Emotions.

I have one of the worst mood swing syndrome. I can be the most pleasant female this moment and an angry young woman the next.


Today was one fine example for this disease of mine. 
From morning i was in my worst mood. And soon tears started dancing in my lacriminal gland. But the inner stubborn Goddess in me, the control freak took dominance over my tears. And every ounce of my energy and patience seemed to drain out of me controlling myself.
I just wanted to be out of my workplace asap. And at these rotten times of mine there are some poor souls who get the best out of me. And once out  of office i didn't even wanted to go home. Infact i wanted to be alone.
I don't know what was bothering me. But i was just too frustrated. And before it was too late the tears left their stage and started flowing down my cheeks. I absolutely hate when my tears fail me and smirk at me and my inner Goddess, so openly. 


Mmmmh.......... Overall this day was not my piece of cake.


But noone promised life to be beautiful and fair always.


So everything has to be accepted.


Hoping for a better tomorrow.





P.S. Just letting out my emotions.






Keep Smiling.


God Blez.

Friendship Day :)

Happpieeeeeeeee Friendship Day to alll.... :)

P.S.  For every Tom there should be Jerry to irritate the hell out of him, still, stand against the world to support him and love him like a best buddy.

God Blez.

:)

Blurt Out.

It’s not about feeling good… it’s about getting accustomed with what you have and been happy for that. No one told that life was fair. And definitely life is never easy. It is so hard despite the beautiful theories and writings.

Life is Beautiful? Yea, life is beautiful, but only at certain moments. But the reality is stinking. Hard core sorrows and pains are always round the corner waiting to pounce its' claws on you. Get used to that!

Life is so monotonous. Even during most remembered years of our education, it was monotonous. But, then, there, we were lucky to find some souls as disturbed and crazy as us.  And hence the monotony was converted to pure fun. But when stepping into the reality of real life, usually we fail to find such souls and we keep on searching. And before long we just dismiss the search hormones. With that unfinished job left, we get frustrated and end up blaming  it on and in everything around us.

But what’s better than to blame it all on ourselves?

P.S. Don’t know what this is all about.  Just pure insanity.

God blez.

Random Talks

When someone says you don’t sound like a Keralite…:) :)...  Don’t know whether it was in a good way or not….. But I prefer taking it as a compliment…. Especially when I have heard a lot of teasing regarding my accent back home.  

I couldn’t thank you at that moment….. .. .. Blame it on Work pressure, please…  But Thank you.

J

P.S. God Blez.

Knock Knock

August is always a month of terror for me. It was in this month i lost a dear one. For me it’s always about how much i wish him to be here... But at the moment want to jot down about him...

Just him.

He came into my life just like that. Without invitation, without warning or even without knocking.

One most beautiful thing M and I share is our Birth date. Being pretty obsessed with that date it was like an extra bonus to us. And, our favorite song is also the same, apart from the Campus. Subject we studied. Place we are from. Coffee. Beach. Sea foods. Night rides. Etc... 

Actually. similarities didn't find us, we found them.  

He is a person who genuinely loves his parents, adores his sisters, who would die for his friends, who respect women, die hard animal lover, have concern for the less fortunate, who behaves really well to those who waits at tables in restaurants, who doesn’t hesitate to say sorry, who is not embarrassed to let his tears flow, who admits his mistakes, who would try his best to keep promises and soo much of a lovable persona.

He’s actually one guy I have seen who would do anything under the sun for his loved ones. He would travel from across the sea just to see you. Could go to any extreme just for a Smile on your face. He’s a person who values even the minute happiness or moments. And who gets happy and sad for small small things. 

An athlete by passion and a business man by profession. He likes to read long mails and personal messages in cards. He's Brand cautious. Love bright colors. He would laugh his head off for the silliest and keeps a straight face for the funniest.

He also have a heck of attitude, adamant like a kid, with a pinch of arrogance added to stubbornness, anger at the tip of his nose, soo much of possessiveness which makes you feel special , soo powerfully strong and too bold. A misnomer!

I would say,  A good example for an Imperfectly Perfect Man.

P.S.  Miss hearing from You.

P.S.S. 'Present tense' makes happy endings.

P.S.S.S.  Keep Smiling.

God Blez.

Unbreak my Heart

I want you out of my life.
But I want you to stay there forever.

I don't wanna see you ever.
But I want to spend time with u.

I don't wanna talk to u.
But I wanna hear your voice again.

I don't like your Once in a Blue Moon Smile.
But I wanna see you Smiling always.

