassments due to that. Maybe coz I was taught and grown up around people where a person is seen beyond her skin color and for the color of her soul. Recently I came across 'Dark is Beautiful' campaign and happened to read many testimonials of people who had faced not so good moments cos of their skin color.

For centuries fair or light skin has been a symbol of prominence, superiority and higher social ranking. An Indian girl's marriage proposals and her worth have been and still often are governed by the hue of her skin and I guess it happens mostly in North India (correct me if 'm wrong). Skin whitening products market is just rocketing nowadays and is almost a billion dollar industry with some outrageous products that lightens even your underarms and private parts.

But brown skin have it's own advantages. So I thought of penning down Seven such plus points bestowed upon us due to our complexion.

1. Diverse ... From brown chocolate to dark chocolate, from warm caramel to sweet cinnamon our skin comes in myriad of shades. And all are equally Beautiful.

2. Kissable ... I never hesitated to step into the sun at any time of the day, except when my headaches bothers me. Been dusky gives an added advantage to embrace sun whenever you want without fearing much about its UV rays.

3. Unattainable ... I always love to hold closer something that is unattainable to others. My skin for example. The western world yearns for a warm glowing skin and we Indians, just wanna get rid of them which we got without going to the beach or any tanning saloons.

4. Luminous ... There's something radiant about our skin. Whether sun kissed or naturally almond roast. A 24x7 glow is something that's gifted to us.

5. Versatile ... Brown blends so easily with others. Like wise our brown hues go great with anything. It just pops against the bold and bright blues, reds, yellows and pink and tags along with light shades and gives a contrast against white and black.

6. Delicious ... Chocolate is the most delicious food ever. Should I explain more?

7. Bye Skin cancer .... Another advantage to having more melanin is that we are less susceptible to skin cancer.

Every women is beautiful despite her skin or her features. A woman should be judged for the daughter, grandchild, friend, aunt, wife and mother she is and not for her complexion. Kudos to all dark/brown/wheatish/black/white women out there.

We all are just beautiful the way we are.



This is my second post written for the Write Tribe Festival of Words.


Sunday, September 1, 2013

Confusing Seven.


Seven day Festival of Words. When I saw this in Corinne's page for the first time in FB I so badly wanted to sign in. And after I did, I promised myself that it would be different from the ABC April challenge. I thought I would brainstorm for ideas early and post in advance. But alas! Nothing like that happened. Even now 'm so stuck with seven day ideas. Grrrrrrr!!!! I should have kept away from all this chaos and enjoyed reading and commenting on the blogs rather than creeping out here.

So what I am gonna write today,

Have absolutely no idea. Maybe be about the,

Seven wishes in my wishlist
Or 
Seven exotic places I wanna visit
Or 
Seven deadly sins every time priests warn about before confession time
Or 
Seven dream careers
Or 
Seven public figures I have a crush for
Or 
Seven stupidities I wish I hadn't done
Or 
Seven random posts about nothing at all...





Or can I consider this one as my first post for the challenge? 

Bingo!

Wicked, No?

With this short, lazy post I welcome myself and all other participants to this Festival. And 'm gonna come up with more serious..(huh)... posts!!! Fingers Crossed!!!



This is my first post written for Write Tribe Festival of Words.