Sunday, February 14, 2016

Tug of War between Single and Married!


"Marriages get better or worse. They won't stand still." Yes, I got married! 

Today is the 15th day of my new life. (Thank you for all the wishes… with a huge smile.) I have been neglecting my blog for months now. Last time I posted something was on Dec 31. And I got this huge guilt feeling for ignoring my space. I’m sorry my dear. But situations were not so easy and the limitation in technology just made it worse.

Right now, I’m in my hometown in regard of my engagement, wedding and the related events. Do I enjoy this new addition in my life? The change in my status? Actually I’m yet to say I’m in love with the changes. No! Don’t take me wrong. It’s not that I don’t enjoy been married, I do, thou we both have all the inhibitions two persons go through when they walk down the initial days of an arranged marriage. But the thing I miss most is the word “Single”. Been a very independent female, who used to do everything as per her own decisions, time and space, I find it a bit difficult to accommodate another soul so close to my premises. I enjoy my me-times, shopping, friends’ zone and everything at my own pace and structure. And all of a sudden there comes a change in that. And the best part is the partner is so ready to give me all those, but the family and the society is just too keen in our lives.

Since both of our places are not too far, we keep shuttling between both houses. And one day he went from mine to his to get some documents, and he was supposed to be back after some time. But unfortunately he got sick and without thinking much I suggested to take rest if he can’t drive back. And that single statement made my whole clan to call me up the following days and literally took my peace away. They assumed we fought and that’s why we were in separate homes for the night. And the facts that he returned the next morning even before I woke up, didn’t even fall on their ears. And then today I went the morning mass with my mom as always and he been sick didn’t join me. Right after the mass, every aunties wanted to know where the hubby is, they couldn’t digest the fact that I came alone for the mass. I mean… seriously?!

Does the word privacy, space, individuality just evaporate when you say I do? Or do we actually have to fight with the world to keep them close? At times, no, most of the times, I find myself playing a tug of war between single and married. When my mind decides to do something with me alone, brain immediately sends alert that YOU’RE MARRIED in red bold letters.

Changes are inevitable in life. And that’s the essence of life too. But some changes happen to us all of a sudden and you’re in a mid-state of not able to accept yet have to accept situation. And that’s life. I know life changes after marriage. But people can't expect you to be someone different altogether in a day. Anyways I don't intend to. And as far as I know, the partner also feels the same. And that's what it's all about nah?

Wishing peace and happiness to all. And I believe that's what we're seeking with this whole life thing.