I don't like your singing.
But it can make me Smile.

I don't wanna trust you.
But no one trust you as i do.

Do i love you?
Do i care for you?
Does it make any difference to me whether U'r in Smiles or tears?
Who are you to me?
A stranger who i found when i can't find myself?
Or a friend who cheers me up?
Or some one who comes like a leap year?
Who are you?

Does Destiny play any role in meeting us up at the most unexpected time of our lives



God Blez. 

A peek into an Awesum Flashback.

One night in the month of March 2012, when we were having our random conversation of “How to make a difference”, the topic changed to the more obvious area of MCYM (Malankara Catholic Youth Movement). We wanted to do something new from the usual routines, wanted to try out something out of the box (we were kind of jobless at that moment)…. And the talks lead to the idea of a Personality Development residential camp for kids from high school (know it’s not an out of the box idea, but standing at the position we were then, it was something entirely out of the universe).

We both were more than stupid to move forward with the idea, inspite of not having any financial support, human resource or the knowledge in this area other than some friends and our Director.  

A whole month was given for this. The plan was sketched and re-sketched, name was searched from local books to dictionary to internet,  brochure was designed and printed, re-designed and printed. Venue was searched, menu was fixed and changed and fixed.
Everything was been done a 100 times, but each time learning something new.

Ads were given, brochures were distributed. Cousins and family friends’ kids were brain washed or more over forced to register.

Then the wait was on….. for the public response.

The first call!!! The smile and excitement it gave me is undefined. For the first time I felt, ‘This is gonna happen’. Because convincing parents that we the youth are gonna handle their children and gonna develop their personality in a five day camp was a challenge, and a greater challenge when the parents considered us as KIDS!!!!!!!

After that, days became longer and nights became days. And I was never seen in my own house before 9pm and after 9am, which made my initially over supportive mom to chant, “You’re a grown up GIRL, and not a BOY to roam around at this time of night”. Due to this constant reminder of hers we were forced to shift the meeting place to my house.

After giving a month of our time for this, the D-day came. 

Kids actually came to the venue with their bags and stuffs and that too even before us. Anything else needed to make us happy?

Thus,

Manana 2012 officially started. With 37 children.

And it was one hell of a week.

Days, when we slept at 3 and waked at 5am, that too, without the ear throbbing sound of the alarm… when we, ourselves who needed someone to look after us, actually took care of all the 37… when we  bothered about their health and food more than ours… when we did everything to make them happy and secure… when we became suddenly mature enough to be their Chettans and Chechies… when we had to go to hospital twice in 5 days, and when the Vicks toffees were handed out in tons... and when we truly lived like One Very Big Happy Family.

Scoldings, peer fights, fun, ego, smiles, tears, personal issues, stubbornness, fear, tension, home sickness….. You name it…. You could find there.  

Even we, the so called big ones were not bad enough. We had our bit of everything… from fighting, teasing, going for a walk around the campus after sane hours, sharing our life stories with a Maaza under a banyan tree to the night shopping to Big Bazaar for our mid night snacks…. We were definitely having fun.

Finally, the last night….. when these little ones started letting out their tears with, “We want more days”, “We will miss our friends”. The moment of ultimate satisfaction.

YES!!!. This was a success!!!.  

The night was spend with taking photographs, exchanging numbers, promising to meet in Facebook, anthaksharis, mimics and everything they could come up with.

The final day….!!!! When everyone packed their bags and was ready to leave, we promised and hoped to keep in touch and to meet the same gang with some new members the next year. 

I don’t know whether every child benefited from this, but ‘m sure at least one did.

At least one learned to share, to be happy with what they have, to feel blessed, to be confident, to appreciate others, to speak out without fear, to live out of their parents wings, to understand that people do care for them, the sweetness of relation, the feeling of missing each other,  and ultimately, to love and to be there for one another.

Because we personally did all this when we were trying to teach you, little ones.

The relations, the people around you, the opportunities, smiles and tears, nothing is permanent. You'll miss them one day, but till then enjoy everything given to you. And even when this world is not that beautiful it is definitely worthy to live.

P.S.   To, my Manana Sweethearts. 

Be good to everyone whether they are white, black, gray, young, old or anyone. And Smile inspite of the negatives around you. Then you'll have the best personality.

Definitely miss the time spend with you all.  

Love u kids.

P.S.S.  Children do know to fake a smile, but when you reach out to them you could make a difference in them.

God blez.

J