Monday, August 5, 2013

Dear dear ones,


In my lifetime, till date I have seen people who would be with me this moment and disappears the next. And there were times when I wished to hear them say an official bye.... atleast in dreams.

I am a person of proper goodbyes and farewells. Before going off to a place if goodbyes are said then the missing factor would be tolerable and I'll be at ease.

So if.... one day... maybe today, tomorrow or after 80 years, if 'm bound to disapper from your life, sooner or later, before or after you, what you all mean to me and the love I feel for you all will remain the same forever. So then if I couldn't say anything these words of my will talk to you for me.

Dad... You are the person I always looked upto. If 'm in trouble or despair I knew you would be always there for me. You taught me to be kind and empathetic to others. Showed me that giving out gives more satisfaction. Taught me how to be patient even when someone is provocating you. You gave me complete freedom and as I grow up I could see the influence a daughter could bestow on a father. You were one place I know I could never be criticised even if 'm wrong but would correct me in a way that I would never feel embarrassed.  You taught me that love is trust and letting out is trust. You are one of the best blessing I got in my life.

Mom... I know I couldn't be the best daughter to you. But I did try and the way you made me keep trying is what made me. I always tried to make you smile so I could see the smile in your eyes. But at times what you expected from me was quite different from what I wanted from myself. Sorry for letting you down at times. 

You showed me how strong a woman can be. We had our mother-daughter fights,  tears, hard core arguments, silly laughs and everything. There are things I could never accept of yours which you meant as good for me, but still you made me believe in myself and to be strong. Even thou 'm not near you, Mom just don't forget that I lived you and will love you and no words could convey how proud I  to be your daughter. And been in this another world, I promise to catch your tears before it fall down.

Sister Dear, I miss you. I missed you right from the beginning. Missed the elder sister with whom you share your first of everything. Your worst fears, worries, biggest secrets, love and life itself. Even if I have been the younger one, circumstances never allowed being that. No complaints in that, as I got enough and more of pampering’s. There was a time I wished I could share with you the same sisterhood bond every sisters did. Time when I wished to have a sister to sister talk, when I didn't know what to do next, how to move forward, and didn't know whom to ask. To know whether I am doing everything the way it is supposed to be. Time when I wished we could argue, point out each other's frailties, mistakes, and bad judgment, flash the insecurities we've had since childhood, and then come back together. Moments when I wished to become an aunt through you, to spoil your kids and act out as their second mom. But God obviously, always have other plans. But I never ever regretted for all these. Because, being who you are, made me what I am today to an extent. You taught me everything that I really needed to know. So I am happy for that. So no matter what, I will be always there for you. I know I could be rude at times, I am sorry for that. But I wanna tell you that I love you explicitly. Nothing would ever make any difference to that. Love you. :) 

Little brother is someone you could love like your first born, scold like your baby, fight with like a brat, advice like a sister, hangout like a friend and who tags along you 24*7. Even thou you are ten years younger than me, you were always like my best friend. I still can't believe that I have told you all about my insanity. I just don't know how much I love you.  But I would fight against the world even if you did something stupid. You are one person I am possessive about. But at times you are a pain in the ass with that arrogance of yours. But still a Sweetheart.  Dear, remember to be always there for our folks. Never let them down. Be the big boy for me. Follow your heart and instincts and if ever you have to face a dark spot in life, remember even from the other world, I'll shine brighter to remove the darkness around you and hold you closer. And how much you grow you'll always be that bundle of happiness I holded when I was ten.

One thing I know is, if 'm writing here about you, then you would have been my everything by now. And I would have loved you with all heart and without expecting or demanding anything in return. Coz for me loving is selfless, giving and to be there. But if I had died young, I wish you are not there in my life. Coz I don't want another one to know pain coz of me. I don't want you to remember me with tears and to make your life completely bereft of love. But if I had died old, glad I grew old with you. I hope I did make your life beautiful with whatever time I had in hand. I want you to promise me to keep your heart and soul open for love again. Coz you are worth it.

I don't know which world I am in and why I am here. But for everything there might be a reason. I don't know whether you all will read this or know about this but still I m writing this coz if one day suddenly I am taken away from my people, I don't want to embark upon a different world with a heavy heart. And with these words, I tried to share my love for you all. You people made my life blissful with your presence and I hope even I did so. And now, with all the words and byes out there, I could go with no pains, no disappointments, but with a free heart and mind leaving all the adversities. But I would miss this world, coz it taught me love. Even if you run busying yourself whole time, at the end of the day you come home seeking love and comfort. That's the lesson this world gave me.

Yours always, 

Me.



2 comments :

  1. oh ! that was a sweet, Lovely while some line were as well as heart rending .. beautifully written !

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  2. This goes on to show how much you love your family and everyone else. I am not even half the person you are, my parents will laugh at me if I tell them I love them :-)

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